Hi all,

So after a pasting in the comments section on another post I’m going to keep this one as brief as possible. As always, what’s written below is my opinion (backed up with experience, outside sources and conversations with other lads) and its existence & potential contradiction of things that you personally have had success with shouldn’t read as me suggesting you stop or that you’re wrong- you do you.

That being said I’d be fascinated to know how you all do it and whether any of the below is useful to a more seasoned hand, so let me know!

BTW - the guide below contains nothing about how you should carry out an approach or openers you might want to use - hopefully you saw my earlier post on better conversations and confidence - if not then there’s plenty on TRP that can help you with that and probably a lot more useful than what I could advise.

So…

  1. Cultivate a social vibe about yourself. This is important because if you approach a woman in the street and your aura/demeanour is one that you are simply there because she’s there then you will really struggle to get her to warm to you and it’s literally “putting her on the spot” and leaving her with no choice but to instantly reject or go along with you in that very moment.
  2. Think of a reason to be out so that you can nail number 1 properly!
  3. Re number 1: OUTSIDE/STREET/PARK – for this scenario you can do this by having open body language, taking a very slow amble through the city centre, stopping regularly to admire this or that shop-front or statue, parking yourself on a bench in a thoroughfare, sipping a drink, taking notes in a notepad, chit-chatting with other people and basically acting like you’re there because you want to be there and not because you’ve come out to sling game.

  4. Re number 1: INSIDE/CAFÉ/PUB – For position; You can plonk yourself at the bar, at a prominent table in the centre of the room (why not drag the other chairs out to make it look all the more inviting for others to join you?), or if it’s a nice day you might like to sit outside and give yourself the perfect opportunity to extend a cheeky drinks offer to a lovely young lady (works for bench too, go get a smoothie together, fuck it – get me one too). For behaviour; nonchalantly reading a book (without burying your head in it), taking slow, sweeping glances around the room and making subtle contact with people (little nods, soft greetings etc) and again adopting open body language. Honestly, just make it an easy transition for people to be either alone and then talking to you, or with a few friends and then talking to you.

  5. Before you work on your game you should get everything else you need to get done that day done. If you don’t, and you’re not experienced, you will be giving yourself excuses about why you shouldn’t do this or that approach or why it’s not a good idea with her right now. Plus, if you’ve dropped something important to come out instead, you’re probably going to be visibly tense, even if you don’t realise it. Wrap your stuff up first guys.

  6. So we’re outside, good, what’s the plan? If you nail the approach and she’s all about you then where are you heading and what will you talk about? I am not advocating a meticulous game-plan here, just a basic notion about how you will stage the interaction…because you want her to come home with you right?....

  7. …And when she gets there will your roommates be sat playing Xbox on the couch and gawping at the woman you’ve just walked in with? Will the place be a pigsty? Have you forgotten the basics like making your bed that morning? Now I’m assuming you’re not going to tumble through the door in a passionate frenzy and so she’s not going to be focussed only on you….let’s not give her a reason to change her mind about staying for a while. Live alone? Tidy up. Live with others? Tell them to expect company.

  8. You’re going to get nicely washed and dressed up (ironed and clean clothes) aren’t you? Good. I’ve written much about this on here and every other post I’ve seen concerns it so I’ll not re-invent the wheel here.

  9. APPROACH – my God man, approach. Quality over quantity but don’t not do it. Remember this is nothing new, nothing that scary, nothing that out of the ordinary and nothing that most girls who go out during the day will be unfamiliar with. The onus is on us men to do the approaching after all.

  10. Lastly guys if you need a tiny bit of warm-up before you hit the street or set up indoors, and this is a really cheap comment for me to make, try popping into a shop and getting a bit of a conversation going with the female staff – just to metaphorically dip your toe in the water.

  11. The point of all the above points is to gain something you might think of as “social momentum” because if a conversation with a women is a ‘sprint’ then it helps if you’re already jogging before you have to up the pace.

So that’s it! This is a beginner guide and I’m slanting it from the angle of someone that lives in a city, which I think is fair enough for TRP.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this, critiques and appreciation are met with equal welcome.

CAVEAT: St Patrick’s Day today so I’m hoping you’re all out having fun and not sat getting a headache on TRP. If this post gets a lot of hate – that’s that. But if it gets a lot of positive attention but it seems like a few people have missed it then I’ll post again on Monday 20/03.

EDIT: I still can't get Reddit to add more line breaks, I'm sorry for the wall of text guys.