Every married man should read this.

Cypher211 · 2015-02-07T18:59:02+00:00

I've read this story before but it's a fantastic read in my opinion and if there's a chance some people on here haven't seen it then it's definitely worth reposting it.

I haven't read it before with the added commentary, however, and although a lot of it is good I must say I disagree with the closing comments.

You should have walked. If you have the financial wherewithal, always walk. I have.

A several year relationship with a woman you have 3 children with should not be taken so lightly. Was she out of order with the way she acted with him? I'd say partially. In my opinion she had a point when she asked him to cool it for a few days (something that the husband from the original story agreed with) however I feel like she approached it the wrong way (flipping out and acting bitchy). Is this single mistake reason enough to walk away from such an established long-term relationship?

Now, there’s a bunch of Red Pill girls all atwitter about this post. It seems to reinforce their assumptions that with the right amount of supposed female Red Pill behavior they can keep their men.

I hate to be the one to say it first but here’s the real deal: We are going to get tired of you sooner rather than later and if you have a Red Pill man, it’s going to be sooner.

So no woman is ever worth staying with? No matter how good a person she is, no matter what she does with you, it's game over after a few years? I think this sends a wrong message - if you find a woman worth staying with then you should absolutely stay with her. Abandoning a good woman after maybe a few bad patches or simply after she ages is to be honest a very poor decision and an unfair one.

If I found a genuinely RP woman I would not be jumping ship after a few years "just because". If you're expecting a marriage without any flaws or issues whatsoever then you are not a person who should be getting married in the first place.

The original story is more about the concept of "wife-goggles". I'm not a Christian but someone once told me a quote from the Bible (?) in relation to this story which went along the lines of "Do not abandon the wife of your youth". I've probably butchered the quote but the take-away message from it was that if a woman has stayed loyal to you and married you and stuck with you throughout the years then you should not abandon her once she starts getting older and loses her youthful attributes. I feel like the quote is definitely in line with the views of TRP and it's something that everyone who is looking at marriage as an option should take on board.

TRP condemns women who party their youth and best years away, slutting it up with multiple partners before settling with someone she doesn't truly respect or connect to on a sexual/emotional level. It does not necessarily condemn the actions of the wife from the story.

vandaalen · 2015-02-07T20:14:35+00:00

Guys i'm reading all this and thinking to myself what on earth?? The one thing i never understood about western culture is you have men and women who from the time they're 12-13 are screwing everything in their path. Then they get to 28, 29 as an average and decide wait now that my best years are behind me i will look for someone to marry. By now they've had many many failed relationships, huge emotional scars from these relationships and lastly an uncontrollable sexual appetite from having multiple/variant sexual flings. so now they're sitting here thinking ok now i will go find someone to have a life/family/marriage with and stay with that same person, have sex with only that one person for life???

How's that possible?? I'm sorry but western culture makes absolutely no sense, is full of idiosyncrasies and quite basically doesn't know anything about marriage or family.

Moldy_Gecko · 2015-02-08T12:25:58+00:00

I disagree with always walk. I have 2 daughters, but I want them to grow up RP. If I were to leave them with my wife that is less likely to happen.

TekkomanKingz · 2015-02-08T15:58:06+00:00

I get sex from my Japanese wife whenever I want it, however I want it. There isn't a "NO" in her vocabulary. Breakfast is ready every morning. She agreed to a prenup with little hesitation. There is no PMS. Why? Because I wouldn't have married her if she didn't make her own money, didn't have a stable hormonal profile and wasn't submissive to me. It's all about choices in the beginning gentlemen.

I didn't marry a member of America's finest cunt crew who grew up with an alcoholic or absentee Father. Some of you are so stuck on AWALT that you think that an LTR with a submissive Woman who doesn't give you shit she will eventually turn into a wilderbeast and show her true colors years later. Some of you have taken this to such an extreme you get into LTR or marriage with the wildest of cunts and believe over time she will be tamed and this is somehow better than getting a Woman who passed the following background checks:

Low partner count
Father in the home when she was young (healthy relationship)
Doesn't associate with the annoying cunt haggard nagg crew
Financially responsible
No prior children with another Man and mostly stable LTRs before you
ETC.

