Work Travel Blues…

ToughCollection7460 · 2023-08-20T19:48:26+00:00

Though I don’t have any advice from a personal experience, you’re in a similar situation that my mom found herself in. My advice would be to definitely hire some help. My top recommendation would be a housekeeper, they’re affordable and will alleviate so much pressure, taking care of the “big ticket” cleaning items. A dog walker is incredibly affordable and alleviate some pressure as well.

My husband and I meal prep on Sundays and that has been an incredible help to us!! We keep dinners nice, but simple and breakfasts & lunches are ready to grab every day (from the fridge & freezer). Using an instant pot or crock pot will also make dinner prep and planning much easier and quicker!

It sounds like you’ve built a beautiful life and home and you’ve worked incredibly hard to do so! Hiring some help does not and will not discredit all the work you put into maintaining your home and family!

StunningSort3082 · 2023-08-21T01:35:02+00:00

I would outsource meal planning and prepping when your husband isn’t home. Sign up for a meal kit delivery service, meal prep your own casseroles, eat left over, eat a fun snacky supper, etc. The mere act of eating together is what is important for your kids, not exactly what they’re eating.

Next, I would strongly recommend a housekeeper or cleaning service. BUT, your kids are also all old enough that they should have chores to complete every day. They’re old enough to clean up after meals, sort and put away their own laundry, and clean their bedrooms and bathrooms. With supervision they can help with the animals and in the garden as well.

We take our days to daycare almost every working day. It’s climate controlled, they are around other dogs, and they get enough exercise we don’t worry about their weight. A dog walker is fine, but I’d recommend daycare if possible.

As a third priority I would say a mothers helper that does school pick up and activities may give you the most extra time for yourself. Your kids are old enough they don’t need their entire day planned out for them (I’d actually argue no kid does). Give everyone space to get bored, so they learn to be creative and develop their imaginations.

Your husband may be different, so YMMV, but my husband could not care less what I look like when he gets home as long as he knows there will be sex. I’ve given up that pressure long ago, and our marriage is better for it.

youllknowwhenitstime · 2023-08-21T04:26:28+00:00

>I’ve always just taken such great pride in doing it “myself”/being super woman/“doing it all”

I think this is the crux of the matter, since you already know what the solution is for dual-income high earners who inevitably run into this problem: outsourcing. The reality is most anyone "doing it all" is likewise borrowing energy and zeal against their future self, and months or maybe even a couple years later the debtor comes knocking. If there's something in particular you pride yourself in (maybe you really enjoy cooking, or you love your yardwork) save that for last on the outsourcing list. "Value per dollar" is really subjective in these areas because what you want to outsource first is whatever is the most bothersome. You're purchasing your health and vitality back here, so get rid of whatever is sapping it.

I would think you'd want a housekeeper and driver first - if a driver really is needed. (Many parents these days are overly worried about their kids walking from local schools, even though the activity and sun and minute independence would do them good.) Dogwalking can be a family activity, so I wouldn't outsource that right away, but driving takes more energy than you realize. Meal kits are overrated IMO though some people swear by them. Most have discounted trial periods so you can see if they work well for you. Wash & fold laundry services are something else you might look into; laundry is usually the least time-efficient use of a housekeeper but services can be a different story. Lawn/plant/landscaping care services would also be something to look into; even a once-a-month visit can really keep things under control.

Also, it's probably not just the fact he isn't "physically helping" that's wearing you down while he's gone. It's natural for a couple to feel revitalized from being around each other, so it's sort of like you are separated from an energy source for much of the week. Be good to yourself. Make sure you get into the Laura-Doyle style self-care priorities if you haven't already. You're very valuable to your family, and it'd be a shame if you pushed through that burnout-warning feeling you're getting and lost yourself.

Yougotmetripping · 2023-08-21T00:58:46+00:00

While I myself don't work, I am responsible for the household. Do you and your partner both work full time? Are the expenses in the household shared between your partner and yourself? Have ypu agreed to do everything in the house and provide financially?

Because I am fortunate to be a stay at home mum my responsibility is the home - cooking, cleaning, kids etc. But, my husband also knows it's overwhelming and tells me to get a cleaner. Not because I am incapable, but because he can see that I want time for myself too.

My husband still manages the garden, pool and other things like the cars etc

I know you don't want to burden your husband with things, but as he is the leader it's time to tell him your feelings and get direction. You should not suffer in silence and just do everything.

AutoModerator · 2023-08-20T19:21:43+00:00

Title: Work Travel Blues…

Full text: Hey, all!

Quasi-vent/request for some advice…

My husband travels frequently for work as an executive in his firm. He travels 3-4 days per week, nearly every week, and this has been going on for the past 8 months. Before now, I haven’t minded so much… it’s fairly easy for me to keep track of the kiddos and do morning/evening routines by myself, and go to work… but lately it has just seemed harder and harder to stay motivated with anything extra.

I usually try to to have the house very clean when he gets back, look nice for him when he gets back (day dress, makeup, a little “extra nice” lingerie etc…), make homemade meals most nights for the kids when he’s not here, have non-screen time entertainment activities planned for the kids after school, etc etc… but the past couple weeks it has felt just painful to get back in the “back to school routine” all alone.

The kids are getting into real upper-elementary school, and it’s a big step up in terms of homework, teacher meetings, shuttling to extracurriculars, friend drama, expectations on parents to do some of these elaborate crafts during the week to turn in on Fridays, PTA, etc…

I feel like I’m near my limit in terms of burnout from working a full time corporate job myself, and essentially functioning as a single mom during the week. We have two dogs, 4 chickens, a pet snake, a pool, gardens, big lawn, a menagerie of exotic plants, and it all just feels like too much for one person to look after. I have spreadsheets for budgets, grocery lists, animal and plant care schedules, bill due dates, pool maintenance, and everything else, but it still feels like I’m behind. I can’t offload any of this onto my husband or get his help/support/“say I can’t” a la Lauren Doyle… because he is physically not around, and the 3 days per week that he is home, he understandably wants to relax.

What is the next move when you feel like your about to drown/go under? What have been the most impactful ways you have gotten things off your plate? Was it meal kits? A housekeeper? A driver to get the kids to and from school? A dog walker? We can afford these things… I’ve always just taken such great pride in doing it “myself”/being super woman/“doing it all”, and I’m not sure how to start in terms of outsourcing any of it. What high impact services could you suggest to help give me back some margin with a good value-per-dollar?

Appreciate any help/support, or just a kind word!!

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Title	Work Travel Blues…
Author	Scared-Tea-8911
Upvotes	8
Comments	13
Date	August 20, 2023 7:21 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/15wka81/work_travel_blues/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/work-travel-blues.1229340 https://theredarchive.com/post/1229340

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