21st Birthday. Feeling like shit

RedAnachronism · 2017-03-31T19:53:06+00:00

My thoughts are stop being a little bitch.

You're letting the actions of females (cancelling on a coffee date) affect how you perceive yourself and the world. If someone cancels on you, that's more time you've got to work on yourself.

I didn't have my first girlfriend until 23. Now I'm 30 and I've got 2-3 going at any time one time.

Focus on the shit you like in life, stop giving others power over your happiness, and buckle down.

PDFileKyle · 2017-03-31T20:03:29+00:00

the two times I got stood up on a coffee date was at a place I love going, so I just grabbed a pastry and played some pinball and went about my day. SHE didnt show, never knew what kind of dude I was, but let me know just what kind of person she was. Not worth your fucking time.

Keep on keepin on bro, and dont get so caught up in emotions, and dont beat yourself up for the things the guys here say to you. Move on and get your mind off of this shit somehow.

Archwinger · 2017-03-31T20:16:47+00:00

You seem to be in the habit of making a meeting with a woman into a significant event in your life.

Turn that around. You want to go to place X and time Y and do thing Z. Doing Z is the event in your life, because you like Z and are interested in it, and happen to have the time to do it at Y.

And oh, by the way, you invited one (or more) girls to show up and do Z with you. But if nobody shows, you still end up doing what you wanted to do. If a girl does show, there you are, at place X, where you know people and are having a good time.

If you weren't going to be at that particular coffee shop at that particular time already, as part of your own day, why the hell are you asking a girl to meet you there?

OutstandingWeeknight · 2017-03-31T20:05:11+00:00

I agree. Stop being a little bitch. I'm 5'6 and I've fucked plenty of girls. It has to come organically. Trying to force your way through "coffee dates" doesn't work. Especially in college.

You clearly don't understand trp if you think reading trp and lifting will get you laid. You have to BE someone they want to fuck. Become somebody. Pick up a hobby where you'll meet people and is interesting to talk about. Work your social circles.

Entropy-7 · 2017-03-31T20:12:20+00:00

1) Stop being a whiney bitch

2) Let your emotions run wild.

Don't over-think all this Red Pill shit.

How do you get over the lonliness of wanting to be successful?

I invoke Nike: JUST DO IT!

But ask yourself: "What is success?"

If you want to make a million dollars, I can't help you there.

If you want to get laid, perhaps I can help you.

Peter_B_Long · 2017-03-31T23:24:20+00:00

• Yes you're still 5'7 and you're going to keep being 5'7 so learn to accept it. I know a guy who is around your height, maybe shorter, and not very big, although kinda lean. His LTR cheated on him, and he turned that shit around. He had sex with 2 of our friends in our group and is probably plating them, one of them let him hit it raw and she went the next morning by herself to get a plan b pill. He didn't give a fuck. He's probably fucking other girls too. He's the shortest guy in our group and getting the most pussy out of everyone.

• 4 months is pocket change. Keep lifting. I'm sure you've hardly built enough muscle to start going for a cut. I know, you wanna be 'shredded' for the summer, but I recommend you still keep trying to build muscle for the rest of the year, then next year you can finally start a cut once you have good mass on you and you can look like Zack Efron next summer. If you just cut now you're just gonna look skinny and no ones gonna know you lift.

• If deep down you don't want to become a doctor, don't even start. That has to be the toughest career to accomplish and I'm sure that almost 100% of doctors had a deep passion for it when they started. Study what you love, our you're going to live the rest of your life miserable.

• Who cares what people say about you. Who cares that people have told you that you're good looking and funny and smell good (?). All that matters is how you feel about yourself.

• You feel shitty because you're seeking validation from everyone. First of all, you shouldn't even rely on girls to do things for you. You should've had the attitude like: 'Hey girl, I'm gonna grab a coffee on Saturday, come join me', cause then if she bails, you're still getting your coffee, and you could've flirted with other girls at the coffee shop.

• The 12pm happy birthday texts is for fucking girls man. Stop seeking validation. No one gives a shit but your mom. Your post sounds like it belongs on the nofap subreddit. I'll be honest, when I had my earlier birthdays before TRP I also looked forward to midnight texts and people wanting to take me out. But now, fuck that. I'm gonna plan my birthday as if I was taking myself out. I'm going to go eat at my favorite restaurant, then I am going to my favorite bar and have my favorite drink or go buy myself some new clothes and treat myself or buy myself a new guitar (I did this for my last birthday and it felt awesome). THEN, I'm going to invite my friends and maybe different girls (for the different things I'm doing) and if they wanna come, great! If they don't, fuck it! It's their loss!

