I've been experiencing the desperation attitude from the other side and I see what a turnoff it is. Don't be desperate. Be aloof with an abundant attitude. Have no attachment to the outcome. Don't convey neediness. It would be cool if she joined you, but it's also cool if she doesn't. Seem like she always has to sense she needs to work a little bit to win you over.

As you all know womens beauty has a shelf life and they are up against the clock when it comes to locking down a guy. The Wall is a great equalizer and once they are introduced to it, the power balance shifts for good. So I'm 41 and decided to get back out there so to speak, check out what's out there. I'm no social animal, hate the bar scene, etc., so sites like POF or the like let me see what's available without putting in too much effort.

Let me tell you, women in this age group are DESPERATE for a guy their own age. And that desperation does come across. So now I can see why desperation is not attractive in the least bit. The usual available pool of women in this age group? 90% not fitness minded, short-haired, former smokers, divorced at least once, have a big bag of needs, and are bitter, bitchy and entitled. The other 10% haystack needles? Well-preserved, nice long hair, fitness minded, have remnants of their girly, playful fun attitudes, they're not desperate, have a full life and great attitude...but are basically high-maintenance and require a doctor's salary to be able to afford them. My sneaking suspicion about this 10% is that the latent raging bitch inside is just waiting to rear its ugly head after vows are exchanged.

So, the moral of the story: do not be desperate! There's a reason it is a turnoff.