I’ve (F25) been seeing a guy (M27) for about 4 months in the summer. From the get go - he’s been transparent with me about the fact that he accepted a temporary job for the winter as a ski instructor on the west coast.

Bc I knew this, I tried to keep the casual mindset (ie: not seeing him too often, going out with other guys, etc)

Nevertheless I found myself developing feelings for him anyway. Our dates turned more romantic by us cooking dinner together, going to concerts, spending holidays together, meeting friends etc. And it truly was a wonderful time!

I knew not to bring up my feelings to him bc I knew he was still leaving in November. I just sort of assumed to leave this whole experience as a friendly and fun memory I can look back fondly on.

A couple weeks before we parted however, he was nervous and said he wanted to tell me something. He basically confessed that he also has feelings and that he realized how much he was going to miss me. He wasn’t sure how I felt but expressed that he wanted to “stay in touch”. Idk if this is important - but he also mentioned that he had been doing the same as me (going on drink dates with other people to not get attached to me) but that in the end that was stupid bc it didn’t work.

He then said he’d love for me to come visit him in the West coast at some point (he had mentioned this before but I didn’t think he was actually serious about it).

I bluntly told him that I had feelings for him too and ofc that I would miss him! But expressed a bit of hesitancy about me visiting him if we weren’t in actual relationship. Idk but I need to feel a bit more emotionally secure about flying out to see someone I have feelings for.

He responded by saying he didn’t want to do long distance and that if I met someone while he was away that he’d be happy for me.

Anddddd that’s when he completely lost me.

Why would he go out of his way to say that he wants to stay in touch? That he wants me to visit? That none of the other dates were amazing? Just to say he doesn’t want to long distance? Idk if Im taking this too personally but I was a bit hurt by it.

Lastly he mentioned that his plan (although not definite) is to come back to the same city after ski season is over and find a more stable job. But of course this is all up in the air right now.

I left it as a friendly “yes we should stay in touch” and sort of just assumed that things would fizzle out.

Now Im quite confused on how to proceed. We’re now in diff places for the time being and I’ve stopped reaching out. But I see that he keeps sending me updates, wishing me happy holidays, and responding to my Instagram stories.

I do like him very much and think we could have a meaningful relationship if/when we’re in the same city.

But in the meantime this “stay in touch” thing sometimes feels like he’s giving me false hope / makes me think he’s trying to get me to wait for him.

Im not sure what to make of all this…or if Im overthinking. How can I protect myself emotionally?