• You need to find a balance between chasing your dreams, and enjoying yourself and not being such a loser. For example, I work Monday-Friday. I don't go out on weekdays. I hit the gym early before work, and go to bed early to wake up early for the gym. My friends and my LTR know that I'm busy af during the week. I hit the gym for 90 minutes, I work my 8 hours, I go home and cook and prepare my meals for the next day, I meditate, and then I go to bed. If I want my LTR to come over, it'll be for a quick fuck and then drop her off after. I do my best to enjoy myself only 2 weekends out of the month, and I'll plan it like a week before. I don't do last minute plans. If I've been busting my ass in the gym and hitting all my macros for 2 weeks and been meditating and reading every day, I'll tell myself, 'Okay, you can have some fun'. and then I'll plan something with my friends or go to a concert or take my LTR on a fun date (cause I don't want her to think I'm a careless asshole (80/20)). Balance

• It's okay to go out with your 'friends' once in a while and practice your flirting / escalating skills on them hos. Just make sure it's something you want to do. Often times when my friends want to invite me somewhere or my LTR wants to go see a DJ, I'll always tell them that I'll think about it. Then, I look up the venue, listen to the DJ, check how far it is, and then think it over for a bit, and if I am not super excited for it (as if it were my own plans) then I'll tell them i can't make it (or if I just partied the previous weekend, I won't even bother, I'll just tell them next time). Some friends of mine are going to this awesome place that's about a 2 hour drive and last time i was there I had a wonderful time, but because I just enjoyed myself this last weekend, I told them no, even though it was something that I knew I would have fun at. Balance.

• You should not feel like 'less of a man' because you've never had a girlfriend. That sounds so pathetic. Stop feeling so bad about yourself and go get a girlfriend if you want one so bad. Stop watching porn and beating your meat every night. Go ask out 10 girls every day and eventually one will say yes. Abundance mentality.

• You should not be walking around looking pissed af. Negative thoughts are normal but it's obvious that you are not meditating. You should be meditating. Meditation will help clear your mind and open the capacity to happiness. Google the benefits of meditation, become inspired and motivated, and then go do that shit, quit being a lazy bitch.

• Everyone is scared that their goals won't work out. That is life. Life is about risks. Every billionaire and CEO took giant risks in their lives and that is how they got their success. They invested their money into ideas, and hoped for the best. Risk is good. Risk makes us feel alive, and risk is attractive. Quit playing it safe and start taking risks to improve your life.

• Lastly, even if you're going to do nothing that I said, at least read 'No More Mr. Nice Guy'. Every little bitch problem you have can be improved with that book. It'll help you prevent seeking validation, help you accomplish your goals, and help you stop being such a little bitch. good luck.

JSizzl3 · 2017-04-01T00:06:26+00:00

Happy Birthday u/brwntable. You remind me of me at your age: same height, same sense of fear and bewilderment, wanting an answer to the question "What am I missing?"

Sounds like you're putting in an honest effort toward your career (as you should be), but you also sound like you feel entitled to some kind of reward for being a guy who follows the rules. Unfortunately that attitude will not land you the results you want. Trust me and a few others on here, we've been where you are, and from time to time we still might struggle with that feeling.

It does get better, with patience and staying focused on where you want to get in life. Don't let some random flake put you in a mopey mood for a week, she might have done you a favor. When you get to the point where you have no problem doing the same because of your numerous options, or just because you'd rather stay home, you might not even remember her.

You sound introverted, which means you might be adverse to social situations involving large crowds; nothing wrong with that, you just enjoy more intimate settings. Plenty of girls do too. Libraries and Starbucks aren't going extinct any time soon. Get your studying done and watch people every once in a while.

Success won't come overnight, it comes from sacrifice and staying on your grind. But trust me, you will be in a far better position in ten years than most of your classmates living the fun college lifestyle now; all you have to do is put in the work.

Stay strong.

Bambam22bam · 2017-03-31T21:58:15+00:00

I turned 21 in prison with no money, job or education. I was grateful then because I was already more than a year clean from addiction.

This year (last week) I turned 29 on a private beach in St. Lucia with my foreign, ivy-league educated girlfriend while on vacation from my six figure job that i got 2 years after graduating from university with degrees in finance and economics. I was top 2-3% of all men there in terms of muscle/body.

If your goals scare you, you're doing it right.

Work your ass off. Do the right things. Trust the process. Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance.

Mostly, who gives a fuck what some group of late teens/early twenties hoes is doing at the club? How are they anywhere near as important as you discovering and fulfilling your life's purpose. I didn't party at University. Why? because i was busy lifting and working my ass off to develop myself and career. Focus.

DubbleFUPAwitCheez · 2017-03-31T20:28:45+00:00

You might be in a rut. First time I've felt happy in a while was doing 100 meter sprints for HIIT after working out last night. Haven't done sprints since football but it felt good and though I ached I enjoyed it.

Try doing something new no matter how small. Monotony can feel like stagnation and stagnation is tantamount to living death which can leave you feeling like this.

