On being independent.

deepthrill · 2014-03-09T19:08:11+00:00

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2014-03-02T21:12:20+00:00

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2014-03-02T21:17:24+00:00

You misunderstand, men don't like unyielding women who take overweening pride in independence to the point that they can't even mildly submit. That you are independent and self sufficient when single is fine, don't become so set in your ways that living with another person and not trying to control and micromanage them becomes impossible

FleetingWish · 2014-03-03T00:16:05+00:00

I need my job, I need my apartment, I need my food, water, and shelter. I need to be able to pay for these things myself and I want to work to make more money.

Um... I have a job, my own apartment, food, water and shelter, and my SO likes me just fine. But, even though you have those things, at the same time you're clearly not independent. Financially, you may be independent, but you've admitted to yourself you want a man in your life, and want to take the steps necessary to get one, that's what's important.

The "independent" woman is a woman who doesn't need a man for anything, not for happiness, not for security, not for anything. She's perfectly fine on her own. Then she starts asking why the men are so intimidated by her own independence, and doesn't realize they've just taken the hint that she doesn't need them. If a woman doesn't need a man, why would a man be around when she decides she "wants" one? Men want more value placed on their lives than that, they want to be needed.

eatplaycrush · 2014-03-02T23:28:54+00:00

Yes, you do need all of those things and those are totally realistic, but as others have said it kind of went over your head with as to how it really is.

Why isn't there anyone who likes you? Appearance, personality, etc? What? It isn't just magical. You don't want to wait five years then make changes so that you don't have too.

Also, you never know what type of man may want you in his life. You say "no good boyfriend is just going to suddenly financially support a women he has barely been dating" when that is far from the actual truth. My SO started financially supporting me within 5-6 months of knowing each other. I moved in and here we are years later. If you have serious potential AND value that can add to HIS life then a man will be able to see this. Granted, not all men are financially capable of such things, but it does exist.

miss_goldfish · 2014-03-03T03:51:24+00:00

Providing for yourself, cooking your food, and making a home are all womanly skills that we've probably been practicing since the paleolithic. See it as practice for your future husband and family: would a feminine woman allow her children to go hungry if her husband lost his job? No way- she would get out there and work, and then cook dinner and clean house. That's what my grandmother did in the 40s and 50s, but she is the most feminine and admirable woman I know.

PhantomDream09 · 2014-03-04T06:32:15+00:00

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rhettdu · 2014-03-10T02:34:44+00:00

male here. I hope that doesn't break any rules

A couple of points: there's a fine line between being a damsel in distress and a burden. Being dependent isn't a golden ticket (I don't know who implied it was).

The trick is to make your mark feel like he's needed or wanted. There are things that you can obviously do yourself - you seem like a smart woman - but letting a guy be your hero, even if its something really minor, will have him. Reward him in a quote/unquote "submissive" way and boom, he'll be thinking about you for weeks.

for example. "Hey Jim, you're really tall/smart/strong, can you help me change this lightbulb/repair this/move that/fetch those." Jim wants to be your knight in shining armour so he does it. The incidental complement, smile etc won him over. "Oh thanks Jim, you're the best. Here, I made you some cupcakes/coffee/a martini!" Job done.

Toss24 · 2014-03-03T04:24:58+00:00

Being independent is perfectly fine. What men are typically unattracted to is a woman who is obsessed with her job and being independent to where she doesn't want anybody else "messing up her plans" or would balk at the idea of letting someone else take the reins. You can be financially independent and still be able to attract and keep a man. Just don't let it consume you.

What's important is that you don't lose touch with your femininity in the process. Keep the job and the apartment, but don't make it the sole focus of your life. Have other hobbies. When you get an SO, make him your main priority, not your job. He'll appreciate that.

little_red_ · 2014-03-02T21:21:44+00:00

Why are you waiting 5 years to meet someone?

Title	On being independent.
Author	carrotcake4
Upvotes	8
Comments	44
Date	March 2, 2014 9:02 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1zdgtm/on_being_independent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/on-being-independent.165214 https://theredarchive.com/post/165214

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