From an evolutionary perspective, why do we become infatuated with women (oneitis)?

richardnorth · 2014-05-29T16:10:39+00:00

Yep, evolutionary hard-wiring to pair bond. Improves outlook for progeny.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-05-29T16:48:37+00:00

Post-coital infusion of Oxytocin causes this response.

Pair bonding was critical to our species as you suggest because the woman is especially vulnerable when pregnant. If there were not a chemical way to enslave men to the feminine imperative our species would not have survived. Women would have been picked off in the jungle one at a time and the preggers would have made an especially tasty meal.

Today the effect has been magnified by media and every social institution and the fact there are not men's groups where young susceptible males can learn about the facts of life.

bestCallEver · 2014-05-29T22:00:27+00:00

As a guy who is constantly battling oneitis but thought he was finally defeating that demon, threads like this are a great reminder. I recently pursued a woman with alpha-style ease, progressed from being super casual acquaintances to some mild foreplay / heavy making out really quickly and completely under my own volition. Everything was going great until... she started getting all distant, completely out of the blue.

At first I was like "wtf?!". But then it hit me. I was starting to think of her with oneitis brain. And she could smell it. And I don't even WANT that with her, I just want to hook up and hang out once in a while. But my old habits were kicking in and I didn't even realize it. A little heavy petting and I was turning into a bitch! Luckily, I caught it fairly early and have taken actions to correct the situation ... but man, I couldn't believe I let it sneak up on me like that. Fucking scumbag brain!

FortunateBum · 2014-05-29T18:11:04+00:00

The best theory I've read for this goes back to our hunter/gatherer roots.

Imagine a tiny group of people living in the wilderness. You likely will never meet or know or definitely fuck anyone from outside the group.

It becomes intensely important that you mate with someone in the group. So you don't want to fuck it up.

You find the best, most suitable mate and pursue her until she relents (also, there probably aren't many options). You honestly have no other choice if you're going to reproduce.

50,000 years of that shit and now we all have oneitis.

dousche · 2014-05-29T16:08:10+00:00

Yep that's probably it.

But people are such pussies now days they get oneitis for bitches they have only masturbated to.

2014-05-29T19:57:07+00:00

of course. women can't take care of themselves for several months while they are pregnant, and it's beneficial for the next generation if men help take care of the mother and kids.

johnnight · 2014-05-29T21:53:26+00:00

Selfishness is rational. Apparently rational men did not leave much offspring. The men, who became irrational because of what we call love left more offspring. We descend from those men.

rumbledust · 2014-05-29T17:32:09+00:00

As a 19 year old incel, I think that I have insight into this.

It's because for guys without options, any girl we get fairly intimate with is our ticket to finally being cool, having sex, etc. We don't meet many girls, and if the stars align and we get intimate with one of them (even just kissing), we have no confidence that there will be someone else if she doesn't work out. Accordingly, we instinctually go all out to continue intimacy with this one girl, building a narrative of her perfection in our head as the conscious reason why we care so much (the unconscious reason being that we don't have any options).

'Dont screw this up because this might be the only girl I fuck for the next two years', basically.

I don't think there's much of an evolutionary basis for oneitis, since until recently a guy was either in an arranged marriage, raping women in foreign conquered cities/villages, or dying trying. Almost purely a response to social factors.

cashmoney_x · 2014-05-30T16:37:54+00:00

Scarcity plays a large role.

CruiseCruise · 2014-05-30T01:13:07+00:00

Maybe:

Some cavemen had a feeling of "caring" for women and babies that somehow felt like "their own." That feeling might have been the only motivation for protecting and caring for a woman and baby in that environment (what value do they have to the survival of the individual?).

The guys (and the groups) that had that feeling and followed it- those guys had more and healthier kids who then made more babies. And so that feeling wins. Now a lot of guys feel inclined to take care of others.

Now our environment is different, but we have these same instincts, and they get played out in all kinds of ways that seem like they don't make sense today.

lagspike · 2014-05-30T03:22:39+00:00

competition: we dont want other boys playing with our toys.

smellthenoise · 2014-05-30T02:25:01+00:00

I thought the argument was that we weren't evolved for it, culture taught us oneitis.

Title	From an evolutionary perspective, why do we become infatuated with women (oneitis)?
Author	trajanconquers89
Upvotes	40
Comments	47
Date	May 29, 2014 3:49 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/26slsr/from_an_evolutionary_perspective_why_do_we_become/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/from-an-evolutionary-perspective-why-do-we-become.16034 https://theredarchive.com/post/16034

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