Eviction by restraining order

Testoste_RON · 2016-02-07T01:53:27+00:00

Man remember to control your temper at all times. The courts are waiting for you to lose it and then they will make your life even more hellish than it is now. I lost a house that I inherited, in a divorce and it is hell. All you can do is learn and move on. If you focus on what you lost and how unfair and evil it is you will either get mad and do something stupid or go insane. You must FOCUS ON WHAT THE SITUATION IS AND HOW YOU CAN IMPROVE IT AT THIS MOMENT! Focus on what you can control and learn how to forgive yourself. If I had not done this I would have been on the front page of the newspaper. I caught my wife blowing a guy in the church parking lot. The kicker is he went to high school with us and lived a mile away but I never knew. I had to decide that I would not let a whore destroy my life. Don't blame yourself blame her and focus on YOU. Thousands of us have been there and you can make it through this.

TVTestPattern · 2016-02-07T13:58:05+00:00

Ouch brother... really fucked up.

I'm on year number 7 of virtually the exact same situation myself... I'm 51. Same circumstance basically... bullshit restraining order, false accusations, all that jazz.

Here's what's coming...

1+ year drug and alcohol testing.
2+ years supervised visitation
Fake complaints to protective services
Endless no-shows/late arrival dropping your daughter for visits.
15+ years of mandatory financial support.

And that's if things go well for you...

Get whatever legal representation you can... won't matter in my experience. I hired the best legal I could afford... the fucking retainer was $20k. Made no difference whatsoever... she got everything she asked for and I got fucked.

Here's the painful thing man... if her booting you out has ruined you financially at 40, then the painful truth is... you could not afford to have a kid with this beast. I knew the risk when I had a kid later in life, but thought I could control the situation... I was wrong.

The difference is that although I pay out the nose for my lack of insight, doing so didn't crush me financially because I make enough to afford it. It's like any financial decision... I'd love to buy a Ferrari and a giant fancy house, but I simply can't afford those things... so I don't do it.

The reality is that nobody in your situation gives a flying fuck about you man, except for you... and us I guess. The judge won't care, and neither will the lawyers or anyone else. The only thing these vultures will be concerned about is getting paid. Guess who is on the hook for that?

These people are going to leverage your love and concern for your daughter to extract every fucking dime out of you they can, and will have zero remorse for how that affects you.

So, what's the solution?

Same solution as everything else... more money.

If you can't find a way to earn enough to pay for the extortion the judge will order and afford a life for yourself then you're in trouble man. These people will absolutely not care about you, even if it makes you homeless... and they will jail you if you fail to pay.

I feel terrible for you... good luck.

MattyAnon · 2016-02-07T04:38:55+00:00

My daughter my life everything taken all because she wanted out?

This is the end result of the Violence Against Women Act - women say they are afraid (no proof or reasonableness required), and men are evicted from their homes. Obviously the reverse would never happen. It sucks, and I'm sorry this has happened to you, just because women get bored every 3 years and because the nation's laws are totally female-biased.

I really want to fight for my daughter

You should. Going forward you have to be the PERFECT dad. Make a list now of everything you've ever done for your daughter. Do absolutely nothing wrong. Do not put a single foot out of place. And keep fighting.

have her poisoned by her mother and hate me

Risk you gotta take sadly.

Hateblade · 2016-02-07T03:04:50+00:00

Look for father's legal rights organizations in your area. They provide free and low-cost legal help for men just like you. I was pro se going into my divorce and they helped me write up a defense strategy for free the day of my SAPCR hearing. It worked just like they said it would. I got supervised visitation that I eventually transitioned into standard which was eventually finalized at the time of the divorce. I'm working on getting full custody.

Don't give up. There are many horror stories about men getting completely rail-roaded in family courts, and while much of that is true, a lot depends on you and how badly you are willing to fight it. If you go into court looking like a push-over then you will get ran right over. Hold your head up, get a game plan and act on it. Good luck.

Rathadin · 2016-02-07T06:12:06+00:00

AHAHA, and mother fuckers wonder why I will never get married.

The deck is stacked against you, friends.

FLFTW16 · 2016-02-07T16:15:25+00:00

Everyone says you need a lawyer. That would be easy if she didn't steal all my money.

Here's a mind blowing fact: money you have in the bank in fact ISN'T YOUR MONEY. That's money you gave to the bank. It's now their money, and they just keep a record of how much they owe you.

All red pill men need to learn about cryptocurrencies like bitcoin. You need full control over your resources or you can be quickly and easily dispossessed as OP has been. Now all your shit is HER shit and she will get goodies from the government to fuck you over.

RP_Ese · 2016-02-07T07:16:09+00:00

I suggest a videoblog diary, for your daughter. One she could see it, right as it is happening now.

neveragoodtime · 2016-02-07T05:34:00+00:00

This happened to me. Married almost 10 years, all she had to do was tell a judge she was afraid for her safety, no bruises, no accusations of abuse, only that she was afraid I might do something. Within a day police showed up at my house and have me 5 minutes to pack and leave my own home. I stayed in a hotel for two weeks waiting before I could speak to a judge. It was illegal for me to speak to my kids. That's how disposable men are to marriage 2.0.

TROs are almost entirely used by women. Are we surprised that they operate on the assumption of guilt and a lack of rights for the accused? Notice the similarities to false rape accusations? Female justice depends on social justice, which is why we see the SJWs coming out of feminism. Trials and evidence just get in the way of what they want.

TekkomanKingz · 2016-02-07T16:49:41+00:00

Your new life begins now. I'd recommend just distancing yourself as much as possible emotionally and completely detaching.