This is why AWALT is dangerous. Because it makes it seem like a black and white issue and you end up like this guy stuck with a certified cunt commander. I wouldn't put up with it in the beginning and I wouldn't put up with it before we had kids. Granted, I'm not interested in having kids, if I was, I would absolutely have ZERO TOLERANCE towards any defects or problems in the Woman who I risk my mental health and potential wealth for.

If she isn't a pure bred damsel FROM THE START (from good stock) then there will be no long-term commitment from me. When I met my Woman she had great legs, the sex was great she washed my clothes every time I came over and gave away her cat (I'm highly allergic and antihistamines only work for pollen for me, not dust or cat dander) once we decided to move in together. No games, no bullshit. I provided value for her and she did vice versa. After many talks we determined we were compatible and that was that.

Don't accept anything less. If you aren't her priority then she doesn't value you and proceeding any further is pointless. Keep her as a plate. Not rocket science. Enough with the PMS excuses and bullshit. Let those Women PMS themselves out the gene pool and stop replicating. DON'T STICK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY.

I don't care if my wife turns around 10 years from now and says "It was all an act". Because well at the end of that day that act only benefited me. Sure I will be hurt. But I won't be out hundreds of thousands of dollars in divorce rape (Partly because of pre-nup, partly because she earns plenty enough to sustain herself and has a clear track record of stable employment with a major institution) and I won't have any emotional scars from years of conflict or emotional bullying and abuse some of you guys put up with on the regular basis. I will enter the next phase of my life free and clear to pursue whatever next valuable Woman I come across (outside of America) with little to no baggage.

I don't put anything past any Woman including my Wife. But why put up with nagging, PMS and bullshit every week of your life? It's just not worth it.

RBuddDwyer · 2015-02-07T20:11:34+00:00

Ah yes, Dave Bowman over at the MMSL forums. One of the best posters there. Sadly, he never returned after Athol Kay gave him a three day ban. His departure was one of the signs the forums were going downhill.

I recommend everyone read his entire post history. This particular one is a good place to start.

UrsusG · 2015-02-07T19:08:40+00:00

Married guys delude themselves.

I held frame, kept my cool, showed outcome independence and took it like a man. She asked for me to cool it for a few days so I said “fine.”

Outcome independence is a logical fallacy. You are never outcome independent when you want something. Sure, you can 'take it like a man' and refrain from displaying butthurt, but you're still disappointed by not getting what you wanted.

True outcome independence is only possible when you really don't give a shit about something. But if you really don't give a shit about something, it doesn't even cross your mind. You don't ask for it, you don't make moves to get it.

This guy, he just got told "no", stuffed his dick between his legs, and didn't get his needs met for a few days.

iBrokeRSA · 2015-02-08T00:08:09+00:00

Lol, the idea that you can have "outcome independence" in a marriage is a joke. Outcome independence depends on your ability and willingness to walk away. How easy is that in a marriage? She has you by the balls and she knows it.

imeneo · 2015-02-07T19:49:40+00:00

Every day I delve deeper into The Red Pill, I find and convince myself of more reasons not to get married. When I understand women more, I reaffirm why I only use them for entertainment and sex. At this point, there's no way I would even seriously consider selling my soul to spend my entire life with one. Always have to be looking out for número uno.

cover20 · 2015-02-09T02:53:51+00:00

"Yes dude, she’s a dumpy aging wife. She just licked your asshole in the shower to keep you around because she knows that without you she’s going to have a household of kids to take care of herself with the money that she can extract from you but without the Daddy influence. Too bad he didn’t see it. ... You should have walked. If you have the financial wherewithal, always walk. I have."

What about the kids? I would not want to be redpill enough to abandon my children. If that's what redpill entails, I am out.

BrunoOh · 2015-02-08T13:44:32+00:00

She started things up in the shower. Hardcore. She started doing things to me that we have barely ever done before. Things that she said she never wanted to do. She did, happily, eagerly, lustfully. Told me things like “when I get like that don’t talk to me, just take me upstairs and rip my panties off and fuck me. Fuck me like a man. I promise no matter what I say I will love it.” Etc.

