I'm going to give you guys a lesson here thanks to my serious fuckup this past week.

So here's the background: I haven't had a LTR in about 2.5 years. This is 95% by choice. This meant that this summer, I was really pushing my Tinder game to see what came of it. It was going pretty well, about 400 matches over 2 months. At the same time, I was working out a lot to rehab an injury. I was doing a lot to work on myself.

Eventually, I matched with this girl. She was a model, very pretty, I was definitely attracted to her. I'm a good looking guy and she actually messaged me first, saying how good looking she thought I was. She was a little distance away so I wasn't really planning to hookup but we really started to hit it off, a lot in common, similar musical tastes, all that bullshit. Eventually, we exchanged numbers and decided to meet up.

We hit it off even more, I was really liking this girl, she was saying I was perfect for her. Here is where I started to go wrong. I know how to game a woman and how to use RP to my advantage, I've done it before. Problem was, I had a bit of a crush on this chick. I really fucking liked her so I thought "Shit, we both clearly have some chemistry, I should just keep doing this, should be easy." Big mistake and let me tell you why:

I jumped right into being emotionally invested in this girl. Like I said, I had been single because I really didn't find anyone who was good-looking enough, strong enough personality, and who I actually enjoyed being around. Some had parts of the equation but really, this was the only girl who had all of them. I felt like I couldn't help myself, I was pining for her and her attention. It made me feel wanted but at the same time, it made me feel like a little bitch.

We met up several more times over the next couple weeks and things seemed great because I was being a beta turd. Don't get me wrong, I didn't pay a cent towards this girl, I made her drive to me, I wasn't providing her with anything. However, I was treating her like the unicorn she was to me and opening the door to my fortress, so to speak.

This all really blew up in my face this past week. The girl was offered a modeling job overseas, it was very, very sudden, like leave the same day kind of sudden. And I was devastated. She even said, I was the thing keeping her from accepting it immediately but, in the end, she decided to go. I was fucking crushed like a little bitch. I couldn't stop thinking about her, how much I wanted this to work out. I kept saying shit like how we have to try it again when she comes home and all that. And fuck, she was on the same page as me, at least in words and that only fueled my emotional train wreck.

At the very least, I was smart enough to tell her I didn't want to be in contact overseas and that I wasn't going to wait for her. I sort of hinted that I would be banging other chicks in the meantime. She agreed, told me she didn't to stop me from "having my fun" Still, I'd much rather this girl stick around and be with me so I'm not very happy. I was going through these cycles of being at peace with it then dropping to complete despair. I'm not an emotional guy normally, I get called a rock or a robot but I didn't know how to handle all this. In stifling my emotions, I had forgotten how to deal with them. So instead I started drinking copious amounts of alcohol.

Finally, I had to actually say goodbye and it hurt a lot. I drank myself stupid that night. When I woke up in the morning, I had a text saying she had panicked and come home. Like the fucking bitch I was, one of the first things I said was "Can I see you?"

Now, a couple days later, she has texted me sporadically, but it was like pulling nails to keep up a conversation. She claimed to have deleted her Facebook and snapchat but I know from my friend that she really just blocked me. And shes telling everyone on her Twitter that she "has a stalker." who I can only assume is me.

Guys, I've made a fucking fool of myself. I am a very attractive man, with a bachelors degree and coursework towards an MBA. I am entering a very competitive and high paying field. I have musical skills and a high-powered intelligence. And here I am, a worthless sack of shit because I got emotional about a woman. I can't sleep or eat, I have no energy to workout, I'm not interested in reading or video games or anything that might take my mind off it. And to top it off, I'm being disrespected and made a fool of on social media.

Don't get emotionally attached. You will only regret it. Even a woman who seems into you, who says you're perfect for her and exactly what she wants will turn on you. Please, please, please, don't get emotionally involved without a thorough length of time during which you figure out what the fuck you want from a woman and know she isn't bullshitting you. I'm sitting here like a child, feeling like crying at points, after spending a month with a girl. Its pathetic and I feel like shit and it's affecting everything about my life because I slipped back into my blue pill ways of old.

She texted me last night, asking what was wrong. I basically told her, I allowed her to get out of line and this isn't going to work out. Learn from me, let my extreme fuck up be a major lesson to all of. If you don't keep your emotions in check, you will turn into a little bitch.

EDIT: So, I wrote this all out a week ago when I was very angry and hurt. Since then, I've allowed my perspective to mature a bit. I took a fishing trip with a good friend, had a lot of time to sit and think. I listened to the Black Phillip show for about 15 hours while driving. Like I said, she had texted me as though things were normal but I nutted up and told her off. She told me to have a nice life and I didn't bother to respond. I couldn't resist checking out her ranting and raving and it is satisfying to see her bitching and moaning about how men are all the same. I'm actually excited to get back out there and maybe refill my cabinet of plates. This girl was bad news for me and its taken a little distance to see that.

I'm reading all the advice in here and trying to take it to heart. And yes, I have considered the fact that she was lying and I'm kind of on the fence. She seemed sincere and time differences lined up but other things don't know. If she was lying, I've at least got to give her credit for a deep investment in the con. In the end though, it doesn't really matter, my mistakes are on me so I'm going to focus on those for the time being.