Where to start?

pearlsandstilettos · 2026-06-22T12:51:27+00:00

Please address the following question from the rules page for "asking for guidance". This is too vague for us to help

If you are asking a personal relationship question, please answer the following questions:

What is the problem, and what do you think is the root of the issue?

How have you contributed/attempted to mitigate the problem?

What is your current relationship status and length of time?

Be honest with yourself about what background is needed to help the community answer your question. Withholding information doesn't make it less true or relevant. Include the state of your sex life and ages.

Jenneapolis · 2026-06-22T15:36:53+00:00

Have you read and implemented surrendered wife?

Forsaken-Savings4370 · 2026-06-23T02:28:05+00:00

Honestly the surrendered wife by Laura Doyle has changed my life. She just understands the language of men which I didn’t. Also in combination with the queens code by Alison Armstrong, I’ve been realizing how I treat my partner as a woman rather than a man. Highly suggest those two. Laura’s advice has really changed our conflict like literally implemented her things on day 1 and I saw changes in my boyfriend the next day. It’s really crazy. I wish you luck and pray to god to bring your relationship wisdom, guidance, and strength ❤️

balhaegu · 2026-06-22T13:07:37+00:00

So why is it in shambles? Why is there resentment?

Thistlewhistler · 2026-06-23T18:09:53+00:00

If you can get hold of it Total Woman by Marabel Morgan is a really good, and quick read. Her advice boils down to

Accept (him the way he is, faults and all, and stop trying to change him)

Admire (his good qualities - make a list of his flaws and good points and then tear up the flaws! Keep adding to the good list)

Adapt (the only person you have the power to change is yourself, and attitude is your most powerful weapon)

Appreciate - men thrive on appreciation. They’re absolutely parched for it. If there’s one secret to turning a relationship around it’s letting him know when he’s doing well, acknowledging his efforts, making him feel seen.

AutoModerator · 2026-06-22T12:46:26+00:00

Title: Where to start?

Author Downtown-Effect-9533

Full text: My marriage is in shambles and I don’t even know where to start at this point in terms of implementing the red pill. There’s a lot of fighting, a lot of resentment and both of us are unhappy but don’t want to break our family apart.

Any advice is welcome and appreciated.

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AutoModerator · 2026-06-22T12:46:27+00:00

Thank you for posting to RPW. Here are a couple reminders:

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Wife_and_Mama · 2026-06-22T23:17:39+00:00

Well this is vague. You've been asked to provide more context, but I'll ask this. Are you both committed to making this work? Are you both willing to acknowledge that you are also part of the problem?

fg_hj · 2026-06-28T21:11:44+00:00

Specifically regarding if he sees you as less than I recommend Lundy Bancroft’s Why does he do that. It’s about domestic abuse and may not seem relevant at first but abuse comes down to seeing the other partner as less than and the book goes in depth about exactly that mindset and can be used regardless of whether the man is an abuser or not. So to deal with that very particular problem, which may be the source of all of his, say, contempt for you, I recommend that book. Being more submissive and caring to him (like the other replies suggest) will not change him if he sees you as less than, it will actually make it worse, as his behavior somewhat comes down to you being tolerant of it and not standing up, tho you are in a double bind where standing up makes him put you in your place.

Longjumping_Insect · 2026-06-29T06:23:49+00:00

Divorce him. You sound miserable and it sounds like HIS emotions, behavior, and ideology are causing your misery and it sounds like you’re blaming yourself for HIS internal problems. If you don’t want to divorce him, then go to couples counseling and make sure YOU choose the therapist and if he declines going then that says a lot about him.

PanteraSteel2001 · 2026-07-28T17:16:25+00:00

Stop being a feminist. The end. Its incredibly easy.

Title	Where to start?
Author	Downtown-Effect-9533
Upvotes	12
Comments	20
Date	June 22, 2026 12:46 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1ucjm6o/where_to_start/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/where-to-start.1583371 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583371

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