How to Win Friends and Influence People Like The Rock

Charismatic people have always interested me. I have wondered which characteristics make a person more or less charismatic. Someone who interested me was Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson (undoubtedly one of the most charismatic celebrities).

After re-reading one of my favourite books of all time ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie, I couldn’t help but notice some parallels between the principles outlined in the book and The Rocks actions. I decided to make a practical book summary/ social analysis to outline many of the principles and show you how The Rock uses them.

I have made a video with clips of The Rock for those that want to watch that.

ViIDEO BREAKDOWN

Now let’s get into these principles.

Principle 1: Don’t Criticize, Condemn or Complain

Now, this principle isn’t about allowing people to harass you, it’s about becoming more grounded during social interactions. People who are charismatic rarely complain or condemn other people. This is because these actions often bring down the energy of the room. Have you ever had a friend who always complained? After a while that shit gets annoying, doesn't it? Take the positive approach; don’t bring down the energy, instead elevate it and people will want to be around you more.

How The Rock Applies this

In the first clip, The Rock is bombarded by hundreds of fans who are trying to get his autograph. One fan, in particular, keeps insisting that The Rock pay attention to him repeatedly asking him to say “Hey Donna” to the camera. Obviously, in this case, the fan is being inconsiderate and doesn’t understand how suffocating his behavior is. Dwayne could have easily ignored him or insulted him, but that would have ruined the energy of the room. He instead obliges to the request while keeping his cool.

Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation

Human beings love appreciation. For many people, it is one of their highest needs in life. In the workplace financial rewards are often not enough to keep people motivated, what people often want is to be acknowledged. People want to feel valued. Charismatic people understand this all too well, this is why they give honest and sincere appreciation.

It doesn’t matter how small the action was that the other person did for you, a simple ‘thank you’ can influence their perception of you greatly. Sometimes we forget to show appreciation because we fail to understand the gravity of small honest gestures. Take the time to show appreciation to those you encounter and you will stand out.

How The Rock applies it:

If you follow The Rock’s social media you will notice that he is constantly giving thanks to his fans. It doesn’t matter how much money he has made, for him giving honest and sincere appreciation is incredibly important. This is part of the reason that he has been known as ‘The People’s Champ’.

Principle 4: Become genuinely interested in other people

Many people can’t focus on one thing for too long, they suck at conversations because they get distracted as soon as the notification bell pops up on their phones. Charismatic people are different; they are genuinely interested in other people. You don’t have to like everyone that you meet. You can, however, show some interest when you encounter them. Try to understand why they behave the way that they behave. Remember that every social interaction can teach you something about the world.

Principle 5: Smile

Is it really that hard to smile once in a while? Nope. However, it’s a simple tweak that makes a world of difference in how approachable you appear to be.

Principle 6: Be a Good Listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

This principle goes hand in hand with principle 4. Don’t be the person who cuts people off during conversations, take the opposite approach and allow them to speak. It is difficult to find a good listener in this world, so having this skill alone will make people love you. Don’t forget that people love to hear the sound of their own voice! Let them have it.

How The Rock uses: Principles 4, 5, and 6

In the video, there is a very good example of him using all of these principles during an interaction. Next time you watch someone charismatic, try and notice how engaged they are during conversations. You will see that many of them live by these principles.

Principle 12: If you are wrong admit it quickly and emphatically

Don’t get stuck in your ego! If you make a mistake own up to it and move on. There is nothing more shameful than a person who cannot admit their own mistakes. People that take responsibility for their mistakes are comfortable in their own skin. This is an admirable quality. Often times, people will respect you more for just owning up to it.

How The Rock uses it

In the video, Dwayne recounts a story of him aggravating a PE teacher during high school, (The teacher couldn’t do anything about it because Dwayne was 6’4 and 260lbs). He explains how he felt bad and personally apologized to the teacher the next day.

Principle 13: Begin in a friendly way

The beginning of a conversation sets the tone for the rest of it. It is important that you begin in a friendly way. Allow the other person to feel safe and to put down their guard. This is something that most charismatic people do; they make us feel as if we have known them our whole lives. The ability to do this requires you to also put down your guard when entering a social interaction; you can’t be too caught up in your head for this to work.

How The Rock uses it:

Despite his huge frame, The Rock does not come off as intimidating. He heavily uses ‘bro hugs’ when talking to people. If you watch the clip you can see that he incorporates a kinesthetic approach when talking to people. Dwayne often has his hands around peoples shoulders, and will not hesitate to touch you somehow during the conversation.This use of touch affects people on a subconscious level, without them knowing they will feel more attracted to him.

Principle 20: Dramatize your ideas

This principle most heavily relates to when you are telling a joke. If you are going to crack a joke, be all in it! Don’t half ass it. Many comedians understand this principle; look at Dave Chappelle, Kevin Hart, or Will Ferrell. When they tell a joke, they are not worrying about how stupid they look. Something is incredibly attractive about someone who can let loose and enjoy themselves. Think of a guy in the center of the dance floor dancing terribly, while everyone chants them on. It would be easy to call that person a loser, while you laugh and holding your drink leaning against the wall. However, deep down inside, you will envy that person for their ability to truly not give a fuck.

How The Rock uses it:

Part of the reason Dwayne is so popular is due to his ability to dramatize. People still call him ‘The Rock’, despite him not being active in wrestling. This is because he is pretty much still the same guy. His character was exaggerated for WWE, however, that charisma is truly his. You can tell from his interactions and the jokes that he cracks that he is someone who is comfortable in his own skin.

Be Charismatic

Ok that ends my post, I know it’s been long but I hope you learned something from it. If you haven’t already, make sure you check out the book ‘How to win friends and influence people’. I have only gone through a handful of the concepts explained in it. Now, remember, you don’t need to be The Rock to be charismatic. You can become more charismatic by incorporating some of the principles explained in this post. Good Luck