Why can't I have intercourse on first date?

girlwithasidecar · 2021-10-16T22:01:29+00:00

You can do whatever you want. The question is "what is the best strategy to accomplish my goals"?

So work with me here. What do you want (relationship-wise) now and over your lifetime?

jonmarli · 2021-10-16T22:10:00+00:00

(Edit to add that this advice is given assuming you want a stable long-term relationship that is at least similar to marriage:)

The problem isn’t sex, necessarily. The pacing of sexual intimacy gives signals about your maturity and also communicates to men the value that you place on yourself. It gives them the opportunity to invest more time in you, and that will naturally raise your value to them. Women who are impulsive about sex give red flags to men that they aren’t great relationship material, an otherwise provider-type might write you off as impulsive and immature for having sex on the first date. He’s going to have sex with you, and them he might waste your time pretending he might give you commitment while he has already decided you’re not the wife type.

Wait a little bit and you’ll weed a bunch of unserious guys out, and you’ll avoid getting just-for-funzoned by otherwise desirable potential men.

It’s true that you can have sex early on and it might still work out (I didn’t have sex on the first date, but still really early on with my husband), but it is still kind of reckless if your goal is finding a high value husband/partner.

If you feel bored by more reliable and kind guys, ask yourself why. I’m reading at least as much black and white thinking here coming from you than these guys you’re describing. Reading a little bit of your post history, you DO seem impulsive and immature. Those are the signals you’re sending by chasing bad boys and having hookups and one-night-stands.

pearlsandstilettos · 2021-10-16T22:18:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

uniq0rn_qlitter · 2021-10-17T00:33:07+00:00

It makes you look easy. Men won’t respect you. Yeah, a relationship might work out but most likely not. Do you know how a lot of men talk about women with their friends? It’s pretty bad. My man is not a “Prince Charming” but he’s a little rough around the edges. He has a backbone I can respect. He can be rough with his hands. He can change his own oil. I waited to sleep with him about 8 months. Trust me, it was hard. The sexual tension was strong. We kissed, flirted, and our love grew stronger. He desired me. And I desired him. Not just for a day, but now we’re looking for a lifetime. A good on paper guy won’t necessarily make you happy. There has to be attraction and sexual tension there. You’re not dating a friend, so I get what you’re saying there. Eventually you will have sex with your partner, but if you want an actual relationship, stand out and don’t be like all these other girls giving it up too quickly. Make sure you can trust the guy and that he isn’t going to ghost you the next week. It’s a pretty bad feeling. -sorry if this is jumbled, just free writing my thoughts-

pearlsandstilettos · 2021-10-16T23:49:20+00:00

OP please remember to stick around and participate in your post.

crater01 · 2021-10-17T00:54:41+00:00

I’m kind of confused why you would ask this question on r/RedPillWomen. Going off your previous posts you are a man with a very feminine appearance, correct? You said you are not trans either. This sub, for the most part unless I’m mistaken, is mainly for women who want to eventually get married, find a HVM for them, learn about dating strategies/vetting, etc. The type of men biological/cis women deal with are usually very different from the men you are dealing with, since I’m assuming you’re dating gay/bi/curious men, judging on your past posts.

Idk. It just seems like this question was either asked in bad faith or you need to find a community that can better help you with your specific needs.

Magicallypeanut · 2021-10-16T21:58:23+00:00

It sounds to me you aren't ready to settle down into a monogamous relationship. You admit to almost cheating and then breaking up because of those thoughts. It sounds like you aren't ready to a ltr. That is totally fine!! Get the one night stands out of the way so when you are ready, you can settle in with someone, satisfied with the partner you have. I think one night stands become exhausting after awhile because it is always someone new, nothing consistent. Eventually you might find yourself wanting something consistent and that is when you transition into a more traditional dating environment. Just my thoughts. Nothing wrong with where you're at right now

Title	Why can't I have intercourse on first date?
Author	DarkMoon-7
Upvotes	2
Comments	18
Date	October 16, 2021 9:10 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/q9kp8q/why_cant_i_have_intercourse_on_first_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/why-cant-i-have-intercourse-on-first-date.1079148 https://theredarchive.com/post/1079148

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