How do you draw the line between spending time trying to get women and the rest of your life?

HumanSockPuppet · 2014-05-23T22:44:58+00:00

I'll tell you a story.

Years ago, there was a man and there was a woman.

He was a willful man, stubborn, naturally dominant, but neurotic and twisted in his head from having lived his youth surrounded by broken men, and without a father to show him what was what.

She was a kind, gentle girl of quiet deference, but with a sharp mind and a quick tongue when the situation warranted - but she was also burdened with guilt, and needed to attach herself to a man who was broken, so she could feel loved and valued by fixing him.

They met, and came to love each other very much. They were the finest pair of chemicals that chance could happen to mix.

But in accordance with their indoctrination, they were doomed to drift apart. A moment came when she had to leave. She did could not tell him to force her to stay without betraying what her nature demanded of her, and he could not bring himself to own and imprison her, even though that is exactly what she wanted. They were separated.

Without someone to work and sacrifice for, the man began to destroy himself slowly. Without someone to teach her responsibility, the girl allowed others to destroy her, all the while remaining convinced of her own innocence.

When they met again years later, the man saw what had become of the girl, and he wept for his failure.

But this was not the end of the man. Out of shame for what he had allowed the world to do to him (in the willful absence of his volition), he finally began confronting his daemons.

He worked out. He accepted the hard challenges that no one else would. He took up sports, and language lessons, and picked up his musical instruments again. And most importantly of all, he invested time in making friends, and in building the social circles which he had allowed to stagnate for all the years he'd given to his one woman, and later to his self-pity.

He hosted events at his humble home, and was in turn invited by his guests to their parties. He forged new friendships, and met new pretty girls.

When he looked in the mirror one day, quite unexpectedly, he suddenly noticed the transformation. It was more than just his body though. He could see it in his face, in his eyes. His soul was changed. And it wasn't simply a matter of how far he still had to go, but rather of how far he had come. It was while he reflected on this that the girl he had slept with the night before put her arms around him and giggled, feeling at his bare arms.

He realized that bedding this girl hadn't been the result of conscious game, or of dividing his time among the pursuits of wants and women. He was becoming the man that women wanted, and that he could have them simply by being available. He realized that women are a want; one which can be had wherever there are women to be found.

You don't have to treat women as a different kind of pursuit and sub-divide your time. Realize that getting laid often means acting opportunistically when there are women present. That's what it means to be bold and forward with your intentions. You've got far too much on your plate to be bothered with treating women like a separate resource. They are incidental.

Wolfwoodd · 2014-05-23T19:51:29+00:00

Maximize your time. Go out when you have other guys to go out with. You'll have more fun, more social proof, and you'll get more bang for your buck. Oh, and day game is easier than bar/club game. Get in the habit of talking to women when you're out doing other things. Talk to them for a few minutes, get their phone number, and then go about your day.

Spend 10 minutes a day doing online game. Just send out a volley of messages just to see what sticks. Push for a meet-up after the 2nd or 3rd message to avoid time wasters.

ADarkerNight · 2014-05-23T18:35:29+00:00

The manly thing to do is whatever you want to do.

You seem to have a solid grasp on the things you might want to do, now it is time to actually try those things out.

Feel like hitting the town on Thursday? Do it. Feel like staying in and laying down some new tracks? Do it. Feel like bringing musically inclined chicks back from the local bar to record the harmony? Do it.

The only thing that can make action unmanly is not taking it.

[deleted] · 2014-05-23T20:52:07+00:00

Live with social people. Find a good house share. This helped me big time. As long as you're relaxed they will become friends.

When you have social anxiety its a good idea to accept every invitation to do something.

I will admit I used counselling for 9 months, which may not be a very popular option here, but I had a traumatic youth and nobody to trust for support in a new city. If you need it get it.

Maybe try meetup, or things like that. Join a few clubs.

I was majorly socially awkward. After 1.5 years I'm completely better. I am still quiet sometimes, but comfortable and confident that way.

Be patient, overcoming socially anxiety will open lots of parts in your life. You have to attack it head on for a long time.

bicepsblastingstud · 2014-05-23T21:30:17+00:00

Do things in phases. Spend a lot of time going out, meeting new people, and defeat your social anxiety.

Once you've done that, reel it in a little bit and focus on building yourself up. Once you've accomplished some stuff, head back out into the world and meet new people.

Rinse and repeat.

Mikesapien · 2014-05-23T22:06:48+00:00

8 hours job.

8 hours sleep.

8 hours for everything else.

"Everything else" should include exactly that - everything else. Weigh your game against your hobbies, your fitness routine, other commitments, etc. You can either divide it up by day, by hour, or (the most common) a combination of both.

[deleted] · 2014-05-24T02:54:05+00:00

first you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the woman

[deleted] · 2014-05-24T03:25:10+00:00

The answer is in the question as is so often the case. To meet other guys to befriend start or join a band. To meet women to sleep with play gigs with said band. Now you're getting more of what you enjoy in less time.

__ROOSTER__ · 2014-05-24T17:16:54+00:00

In my experience once you spend 6-12 months learning you will never have to try to get laid again. You'll have a full roster and it's easy to add a girl every month or two as you lose one. And once you are getting it whenever you want picking up new girls it very easy.

needathrowawayplease · 2014-05-24T19:28:51+00:00

When you are new to a town or have a small social circle for whatever reason, you need to actively work to build those networks. So instead of going to a few bars solo, spend your spare time right now getting involved with 5 different organizations - a running club, a volunteer organization, a yoga class, hiking group, book club, whatever. If you got to 2-3 meetings and there's no young people or terrible gender ratio, quit it and join another (unless there are some cool guys your age you think you could see yourself becoming good friends with). Don't be afraid to be the one who asks people if they wanna hang out sometime. Just suggest getting a beer or going to a show or doing something. Be the guy who makes social events happen, even if its inviting two or three people you barely even know out and none of them know each other. There are just as many other people who wish they had more friends, and if you invite five of them out they'll all worship you for improving their social lives too.

The other thing is when you are building a social network from scratch you have to embrace rejection and expect it to happen the same way you do when cold approaching women. Making friends (especially making friends you have common interests or attitudes with) can be a number's game.

The reason this is a great thing to do first when you move somewhere is if it's tough when you pull girls or start spinning a plate or plates and you don't have anything to invite them to do with your friends.

It can be a red flag to girls if you are too much of a loner or you just sit around at home every night.

Of course, none of this is an excuse not to approach or ask women out in the meantime, but it should guide your priorities right now until you have a stronger social network.

itsmsbetty · 2014-05-23T18:39:03+00:00

Never try and get a women. If you're doing it right, women will try and get YOU. That's how you balance it.

You're 25, you don't NEED a lot of sex, and every year you get older, it will get easier and easier for you to get pussy, until you peak at ~35 when you can EASILY get pussy if you did every right right (career/lifting).

At least that's how I do it, but i'm only 20. I never go out and focus on getting women. I mostly don't even pay attention to women. If I decide that i'm going out to hang, it's to hang with my bros. And if we end up going to a party or something, sure i'll chill with some chicks and hit on them. But i'm never going to go out solely to look for a women. They're not that important.

Title	How do you draw the line between spending time trying to get women and the rest of your life?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	31
Date	May 23, 2014 6:27 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/26bfni/how_do_you_draw_the_line_between_spending_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-do-you-draw-the-line-between-spending-time.15751 https://theredarchive.com/post/15751

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