What Phases Do Men Over 40 Go Through?

CountTheBees · 2026-03-05T03:53:09+00:00

I surmise that men, as they get older, will preference low maintenance vibes as discussed in this article. Less tolerance for drama, gossip, emotional instability, shit testing, etc.

GreatMenderTeapill · 2026-03-05T03:52:30+00:00

I'm a 43M.

Mindset: Making/Saving as much money as possible. I am a business owner and I wish that I had the perspective on what exactly that means at a much younger age. I could easily be comfortably retired by now if I saved/earned aggressively at a younger age.

Also I am much more open to having a long term partner than I was when I was younger. That didn't take much because I was basically 0% open to it in my 20s and 30s.

Physical Health: Much more focused on it. Maybe not in the best shape of my life but I'm certainly the healthiest I've ever been. I spend a lot of money on eating clean. I exercise much more regularly. I became conscious of it actually being a necessity after 40. I also do not drink or party like I did when I was younger. I probably drink alcohol 4 times a year.

Sex Life: No interest in chasing women. I have plenty of sex now but it is much less than when I was 20 or 30. It's not out of a lack of interest but more of a lack of interest in chasing. I am probably better at sex now because when I was younger I didn't care about pleasing women. Maybe I'm lower T now but intimacy and companionship have become more important. If I am lower T it hasn't affected anything sexually physiological.

Are these some of the insights you were looking for?

Cosima_Fan_Tutte · 2026-03-05T14:28:47+00:00

There are some universal phases, of course, but it also depends on where a man is in life. The 43M here who says he's now open to commitment is a different type of man than one who got married at 30 and is now knee-deep in family life.

Pretty much all the men I know are married fathers in their 40s. Generally their lives revolve around family life and once the kids are in first grade or so-- youth sports (coaching, driving the kids, working to pay for it all, lol). When they're not working, they're busy with the house or the yard. Socializing is mostly done with family and friends with kids.

Judging by my husband, men in this stage of life want a solid marriage, some sex (they're tired because kids, plus wives are getting closer to menopause), and as much peace as family life can provide.

Also, this is the age when parents and friends start getting sick or dying, so there's this layer of heaviness and mortality. Men are pushed to get serious about their own health and birth control. It's the era of minor medical indignities, colonoscopies and vasectomies.

Depending on industry, layoffs and ageism in the job force are a major fear, as well as cost of living (kids, house, feasibility of retirement).

Thatoneshortgoblin · 2026-03-05T08:41:40+00:00

Civil war and world war obsession always kicks in eventually 🤣

countessbathory07 · 2026-03-05T04:05:59+00:00

I wonder if most older men are attracted to younger women in their 20’s? They can see themselves in a serious relationship I mean? Asking for a friend lol

Former_Range_1730 · 2026-03-05T14:20:08+00:00

I'm male, I hope I can contribute on this.

I'm 48, and I feel like a more improved version of who I was at 25. I still feel 25 but stronger, more flexible. I eat far better, exercise far more, things are great.

I see other men my age who look and act like they're 80. So it depends on the guy. And really there are categories. The high value guys in their late 40's tend to just be more improved versions of themselves when they were younger, and the lower value guys in their late 40's tend to be at the end of their lives as they let their bodies fall apart, which affects their mindset.

AutoModerator · 2026-03-05T03:25:25+00:00

Title: What Phases Do Men Over 40 Go Through?

Author roxelay

Full text: Hey all!

I’m curious about the different phases men over 40 might experience (both mentally and physically). From your experiences, what changes have you seen in their mindset, physical health, and sexual life?

I know it can vary widely from person to person, but I think sharing our insights could be super helpful! There doesn’t seem to be much coherent documentation on this topic, so I’d love to hear your takes and any advice you might have.

Let’s help each other understand this better; who knows, there might be some overlaps in our experiences!

Thank you all!

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Jenneapolis · 2026-03-06T15:31:50+00:00

I believe there is truly no one size fits all, or even trends here. When I was younger, I had hopes that men would mature and grow into their 40s, grow up so to speak, but when I look at the men I've known (e.g. exs), that really didn't happen. Mostly they doubled down on who they were and their bad habits even more so into the 40s.

For example, my non-committal ex of 10 years at 31 said he wanted marriage and kids and had a kind loving heart but his actions never lined up with that. He was a sex addict, kink addict, and work addict who said he would change and wanted to. Now at 48, the last time I heard from him, he had doubled down on his "fuck life" attitude still running around with women, addicted to work and masturbation, now I guess into guns, and talking about how he makes fuck you money and nothing else matters. It made me sad.

My other ex who was somewhat living a double life taking care of his ex wife and kids with his women on the side who he was future faking is still doing the same thing into his 40s, with his ex wife and kids in the US where he plays good dad and he married some girl in Czech who he got pregnant I presume to keep her on the hook. Yet he spends most of his time alone in another city from either of these families.