I hate to say it, but this sounds like a woman who knows her meal ticket is getting ready to bail and will do anything to keep him around. Unfortunately this poor sucker fell for it.

To be honest, I feel like this when I interact with most girls.

When I treat them nice, not "nice guy", but basic respect and such, I get nothing. I dial up my asshole game and they start falling in love with me. They get nervous when I'm around, they start seeking my attention and they try to isolate themselves with me.

I mean, I know why and how they do this, but it is such a turn off. I am nice, and you do not see me. I treat you like shit, and it makes you want me. Are you fucking serious?

sterlinghtsmi · 2015-02-08T01:04:17+00:00

A RP guy will stay with a RP girl forever if they are best friends first and stay that way and genuinely mentally and physically attracted to one-another. That is the secret to life long marriage. Best friends, respect, attraction = Life long lovers.

WeCantHaveFun · 2015-02-07T22:34:09+00:00

Every married man should plan and execute an exit strategy immediately.

DanG3 · 2015-02-08T10:58:37+00:00

I struggle with this every day; my wife and I even talk explicitly about it. Fundamentally, for me, it's not about sex (all that is down pat at his point, but no kids yet, so fingers crossed; though I've got my finger on the Nuclear Dread button and she knows it), it's about the level of self-interestedness that she shows. It's all, at the end of the day, about her and whatever babies we're going to have. Even her care for me is ultimately about her, since it's absent when it's not to her advantage.

If I was so nakedly self-interested and unconcerned about her well-being relative to mine, I would feel like a monster. And even when we talk about it, and even when I visibly see her trying to apply what we talked about, she just can't do it. It's like there's a part of her that is untouchable by argument. She acts like black is red even when I've proven to her and she's proven to herself that black is black.

So the big question is, why stay? I remember, I think it was Rickson or some other big time BJJ guy who said something like: "You think I didn't want to fuck a new girl every night? That I didn't want to have 100 gfs like all my friends? Sure I did, but I also wanted to focus on Jiu-jitsu." I think that having a good wife is a bit like that. She's still a woman, even if she is a good one, with all the limitations that come with femininity. But I want to have a family, focus on work, legacy, etc., etc., And wives are good for that, in addition to all the love stuff, which should go without saying; if you don't feel something like selfless love for the woman you want to marry you shouldn't do it. But they don't love like us. Most of them can't. Our love for them has to be truly selfless, because we aren't going to get it back as we give it. I think I'm long past the anger phase, but it's still sad. Have friends, have colleagues, maybe even have a mistress or two (since you can probably more clearly ascertain what qualities she wants you for), but your wife is, mostly, your intimate business partner not your soul mate.

Moldy_Gecko · 2015-02-08T11:56:22+00:00

I was browsing Dark Enlightenment today, (as many veteran TRPers do, but that's anther story)

Just curious why you said what you said in the ()?

sundaybrunch11 · 2015-02-08T16:27:06+00:00

Thank you for this! This is an eye-opener for me.

cover20 · 2015-02-09T03:30:13+00:00

From his MMSL article:

"I betad up way too much, basically had an emotional meltdown because of my past, and it did nothing but drive her away of course. When I started acting just like her she shut this down on her own, and for the past year this hasn’t been an issue."

This worked for me. Act just like her. Treat her as a roommate. The key word is "roommate", it gets rid of a lot of emotional investment. It doesn't encourage any rash mistakes. Frankly it makes you invulnerable to her bullshit.

(Imagine that she has a female roommate. She tries shit. The roommate just ignores it and lives her own life.)

Then she'll start acting like a wife. What you do from there depends on how things go and your judgment, but things improve.

Wildperson · 2015-02-08T06:52:18+00:00

Sex is beyond physical and marriage is beyond sex. If someone loses all interest in their wife because they witness the body begin to age, they're an asshole for making a long term commitment to her.

Enviromente · 2015-02-08T03:01:13+00:00

Wow... Never had the feeling of reading my own life...except I smoke ganja. ;)

Title	Every married man should read this.
Author	leftajar
Upvotes	127
Comments	90
Date	February 7, 2015 6:29 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2v416q/every_married_man_should_read_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/every-married-man-should-read-this.28880 https://theredarchive.com/post/28880

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