I just found this subreddit yesterday and I fell in love. I want to be a RPW but I'm honestly not sure where to start. I figured the first thing I should do is post some background info on myself. I'll apologize in advance for the length of this post.

I'm 26, been with my husband (he's 27) for five years, married for three. We have four kids, but only three live with us full time (my stepson lives in another state with his mom). Our youngest was just born exactly two weeks ago today. I'm currently recovering from a c section. I'm also a SAHM. I had a full time job when we started dating, but after I got taken off work during my second pregnancy three years ago, we decided it made more sense for me to just stay home with the kids from that point on.

Anyway. My husband and I had a LOT of problems during the first two years of marriage. It started after our son was born; he was an extremely grumpy, difficult baby and cried all the time and never slept, so it took its toll on us. The stress made us fight constantly. I also gained a lot of weight during that pregnancy which led to my husband temporarily finding me unattractive. He even admitted to me during that time that he wasn't in love with me. We've since recovered from that, but I continue to have devastating insecurities because of it, especially now that I've just had another baby. My weight gain this time was much better and he's always telling me how much healthier and better I look compared to last time, but I no longer find myself attractive like I used to, even though in my head I know I am. If that makes any sense at all. I'm working on my self esteem though, and once I'm recovered from my surgery I'll be going back to the gym regularly but it's just hard right now while I can't do much of anything.

Personality wise...he and I are both very stubborn people and both always feel the need to "have the last word" in an argument. During our major marital issues (we almost divorced several times), I learned how to compromise a lot better than he did. I made a lot of changes within myself to try to make things work but old habits die hard. I cuss like a sailor, for example, and if he snaps at me for whatever reason I have a VERY hard time biting my tongue. It usually ends with me snapping back, and then it turns into a huge ordeal. We've gotten a lot better in the last year, but we never really "resolved" any of our problems so I'm often afraid they'll come back to bite us.

Basically, if the opposite of a RPW is a feminist, I'm currently somewhere in the middle. I do like and want to make him happy but I have a tendency to ask "what about me?" I'm trying to not do that as much. I don't have many hobbies, honestly. Before I got pregnant again I was teaching myself how to bake and decorate cakes and I want to pick that up again. Sometimes I make tulle wreaths and tutus which I really enjoy but we don't have much extra money nowadays so buying supplies for those things will have to wait a bit. I like to read and write, I love makeup and often consider trying my hand at being a freelance makeup artist. I love to cook and I'm good at it, but I haven't been able to do it for a while now, between pregnancy complications and now recovering from surgery. I should be back to normal in the next few weeks, and then I can resume cooking and cleaning, sex, exercise, etc., but right now all the chores are falling on my husband except laundry. I at least try to make sure to let him know how much I appreciate everything he's doing. I told him just yesterday that he's been a superhero, which he enjoyed hearing.

Anyway, if you've gotten this far, I appreciate your patience, and I'd love some advice. I guess I'm just trying to figure out where to begin in this transformation. I know it will be hard for me but I think it will also be good for me and, more importantly, good for my husband and our marriage. I read through most of the posts in the sidebar but I'm still a little lost. What are some baby steps I can take while I'm still recovering from surgery and can't do as much for him? What would the best "bigger" steps be to take first for someone like me, once I can take on my normal responsibilities again? How do you go about changing your entire personality so drastically?