Summary: We all know the basic texting rules and we adhere to them. At least we think so. But after an evening spent drinking beer with mates, talking about girls and reviewing our conversation I realized that just by looking at your past texts you can learn a lot.

 

You have huge repository of knowledge sitting in your phone, assuming you don't delete your numbers and past conversations. And you shouldn't delete them! Not only you can learn from the past but there is always that slight chance that she might break the radio silence. And that's usually a good sign. It also means you weren't top of her list but let's not focus on that. Instead - you'll welcome the history which will tell you a lot about her and the dynamic you've had.

So how your vast archive of texts and Messenger-WhatsApp-Viber conversations can help you? You don't need to be an expert to spot the obvious mistakes. Look through your texting history and ask three simple questions. Be brutally honest with yourself as it's the only way you can become better at this.

 

1. What response you were expecting?

 

Every single text should have an agenda. It's either to initiate contact (usually a ping text), pivot the conversation to an invite (usually a question), invite (obvious), get her emotional, display high value (DHV), make her wet (sex talk) or make her confused (when you show your other side - like sending her a picture of you playing with a cute dog). You want to achieve something with your texts. If that thing is "I hope she'll reply" then you're not employing any "texting game". You're just texting with no game at all.

That doesn't have to be complicated. Just think what you expect her to reply. The most common mistake is not anticipating any response at all. That's when you send her something in line of "We should totally do that". You might think you've just invited her but unless she's a "yes" girl she probably won't reply. Why would she? You're the man, you're supposed to be leading. Instead you're just hiding your dick.

Either send her an invite - "We should totally do that. Monday or Wednesday?" or if you think she'd decline get her emotional first "We should totally do that! I can already see you hurting yourself while doing whatever". The second one at least puts an image in her mind - of you two doing something together and her being terrible at it.

It's painfully obvious when you see a message that you haven't put any thought into. You cringe. You see yourself not being direct enough or conversely - pushing too hard when there were no signs of interest. When a girl replies to you after a two days you don't invite her with the very next text. You have to aim for the most likely response.

 

2. Did you have to answer that text?

 

You are not obligated to reply to every single text she sends you. Even if you're not that busy, pretend to be (or better yet - get busy). If you think that's rude then you have much bigger problems than your text game. It's not that you have to be unavailable but you're probably far too eager. And that makes you less attractive. Men got things to do, girls to game and life to live.

If it takes you too long to think about answer - just leave it. Sending a text out of some sort of unwritten obligation is doing you a lot of harm. It won't be witty, funny and it won't serve any other purpose than to keep the conversation going. When you struggle with your words but somehow manage to finally write a text then always review it using previous question - "what response do you expect?". If you can't tell - delete it and go on with your life. More often than not she'll text you again.

 

3. Were you losing the frame?

 

So you're that proverbial alpha guy who knows what he wants, goes for the kill (i.e. invite) and fifteen texts later you end up talking about dog breeds. Yup, you've lost your frame and now she's the one playing you. It happens and usually it's a sign of weak interest (or lack thereof). Girls like to play games, sure, but sometimes it's much more sinister. There are times when it seems she's ignoring your questions and statements like she doesn't really need you in that conversation. She's bored, boring or uninterested. Sometimes you just can't communicate with those girls via text.

So don't. Invite them out as soon as possible, don't give them enough time to employ their silly strategies and make you look like a fool begging for attention. Being harsh, straight to the point and demanding can work with at least some of those girls.

All in all it's hard to spot the frame snatch. It might seem she's asking an innocent question or expanding on your statement. That's why it's crucial to have an agenda behind every single text. Thinking "I'll answer her question and then we'll get back to discussing the time and place of our date" isn't going to work. If you suspect she's derailing the conversation - you know what to do. Don't answer her.

 

Lessons learned:

  • You can learn from the past. Just keep the damn messages and review them from time to time.
  • Always think in terms of what you want her to reply.
  • Don't text her without purpose.
  • Don't reply if you don't know what to say.
  • Don't let her drive the conversation.

 

If you think that can help you with your texting imagine what reading my daygame blog can do to your game. You'll also find there the full version of this post.