Pitchfork51 · 2017-03-31T20:43:36+00:00

So you don't ever do anything fun where the girls you like go since it isn't "your scene" but get frustrated with lack of success with girls.

You resent the girls for 'hoeing around" because they aren't doing it with you. And resent the guys for hooking up with girls because they actually go where the girls are.

Do you not hear how goofy that sounds?

aanarchist · 2017-03-31T21:43:09+00:00

if a woman isn't interested in you, it's because there is something fundamentally wrong with her, get that through your head son.

S-Blaze · 2017-03-31T21:49:37+00:00

''I walk around looking pissed af cause of these constant negative thoughts in my head.''

thats the problem

MattyAnon · 2017-03-31T22:16:12+00:00

Had a coffee date and she cancelled on me. Got rejected earlier in the week by another girl.

Two girls? Who the fuck cares. There are 3.5 billion more.

You need to not put your efforts into TWO girls in a week. You need to put your efforts into flirting and meeting TWENTY girls in a week.

Getting one out of twenty feels a lot better than getting none out of two.

How do you get over the lonliness of wanting to be successful?

Socialise in your own way. If you like party/club girls, then go there. If you look bookworms go to bookstores. Obvious shit.

Never had a girlfriend so i feel like less of a man

Girls do not define you, and a girlfriend can be a surprising drag. Fucking them is nice though.

I walk around looking pissed af cause of these constant negative thoughts in my head.

Focus on building your life and look at what you have rather than what you haven't.

I guess i'm scared that my goals wont work out and it's all gonna be for nothing.

Then don't do it.

If you don't have a burning desire to do it, don't bother. Do something you're passionate about.

DM112090 · 2017-03-31T22:30:18+00:00

Get mad. Not bitter.

Mad is a clean-burning fire, a focus that brings out the roar in a man.

beast52 · 2017-03-31T22:32:28+00:00

I get what you're saying man, I'll be 21 in a couple months and it's rough giving up all that pointless, fun shit so you can achieve your goals and succeed in whatever it is you're pursuing, I know I'll be the better for it though. But anyway, happy birthday dude!! Your 21st is a good excuse to loosen up a little bit. Enjoy the little things and go out and have a good time!

MentORPHEUS · 2017-03-31T22:54:15+00:00

Outcome independence is something you can internalize now.

Once you've gotten some more successes with women under your belt, and spin more than one plate at the same time, you will have internalized abundance mentality. Your love life perspective will be forever better after this.

Stop letting the actions or inactions of others determine your sense of self-worth. Go do something for YOU for your 21st. As a man, your SMV will be rising for a good 15 years yet. The future is bright. Now, go seize it!

stumje · 2017-03-31T23:37:07+00:00

do what feels right and stop caring what others think, i see your under pressure and still pissed your a virgin, i think your attitude is one of the reasons why your not getting laid, girls can sense and are turn off by it. what can help with that is loving yourself and embracing masculinity, let go of the pressure of being a virgin and forcus on what truly matters right now, lifting is a supplement to that but its what on the inside that matters , hell i'm still virgin and learning the ropes to game and women, I've make mistakes and learn from them and one day be a true man , the red pill is here to support all us and makes us together stronger, some people here are arrogant and even though at times tough love in neccialy at times it isn't fucking right to put down billy beta taking the steps to be true alpha, honestly how many of us were beta before theredpill here.

johker · 2017-03-31T23:42:07+00:00

Alright young one. You're 21. Unless you're a trust fund baby or a celeb or some shit, things will be crap. You're a skinny fuck but your saving grace is that you have time on your side.

Get your ass to the gym, read, and go after your doctor goals with no abandon.

You are the low man on the totem pole. Just accept it and improve

caleyjag · 2017-03-31T20:18:28+00:00

You are 21. Have patience. You are on the right track pursuing an ambitious career (assuming you truly want to be a doctor of course). Keep the head down in the library and the gym.

Personally I found I was a bit invisible to women at your age but by the time I was late 20s with my career off the runway (and more established in terms of status and self-confidence) they were lining up.

In med school and residency I'm not sure how much time and energy you will have for chasing tail anyway.

Pwntear · 2017-03-31T23:45:15+00:00

Simple solutions: force yourself to go to bars/clubs with friends. Get a xanax prescription if you're socially awkward (don't listen to that scaremongering bullshit, you can pop them and drink too, if anything you'll have a blast but you blackout easy), get on tinder and start swiping (guaranteed lay)

Cptharis · 2017-04-01T00:32:22+00:00

You're not going to progress being on here

Title	21st Birthday. Feeling like shit
Author	brwntable
Upvotes	9
Comments	23
Date	March 31, 2017 7:36 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/62nj10/21st_birthday_feeling_like_shit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/21st-birthday-feeling-like-shit.42306 https://theredarchive.com/post/42306

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