And yes I'm responsible for picking shitty men.

Of course those are bad examples. My brothers, who are in their mid to late 30s who are good guys and always wanted a wife and kids in their 20s are the same - they love and are dedicated to their wife and kids now. So I guess the moral is, people don't change too much. Not like what I thought would happen.

randhorn · 2026-03-06T02:38:32+00:00

My 40s were very good to me until very late in that decade. That's when health issues began to raise I their ugly heads. I'll provide more details to those who wish to chat.

TDSD85643 · 2026-03-07T09:35:03+00:00

Sorry for the long post. If Mods, delete, get it. Mid-40s man, with my wife for 25+ years, though married for less than that. Hopefully this is sufficiently RPW to not get in trouble.

As a humorous note as to the history thing, at least for the married subset that is real. I have a stack of WII history books on my nightstand and don't really understand how that happened (Like, one day I was like I need to order this WII book). A few months back, was visiting a friend and was about to start talking about a particular Pacific Theater WII admiral and prefaced my comment as to whether he was familiar with that admiral, and he proceeded to explain that, of course, among our friend group of mid-40s married men, we all know a a fair amount that specific admiral.

I think there is a key divide, between married and unmarried or perpetually divorced 40s+ men. For unmarried or perpetually divorced 40+ men, I don't interact with many, so don't have much insight.

For myself and most of the married men I know, there is some non-trivial physical doubt. There is a social perception that all men think they are infinitely sexually desirably and that therefore all men enjoy the confidence/ego boost that accompanies that, but I don't think that applies at 40 and beyond. Men in their 40s being to experience various physical changes. The men I know have largely responded to that doubt by re-committing to the gym or endurance activities. My take away from either of those choices are that many 40+ men are serious about fitness, but assumptions about how those men think they are perceived / viewed are misplaced. At least among my otherwise very successful male friend group (e.g., men with professional degrees earning near mid to low-six figures), a physical compliment from an attractive women will be remembered for months or years because culturally, such comments are uncommon from spouses. I am a devoted husband but haven't forgotten a compliment about my voice I received at a professional event 4+ years ago.

One further thought, obviously can't speak as to whether this is generalizable, In his very late 30s one of the men in my near friend group divorced. He in relatively short order committed to and married a very successful woman. He had always wanted a long-term commitment and pursued that after the divorce. (He is also in exceptionable shape, exceptionally successful, and exceptionably personable, meaning if he wanted to pursuing something different, he probably could have, but he wanted a long-term partner and he found her). My point, 40+ men are either very actively seeking long-term relationships or want something different, and women dating such men should take note.

My point being that is this, 40+ men generally know what they want, so if they are not married, and are not aggressively seeking that, they are not serious. So, if I was talking to a woman friend dating a man in his 40s, I'd say that if a proposal was not on the horizon in 6 months (assuming that is what she wants), then it is a waste of time.

Proper-venom-69 · 2026-03-13T13:57:28+00:00

More calm, more experienced, more creative when having fun, sex life is better, because no woman can last or handle the experience of being pleased many times before pleasing myself.. You can read bullshit a mile away because it was created back when things were more simple and manually done before the internet and cell phones were full of drama and separation of people.. Soo much changes, but it depends on the person really.. some never change , depending on how sheltered they were growing up , or how they were taught or not taught.. a lot plays in factors here ..

ElvieLaa · 2026-03-05T04:20:07+00:00

Most of the men I’ve talked to who are in their 40s are nuts. Really eccentric or perverted or entitled. I rarely talk to men in that age group anymore after seeing such a pattern.

I don’t understand the downvotes. Most people who are single in their 40s have something wrong with them lol.

WAWABUU · 2026-03-05T04:31:38+00:00

Im not 40 yet, so i probably don’t have much to offer in terms of maturity through aging. But i just want to enjoy the opportunity to comment because i usually don’t want to intrude too much on a woman’s subreddit 😂😂

Meerkat343434 · 2026-03-05T04:39:46+00:00

Single men in their 40s have less interest in settling down than men in their 20s-30s.

They're more immature than men half their age.

They're usually involved in some kind of baby mama/divorce/custody battle drama and they want you to be their therapist.

They're having a mid-life crisis and going to nightclubs and swingers clubs (yes, SWINGERS CLUBS...)

They have drinking problems. They have untreated mental health issues. They're dropkick dads.

They speak down to you and mansplain everything like you're a child, especially if they have kids and you don't.

They use their kids as an excuse not to prioritise you, even though they never see their kids.

Title	What Phases Do Men Over 40 Go Through?
Author	roxelay
Upvotes	10
Comments	49
Date	March 5, 2026 3:25 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1rl6ngx/what_phases_do_men_over_40_go_through/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-phases-do-men-over-40-go-through.1574744 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574744

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