Not my bf’s type + overcoming insecurity

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2018-06-07T12:20:55+00:00

I am confused. None of the things you described are physical characteristics.

You could just do your makeup differently and wear some hotter clothes couldn’t you?

PatriarchysConcubine · 2018-06-07T14:31:34+00:00

Most people in successful relationships don't seem to have gotten with their "usual type".

He's with you for a reason.

2-3-or-not-2-3 · 2018-06-07T10:18:16+00:00

If you were not your boyfriends type... then why did he select to be with you? I'm sure if I gave that description to my husband he would also say that is his type... "Hot babes" are hot.

I think alot of what you described is literally cosmetic. You may not want to give that appearance at a job or school or even a party, but it sounds like it would be pretty easy to get in that look for an evening / weekend etc.

LateralThinker13 · 2018-06-07T14:03:20+00:00

Shift in his "type's" direction in ways that you like. Try skirts sometime. Maybe you like simple makeup but could do some bright lipstick. IOW, compromise.
Therapy. Insecurity is all on you. Having baggage from a prior relationship, prior abuse, an eating disorder... yeah. Therapy. This isn't something you can just muscle through, and it has a good chance of ruining your current and future relationship(s).

Karakittyyy · 2018-06-21T03:14:24+00:00

I had issues with this recently but I realized I was being stupid. Like everyone else is saying, he’s with you for a reason. My man is with me because of so many more things than just my physical appearance. While he does have personal preferences, they’re just that - preferences. I don’t know a single person that loves 100% everything about their significant other - they have to compromise on something but it’s worth it because of how amazing the person is. If his preferences run purely fashion-wise, that’s an easy fix. For my man, he likes super curvy girls with bubble butts. I wasn’t blessed with that, but I can work on being healthy and toned by hitting the gym and it totally turns him on to see how much I’m trying to improve myself and be sexy for him.

As for your insecurities and experiencing previous abuse, I’ve been there. I find they tend to come out at the worst moments, when we may not be feeling loved or feeling ignored. Sometimes things he says may cause flashbacks or uncomfortable memories. What has worked for me is to communicate with my captain and be totally honest. Communication goes two ways and we’ve adjusted how we speak to each other, especially while arguing, because the last thing I want to do is disrespect him / he doesn’t want me to feel unloved. Insecurity comes from a root of not being sure you’re loved (at least, in my case) but don’t fret - if your man is a keeper he will LET you know you are very much loved and wanted. The rest is up to you to work on yourself. Don’t expect him to constantly reassure you. Have confidence and with time the past will fade.

W0zzynix · 2018-06-07T13:13:48+00:00

I understand the insecurity, I've experienced it first hand. My husband's type is petite, athletic, gothic redheads (very specific I know) I'm petite & slim but have curves, black hair, and had kind of a 'girl next door' look. I adjusted my style accordingly, which helped. But after months/years of self doubt I realized he's with me for a reason, & obviously attracted to me. If you two are having regular sex try to quell your insecurities. Fake it til you make it. He digs you.

refelgallo · 2018-06-07T15:24:24+00:00

Personally I prefer to see dresses and skirts on who I’m dating more often than not. But overall “feminine” is my type.

Seeing my SO in jeans and a Tee and a new hair do is almost like role playing seeing/having a “new” SO and adds fuel to my already burning fire (read lust)

Now, as for OP, is your bf’s ‘type’ based on a pattern of “hot girls” or you just happen to know what his previous gf looked like? In other words do you KNOW this type is a pattern he has, or you saw/found out what his ex looks like and made an assumption about his type?

Title	Not my bf’s type + overcoming insecurity
Author	iseethestars2
Upvotes	8
Comments	9
Date	June 7, 2018 9:03 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/8p8szm/not_my_bfs_type_overcoming_insecurity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/not-my-bfs-type-overcoming-insecurity.67378 https://theredarchive.com/post/67378

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