I've always been a "Nice Guy" at heart. I've pined after girls for months without saying a word to them, I've written songs, poetry, taken girlfriends on vacations, wined and dined, just about everything you can expect from a "good boyfriend". My sister, mother, and female friends rave about how I've treated the women in my life, always encouraging me to continue doing what I'm doing and one day I'll "find the perfect girl". This is just how women are, it's the way of the world. My blue-pill dad encourages it too, and honestly I can't blame him either cause he's one of the %.01 that it actually worked out for.

I started trying to date women by being nice for a very long time. One day I got fed up and turned 100% player by reading PUA literature. Started getting dates, started getting laid, started feeling like a real man. Then I met the woman I thought would be my wife. Unfortunately, after 5 years of me becoming more and more beta and having no idea why she kept on getting pushed further and further away, she did what any woman in her situation does. She cheated, lied, and ran away. The relationship burned to the ground, leaving me an empty shell of the vibrant, interesting man I was before I met her.

My relationships with women have all been exactly the same. I hooked them by being an asshole, but then I always slowly turned beta over the course of time cause I started to "fall in love". I was naive, I really thought that what women wanted was a guy who was an asshole on the surface, but a truly great person deep down. From the one-night stands to the 5-year LTR, every single woman began to lose interest the second I started turning beta. If this were a scientific experiment, its results are the most obvious and direct proof of TRP I've ever come across in my life.

Ladies and gentlemen, this beta camel's back is broken. The beta is gone…gone forever. I'm a voluntary celibate right now, monk mode all the way. Last week I went on 2 dates with 2 women, but I count those as a portion of my meditation. I am not attracted to these women, and I am using them to practice being uninterested in a woman so that she pursues me. Folks, I have my own orbiters now. This is not moral, it is not honest, and it is entirely manipulative. I will lie and give half-truths to these women so that their feelings aren't hurt, all the while knowing that they really want more deep down. I'm doing this so that when I begin dating women who I find attractive, they will get the exact same treatment. In due time with the proper effort, I will be back where I was many years ago, with women swarming around me and me not giving a single shit about any of them.

I want to date and sleep with attractive women. I will do what I need to do to get there. I don't feel bad about it. I'm doing the exact same thing to other people that I complained about women doing to me FOR YEARS. I am a hypocrite, through and through. But you know what? That's life. Sex is not about honesty, it's not about morality, it's not about anything except sex itself. It doesn't "mean" anything, and it doesn't "connect" anyone together any more than any activity does. It's fucked up, it's backwards, and it doesn't make any sense, but IT'S THE TRUTH. Yes, right now I - like all my fellow readers - am nursing the wounds that truth has left on me.

I have one life. I'm going to live it for myself, doing all the things that I want to do. I'm not pursuing women out of "love" or "faith" or anything beyond sexual pleasure. I would like to have sex along with a deep connection, but that's not something anyone can count on. We men are good at picking a task, and following through with the steps to achieve it. Every shred of blue-pill in me has died, and I'm not mourning it for a second. I'm going to do what it takes to put my interests above all else, date and sleep with attractive women, and enjoy my life. It is possible, and it is what I will set out to get.

Swallow the red pill. It's bitter, it's shocking, and it can take a very long time to get rid of the poison you've been fed. But it works. You have a choice in life, so choose a life that's under your control.