I posted this yesterday off mobile but it was not well-received so I'm trying again now that I've got more time to explain my experience.

TLDR: Non-needy persistence and holding frame when presented with uncommon open marriage situation allowed me to close with an HB10 (in my opinion) from Tinder.

Body: Often times on Tinder you'll match with what looks like (and usually is) a fake profile. Obviously everyone's ratings are subjective but imo this was a 10. We matched and I messaged with my go to opener: X, you're too fucking cute then I laughed it off waiting for the inevitable "go to my site and pay $1 to watch my cam ;)" message.

Instead I actually received no response.

6 days later I was bored and decided to try again. I had been scrolling through matches to see if I missed any cute girls and again this profile caught my eye. I usually will try a second message after some time has passed and it works maybe 50% of the time. This time I receive a response after using my other go to opener: Does this mean we're bf and gf now

Tinder convo ensues and I get the number. At this point I still think it's a fake or catfish or whatever but I was still curious.

It gets to a point during the brief conversation where I'm like, alright I need to know if I'm talking to a girl or not. I tell HB to take a pic of herself with my name written down. She does. But the pic even looked kind of sketchy. So I ask for one more but this time as a video. She agrees and sure enough, real girl.

Date I set up a date for the next day. Went over to her place. We talk on the couch for maybe 10 minutes before she tells me the situation: She has a husband, but it's an open marriage. They even have a live-in girlfriend together.

Here's the key: I maintained frame like never before. I acted very non-chalant and unaffected; as if I'd met dozens of women who have a husband and a girlfriend in a polygamous relationship. Clearly, I have never encountered this situation before. But my demeanor communicated strength, and this made her more comfortable and guaranteed the close for me. She actually verbalized this and said that most guys are intimidated by the open marriage.

A conversation on RP principles A bonus lesson for me came from my conversation with HB. We actually talked at length about Tinder and hookup culture etc., where I carefully laid out RP truths to convey a higher SMV than other men (another key reason I closed). This is a risky strategy but it works for me. If there's interest in this strategy I will make a separate post, let me know

Some takeaways from her responses:

  • Men are constantly telling her how pretty she is. She sees it as pathetic but still gives a polite response.
  • "Buying me a $5 drink is not worth 20 minutes of my time."
  • "Tinder is better for me than going out to a bar because I can't go up to every guy at the bar and talk to them whereas Tinder gives me a wide selection of guys to choose from instantly and I can make decisions on whether I'd be interested in talking to them more and I don't have to awkwardly leave a conversation if I'm no longer interested, I just block them."

Lesson Learned:

  • Persistence from a place of non-neediness (waited 6 days to try another Tinder message) works. Keep an abundance mentality. Pretend like the first message didn't even happen.
  • Sometimes those fake looking Tinder profiles are real!
  • In the face of unpredictable and unusual situations, act unphased and stoic. Pretend like you've been in that situation a million times.
  • Gorgeous women do not need to be told they're gorgeous. They know. Example: Referring to the earlier point about using RP in a conversation with HB to convey higher SMV, I stole a line from Jeffrey Gurian who is a guest on The Black Phillip Show where he tells girls "If I'm with you, you know you're gorgeous. Why would I waste my time on a girl I didn't find attractive? This worked very well.

Thank you for reading. Here's some screenshots of Tinder/text convos.

http://imgur.com/a/prEYK#5USFzvr (these are out of order but the first one starts with the "X, you're too fucking cute" line.