Contact Men's rights associations for legal help. Call the news and tell them your story and see if they will listen. Reach out to help from relatives, setup a GoFundMe and cover all the bases. It will be a stretch but who knows. Some guy who went through the same thing and is doing 10x better could see it, be local to your area and lend you a helping hand. Anything if just a couch to sleep on.

See who your real friends and family are by reaching out for help. A lot of the stuff you're experiencing is very common and unknown to Men who haven't had to brave the cold world after getting falsely accused of something. Proceed with the divorce immediately. You can't afford to have a Woman like this in your life. Distance yourself emotionally from your daughter and make sure to get a paternity test to make sure it's yours.

Dark times are ahead. I'm not gonna sugar coat it because my Dad went through something similar with my half-sister. You can either spend money you don't have or just focus on rebuilding your life without your family. It sucks but your daughter will have to hate you until she learns the truth. But eventually you can have the last laugh when she effectively disowns her mother. But you have to get support now and focus on your own health and well being.

GrandmasterHurricane · 2016-02-07T04:36:23+00:00

Damn dude, if you weren't 40 I'd tell you to forget about ever being in your daughter's live because your x-wife is armed with the flawed legal system and you can't win with no funds. Even if you beat this case, she'll use your daughter against you, it'll be a never ending cycle of torment. I'd tell you to go to court and agree that things have been escalating a bit at home but you never got violent or physical, agree for her to have full custody and disappear. That would send that bitch's hamster into overdrive since you're validating her fabricated reality. Then you'd disappear on her for good, driving her mad in the process.

I'm not experienced enough otherwise to give you more solid advise. Maybe if you told people (us) where the fuck you were we'd be able to point you to free and cheap resources.

Namkcalb · 2016-02-07T09:18:37+00:00

Please keep us updated about your hearing.

Fuck_shadow_bans · 2016-02-07T15:45:50+00:00

You REALLY need a lawyer. You can bet your ass she hired one to be at that hearing.

another_lease · 2016-02-08T04:16:26+00:00

Don't do anything without a lawyer. Ask the judge to get you a subsidized one. The law is so complicated, with so much jargon, you'll have trouble understanding it.

lmicro70 · 2016-02-13T08:55:17+00:00

Hey Brother. The same thing happened to me but worse. My daughter was about 10 months old at the time. Ex dropped the DV-bomb and had me taken from my home in the middle of the night with claims that I assaulted her with no bruises or marks. She used it to move our daughter 70 miles away to her parents. The bright side is that you're lucky because you were not arrested. It's hard to get out of the mess if you were arrested. I know first hand.

Keep in mind that in family court, your constitutional rights go out the window. You are now guilty until proven innocent. That's the Violence Against Women Act at it's best, spearheaded by Joe Biden.

-Get a family law attorney by recommendation from friends, family that have used one before and were happy with his/her services. This is very important since I've had two attorneys before I decided that I was better off representing myself (BTW: That's not a good idea for the weak at heart). The industry is filled with a lot of bad attorneys. Recommendations will help you avoid the rotten apples. Be ready to pay a hefty retainer. This is the time when you know who your friends really are.

-Never speak with Mom for anything. She will attempt to trap you. If she calls you, don't pick up. If she comes to you, don't open your door. Perhaps she'll offer you the ability to pick up your daughter. Once you give in and show up, she will have you arrested. If you need to communicate with her, have a third party do it if you don't have an attorney yet.

-Use a clip on body camera to do the pick ups and drop offs once they allow you visitation. You can get one from amazon. Or you can do the transfers at a police station.

-Ask to use "Our Family Wizard" which is an automated communication system to talk with Mom. Everything in OFW is logged for the court to see, if necessary. It keeps mom on her best behavior.

-From this point on your life will be put under a microscope. Don't do anything wrong. Remove your social media pages if you can or lock them down from prying eyes after booting off your ex and her family and friends. Friends will take sides. Your own family may not even believe you.

-Don't admit anything that cannot be corroborated. If no one saw it or there was no camera on you, it didn't happen. e.g. Mom says you grabbed her in the alleyway behind the house. Mom says you threw a mug. Even if you did do it but no one saw you, don't admit to it.

-Start thinking of what Mom is going to accuse you of doing and come up with ideas to counteract that. Start thinking of things mom has done to violate you. Pull emails, text messages if necessary.

-If mom has drug problems or psychological issues you may want to ask for a court appointed psychological evaluation, but they take forever. Avoid one if you can.

-It's going to take time money and effort but you will see your daughter again. The court will throw bullshit at you like your daughter is so young and she needs mom for her development. It's all bullshit. THere are kids in war torn countries that turn out healthy. If you have the ability to care for her and you have in the past, ask for equal parent time.

-Join a men's divorce support group on meetup. Friends and Family members don't want to hear you rant and rave about it all the time especially if they are married. Don't burden them too much with the weight of your issues. They may have a problem with it.

Email me if you need some advice. Unfortunately, I'm a seasoned pro at this.

naMlliPdeR · 2016-02-07T07:14:21+00:00

There are many things you could do to fix everything that nobody here will tell you to do :) Use your imagination.

Eugenics2015 · 2016-02-07T13:05:59+00:00

hahaha rekt. Your fault for getting married

abdada · 2016-02-07T01:18:33+00:00

I hear a lot of anger -- not just situational. Do you have anger management issues?

If so, get help. Go to a group. You won't be a good father if you have a short temper.

Title	Eviction by restraining order
Author	thegr8b8m8
Upvotes	34
Comments	50
Date	February 7, 2016 12:50 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/44j484/eviction_by_restraining_order/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/eviction-by-restraining-order.56021 https://theredarchive.com/post/56021

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