Study: Nagging Kills

valleycupcake · 2014-05-10T23:21:03+00:00

The thing about nagging is it doesn't even work!

Even if he finally takes out the trash or whatever you've been on his case about, it doesn't make you happy or grateful. It just makes you think "well it's about time." And it doesn't give him any pleasure in accomplishing something or making you happy. When you nag and he still doesn't do it, it's even worse, because at that point it's so easy to take it personally.

Contrast that with an attitude of thankfulness and respect for his self-determination. That trash is still full for longer than you might prefer, but either you joyfully relieve him of the burden so you can spend more time together, or you let it get done on his timetable, giving appreciation and strengthening your bond when he does take it out.

Which relationship would you rather have? I had to learn this the hard way.

StingrayVC · 2014-05-10T19:25:12+00:00

Also see: http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2014/05/nagging-kills.html

When I was first married, I thought nagging was what a wife was supposed to do. Yes, there was cognitive dissonance as I could hear the disdain in my voice (not to mention that my husband would simply ignore me), but I couldn't get past the thought of, well, this is what wives are supposed to do. It's not.

I do wonder, do women realize just how awful it sounds and how very much men hate nagging? It is far worse than fingers nails on a chalk board.

[deleted] · 2014-05-10T20:42:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

drugdoctor87 · 2014-05-11T12:46:23+00:00

Nagging is a form of disrespect. If a woman doesn't respect her husband, how can she be in a happy relationship? How can the man be happy knowing that his wife does not respect him? Simple as that.

jhangel77 · 2014-05-11T05:31:55+00:00

I've learned one of my biggest weaknesses is that I tend to nag and I know I need to always work on it. In my current relationship, if I do notice something or tend to want to say something to my SO over and over, I will stop myself. In my mind I ask myself is this going to matter to me in 5 minutes, 5 months, 5 years? Usually the answer is no because it's little things like taking the garbage out, doing the dishes, etc...I realize he will do it, he's a big boy and I need to leave him alone. This thinking has saved me so much stress and we're happier for it. In turn, because I'm (trying) not nagging, he is more inclined to do the little things. The biggest lesson I learned from this is that you really do catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

scallopkid · 2014-05-11T05:35:13+00:00

Nagging is basically desensitization. It teaches the other person to tune you out. It doesn't work well on anybody, it's not limited to husbands.

TheToastTot · 2014-05-10T20:32:20+00:00

someone would get killed if i nagged.....

(other subs whispering behind their fans "i KNEW they were abused!!!")

[deleted] · 2014-05-10T19:52:13+00:00

As the saying goes, being nagged is like being nibbled to death by a duck.

hntr16 · 2014-05-10T23:49:02+00:00

interesting

Ashmoe · 2014-05-12T12:55:23+00:00

I have seen this first hand with my dad and my step mom. She is constantly on his case, whining, nagging, and complaining. (If anyone needs to be nagged, its my step mom because she lays on the couch all day talking about how busy she is, but she does nothing). They have been married for 23 years and it has been like that from day 1. My dad has heart disease and diabetes, and last year he fought (and won) a battle with Leukemia. I know she makes his health problems worse. Her constant nagging gives him anxiety and makes him angry, which can't be good for your heart when it happens day in and day out. She nags and nags, and then whines that he isn't romantic and loving with her. HA!

He doesn't leave her because he would owe child support for my 2 brothers and alimony, which would basically leave him broke. I guess he would rather suffer with her until the boys grow up or until she kills him with her bitching. The whole thing is sad, and drives me absolutely insane because its so predictable.

Title	Study: Nagging Kills
Author	StingrayVC
Upvotes	19
Comments	15
Date	May 10, 2014 7:21 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2586at/study_nagging_kills/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/study-nagging-kills.197093 https://theredarchive.com/post/197093

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