Summary: The thread about Elon Musk really highlighted how many people around here don't understand the terms "alpha" and "beta." I'll try to shed some light on the subject, but you really have to read the body of the post. This is a core concept, so there's no condensing it into a few sentences.

Body:

I see a lot of misunderstanding here about what "alpha" and "beta" mean. As far as I can tell, that misunderstanding has been around as long as the manosphere has been using the terms. We can probably chalk it up to people just not reading, or just seeing terms they think they understand and running with that half-baked understanding, rather than diving in and trying to learn.

I see a lot of guys on TRP who equate "alpha" with "good" and "beta" with "bad." Maybe alpha to them is a family man, while beta is a loser somehow. Or maybe alpha is "doing things that are good for society" while beta is...I don't know, "bad." There's usually a subjective moralistic tinge to it, and not much nuance.

"Behaviors I personally approve of are alpha, and anything else is beta, and bad."

You have to take your ego out of the equation, remove yourself from it emotionally, and understand these things objectively if you want to really be able to apply them in your life and carry out your own sexual strategy. I italicized "your own" there, because every man has to choose his own path for his life and live his life on his own terms, regardless of what anyone else thinks. Not choosing is the same as choosing.

Now, while it's easy enough to just say "go read the sidebar" because people with this outlook obviously haven't, I thought it might be good to dive into exactly what "alpha" and "beta" are in the context of TRP and male sexual strategy.

The discussion starts with women's dualistic mating strategy. There's another misunderstood term. The word "strategy" makes it sound like women are consciously choosing to be this way (which I'm sure leads to a lot of the anger and rage porn around here), but they're not. It's biologically hardwired. It's just how they are. Being angry about that is like being angry that bears eat salmon. You just look ridiculous. Yeah, there's an anger phase to swallowing the pill, but you need to recognize that you're in it and work on getting through it.

It's important to understand that alpha and beta are not identities. You can't "be alpha," not really. Alpha and beta are behaviors and traits which appeal to different sides of the female mating strategy coin.

There are two sides to the female mating coin. On one side, she wants to fuck a guy with good genes. She (subconsciously!) wants good genes for her children, to give them the best chance of survival. This is the sexual attraction side.

On the other side, she wants a good husband/father/provider. She wants someone who can provide for and protect her and her children, to give them the best chance of survival. This is the emotional, bonding, nesting side.

On a primal level, the sexual attraction side is about the physical. We're talking about good genes here. But where the black pill people get tripped up is this: you can override her programming with behavior. Certain types of behavior override her programming to trigger her sexual attraction, because they're behaviors that she associates (on a deep, subconscious, evolutionary level) with good sexual partners. The manosphere has long since defined what kinds of behavior these are: cocky/funny, abundance mentality, confidence, outcome independence, preselection, displaying high value/social status, etc. These are alpha traits, because they appeal to the sexual attraction side of the coin.

I have a good friend who naturally embodies many of those traits, but is not good looking whatsoever (bald, skinnyfat, big nose, dresses like shit, goofy posture and walk, etc.), and he does very well sexually. I could never understand how he was so successful with women until I found TRP and learned how alpha traits and behaviors can trump appearance.

On the other hand, you have beta traits. Traits that indicate you'd make a good husband, father, provider. Being kind, having a high income, being supportive, loyal/monogamous, giving comfort. Where a lot of people on TRP get tripped up is this: these traits are not bad. They're simply not alpha traits, and they don't spark sexual desire. Sometimes they do the exact opposite, but that's not really an issue if you have your alpha traits dialed in as much as possible. The point is, these traits are tools to develop and use strategically.

It's extremely important to note that there's no discussion of morality above. There are simply alpha traits and behaviors which appeal to the sexual side of the coin, and beta traits and behavior which appeal to the provider side.

Most men, and certainly most men who find their way to TRP, display too many beta traits and not enough alpha. That's the root of your problems with women. You're not getting the sex you want because you're not appealing to the sexual side of her coin.

Now you can see why people claiming that, say, Elon Musk is alpha because he's rich or because he's accomplished are dead wrong. Wealth and accomplishment are often, but not always the purview of alpha men, and it's certainly good to be driven to accomplish those things if that's what you want for your life, but possessing those things does not make you "an alpha" in the context of sexual strategy (though you may be "the alpha" at work, that is not the same thing as "being alpha" in a sexual context). In fact, relying on your wealth and accomplishment to attract women is the definition of beta game. You're going to attract women who are into you for your resources because you're appealing to the provider/nesting/beta side of the coin.

Similarly, being a "family man" is not an alpha trait, by definition. No woman's pussy gets wet because some guy is a good father. She might be attracted to that man, but it's not a sexual attraction unless he also displays sufficient alpha traits to appeal to the sexual side of her mating coin. Yes, one man can appeal to both sides: it's about proportion and degree.

So, TRP is about sexual strategy. Most modern men are taught (and believe) that beta traits are most desirable to women. They are desirable, but only to the nesting side of her coin. And we've been taught to conflate sex with relationships. Those two go hand in hand: it makes "sense" that beta traits are more desirable to women if you don't see the difference between sex and a relationship.

But that teaching is generally at odds with male sexual strategy. Men want sex. Some men also want to raise families and be good husbands and fathers, but it's a rare, sick man who doesn't want sex.

Given all that, it makes sense for most men (and certainly most men who find their way to TRP) to develop and emphasize alpha traits and learn to control beta traits as part of their sexual strategy.

I said control, not eliminate.

If you want any sort of LTR, you're going to have to judiciously display beta traits. Keep the alpha high in order to keep sexual attraction high, and use beta as needed. In an LTR you'll have comfort tests, and it's beta behavior (but not a negative thing!) to strategically give her comfort. If you can successfully manage this, and your goal is to have an LTR, raise a family, etc., you will be the proverbial perfect catch. You appeal to both sides of the coin.

On the other hand, if your goal is to spin plates, live the playboy/bachelor life, bang a ton of women and get your numbers up well into the hundreds, then you're better off focusing on the alpha and not displaying beta traits so much.

The point is this: TRP is about sexual strategy. You choose your goals and use your knowledge of these and other TRP principles to build the kind of life that you want. But you have to understand the principles in order to incorporate them into your strategy.

Conclusion:

  • There are two sides of the female mating coin: sexual and nesting. This is natural and biological, not a choice.
  • In men, alpha traits appeal to the sexual side of the coin, while beta traits appeal to the nesting side.
  • You must learn to use alpha and beta traits judiciously in order to carry out your own sexual strategy and build the kind of life you want.
  • You have to understand TRP principles objectively, devoid of any ego and moralism, if you want to use them effectively.