Summary: Girl has perfect boyfriend but isn't attracted to him, spends all of her time fantasizing about Chad instead. Cannot come to terms with the level of cognitive dissonance she's feeling.

Thread: http://archive.is/hI4nQ

Sometimes I find something so good on the relationshits reddit that I just can't contain myself. This was one of those times. There isn't much of a lesson here, it's mostly for entertainment purposes. I'll have something at the end though.

I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and I'm very happy with him! It's a very compassionate and emotional relationship and he is the person I have been the closest with in terms of emotional connection. I absolutely adore him and I am very positive it's exactly the other way around too!

He sounds great! She found someone who adores her, who is compassionate and very close with her emotionally, moreso than any other guy she's been with. But theres a problem...

That's why it kind of hurts me that I miss my ex boyfriend in a physical and sexual way very much. So much that it actually hurts my current sex life. My ex is basically the complete opposite of my current boyfriend - he was very manipulative and lied a lot and was a generally bad person to be around, which is why we only dated for about two and a half months. I was drawn to him so much because he was incredibly handsome and because he was by far the best lover I ever had. That was basically the only thing that kept me long enough with him.

I see. He sounds like Chad a bit, doesn't he? He manipulates her, lies to her and is an awful person to be with, and she only could take it for 2.5 months before she had to end it with him. But he was way ahead of her in terms of SMV, and she had to keep riding him as long as she could because she probably wouldn't get another chance like this.

I sometimes also masturbate, thinking about my ex boyfriend and am more likely to get an orgasm than through sex with my current bf. This makes me feel very bad, and sometimes I also cry after it because it's kind of pathetic.

It is kind of pathetic, isn't it? Staying so focused on how great Chad was in the sack, fantasizing about the things you did with him that you had never let another man do to you? Kevin is a great guy and he sometimes gets you off, but even the thought of Chad taking her to Thunder Mountain is a bigger turn-on than anything Kevin could do for her sexually.

There are some physical parts of my ex that my current bf can't change about him but if he could change the way we have sex a bit like I had it with my ex it could potentially become even better and those feelings would go away.

Hmmm, some physical parts of her ex that her current bf can't change about him. I wonder what that could be...

My ex boyfriends penis is significantly larger but that's just one part of the whole experience, I don't believe it just relates to that.

Maybe that had something to do with it...

But I don't know how to tell him. Telling him to be more like my ex in that regard would hurt him because he knows him as well and dislikes him a whole lot personally.

So, Kevin knows who Chad is, he probably doesn't know he fucked his special snowflake but he hates him. Chad gets all the girls despite being an aloof, cocky asshole who treats women like garbage, instead of treating them the way that Kevin learned from watching TV and reading the relationships subreddit. Kevin works hard and barely has time for his video games at the end of the day, let alone playing sports and going to the gym to get abs like Chad. Girls don't like abs, they like men who do everything for them!

We all know what's going on here. Kevin treats her like a queen in every sense of the word, makes her feel like the only girl in the world (because she is the only girl in his world) and probably fucks her gently, asking for her consent to initiate. Kevin probably "makes love". It was probably refreshing for her the first couple of times but she got sick of riding the slow, repetitive Dumbo ride and wanted to get back onto the fast, furious and degrading rollercoaster ride that is Chad. She wants to get spit on, choked, thrown around the bedroom and get fucked in the ass by a man who is better than her and knows it.

It wasn't just his penis size. It was the general way he conducted himself which made him sexually attractive to me, plus his looks. He was just very self confident in the way he represented himself, he never had any doubts in himself and he completely took control sexually. I can't write but he just "filled me our". I don't know, I just liked that behavior in the bedroom a lot but not on a personal level. My boyfriend would have to make a 180 reversal to his personality to have sex this way.

Lessons learned: Be Chad. Be good looking, self confident, never doubt yourself and completely take control of your woman sexually. Chad never gave this woman anything aside from the best orgasms of her life, she found him to be a terrible match personality wise but couldn't get enough of him sexually. Now she'll spend the rest of her life pining for him while the men who are actually willing to commit to her get the scraps of whatever sexual energy she has left after she's done fucking herself. If you don't become the best man you can be, you'll just be getting Chad's scraps instead of being the best Chad she's been with.

Bonus points if you can guess which advice post is mine.