Which is more important?

I think it's safe to say that everyone has a need to belong, and have people in their life they can trust and rely on. People don't tend to do well on their own and loneliness can drive a man or woman into deep despair.

By the same token, every person has sexual needs. Most people find sex and orgasm to be one of, if not simply the best part of life. Furthermore, masturbation simply will not do. We need the real thing.

I would consider both emotional and sexual needs to be nearly at the same level. They are essential to our well being. A step above food shelter and water.

The issue seems to be that the things that make a person sexually desirable are not the same things that make a person trustworthy. In fact, sometimes they are complete opposites.

For instance, people will often tell men to be aloof, or mysterious in order to attract women. They will recommend a man be stoic and keep his feelings to himself, especially if they are negative. They will say that the person who cares less in a relationship is the one who has the power.

These are the type of characteristics that excite both men and women and are considered attractive. We both seem to like the challenge.

Trust and loyalty is based on entirely different traits. In order to be trustworthy, a person has to be open and honest. They shouldn't be ashamed to express their fears or worries. They often have to swallow their pride and make sacrifices for their partner. You have to be selfless, not selfish.

Personally, I think emotional needs are more important to a persons well being. I can walk down the street any given day and find plenty of women that give me a boner. It's really not that difficult. However, to find that girl who gives me a boner and shares the same values as I do might be a one in a million catch.

What has been pointed out to me before by the wise poster known as /u/pembayliss is that sexual attraction must be established first for a relationship to occur. If you can't excite a person sexually, then there is no chance if a romantic relationship forming. You will simply be stuck in the friend zone.