TL;DR- In this post, I'm sharing my life experiences and realizations which helped me.

I used to have many conflicting voices in my head. A part of me wanted spirituality, and the other part was lusting for women, On one hand, I wanted to experience everything life has to offer, but on another hand, I wanted to escape from the life. I was falling apart.

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Consciously shatter your so-called self-image and kill the desire to be like by others:

I remember how awkward I used to be. One of my friends challenged me to ask a girl out I was interested in. She was with her classmates, around 10-12 girls. I approached her with full nervousness. One of my worst fear was to get embarrassed in front of others, AND that's what exactly happened. She laughed at me in front of everyone. It was seriously embarrassing. Isn't that many of you fear the most when you approach a girl? It was hard to digest what happened that day. Life will put you in a situation that you fear the most. Be ready!

I kept doing things that I thought could help me to overcome my issues. My failures taught me that I lack the courage to be Authentic. That's what changed me.

The main reason for my lack of confidence was to protect my so-called Self-image from getting hurt. It's bizarre why I was so protective about this Self-image? I'm not a public figure who should always be careful about how he presents himself to others. Yet I could never act naturally; there’s always something theatrical about what I say and do.

To overcome these issues, I deliberately began putting myself in uncomfortable situations. For instance, I used to scared of public speaking. I never talked in class discussions, but now I always look for the opportunity to speak. Whenever I feel self-conscious, I repeat this... "Let the ego die in front of others."

Our confidence goes down when we try to cover our true feelings. If you are afraid of public speaking, then own it, be open about it and DON"T REGRET. When you are in a group situation instead of making excuses for not engaging just openly admit that you are afraid without feeling ashamed. You will be surprised that by being open about things will make you more confident in the long run.

Gradually things changed. I was at a festival in Quebec City, and this girl accidentally hit me with a long balloon. I snatched her balloon and hit it on her head in a playful way. She was surprised by this. After we danced, and we were making out. I spent that night fucking her in her apartment. She paid for drinks and my bus ticket back to Montreal the next day. ;)

That day I learned, sometimes you should do things instinctively.

However, Being courageous isn't enough.

You also must be aware of other aspects of life and understand your true nature:

D you really consider yourself a 'good' person or pretending to be good because that's what you learn from society or from your parents? You need some serious introspection. Because the person who is genuinely kind, most likely not consciously trying to be 'kind.' His natural behavior is like that people consider him a good person.

You have noticed that usually weak pretend to be nice because they want others to be kind to them. Their niceness isn't genuine. That's why people say 'don't kill anyone,' not because they think it's immoral... No, because they scare to get killed. It's fear-based morality.

I used to hold grudges. Whoever wronged me I've broken his neck in my imagination. Luckily I didn't act on it, not because I was kind-hearted, because I was weak, and I was afraid to go to jail.

Gradually I understood We aren't very different from each other. you'll notice when you start understanding yourself more; you'll forgive people easily because you'll see your past self in them, and this forgiveness is genuine.

'The bad boy' get more sex than nice guys. We all know that. Because they are inlined with there true nature regardless of the consequences. And that's the key. Courage to show your true nature regardless of the consequences.

I had 3 ONEitis. All ended badly. There were two main reasons why it didn't work with those 3 girls;

  1. I was blue pilled who believed in Unicorn
  2. I was afraid to show my true nature.

Last year, I dated a Spanish girl and this time I didn't hold myself back. I was gentle with her like she is a delicate flower, and also treated her like a piece of meat. She loved it. I wasn't doing anything to please her, I was just being myself. That's it. I learned we have an animal inside.The thing is unleashing the beast within you and Have the courage to show your true self.

Try to broaden your interests:

For example, although I'm not into Astrology, but I learned it little bit. Women are generally interested in tarot, astrology, etc. even if they say they don't believe in it. I met one girl, she was already engaged and about to marry in 3 months. She said she doesn't believe in astrology, but when I started telling things about her based on her North Node, she was stunned. I fucked her within a week, and she was my plate for two months. I was in full beast mode with her.

Read Astrology of the soul. It's on the North node and south node.

If you are not interested, then don't force your self to learn just for women. I enjoy reading different kind of stuff.

Take responsibility of relations:

These days family relations are unstable. People feel more lonely than ever. It's okay to put yourself first. I firmly believe we should improve our self first then try to help others. However, it doesn't mean to isolate yourself from others, and only think about yourself.

I have a good relationship with my siblings, but I used to run away from my responsibilities. I never actively engaged in solving our family matters. This attitude negatively affected my relation with women life because everything is related.

Do your part. As a brother, as a son, or in any relationship take full responsibility. If you think your family members aren't dependable then at least you become reliable. Of course, It doesn't mean you let anyone take advantage of you. What I mean is to understand importance of family. There are many "wannabe saviors of the world" here but if you can't handle your relationships then how you gonna handle social issues? Fix your home first then try to fix your neighbourhood.

But there are others who just don't care. "IDGAF" This attitude we see a lot these days, but I think sometimes we take it too far. You will become irresponsible and immature if you don't understand the positive way of not giving a fuck. It doesn't mean you should be a jackass in a public place. People justify their stupidity with this attitude. Most of the time they are just insensitive towards others. Don't wrap up in your own world.

Living without expectations:

This advice has been overused now. It's rare if you find someone who is genuinely living without expectations. I'm not saying it's not possible, it IS possible. People often give this advice but you cannot force yourself for long to live without expectations because this state of being is the essence of your life experiences. It is a realization, not a behavior which can be learned.

It's okay to have expectations, and you will definitely get hurt if things go wrong. Accept it. That's fine. Don't create a contradiction in yourself.

These are the things I've learned till now. It's certainly not easy to push yourself when things are not working. I've failed many times miserably. You have to choose what you want. Do you want to be Courageous or be a Coward? If you choose the latter then Be a proud Coward, at least be honest about it, don't bitch if you won't get what you want.