If you are anything like me, you know that going out to socialize with strangers (or to pick up chicks) in a venue can be either the best thing in the world or the worst thing in the world. One night you can be On Top Of The Fucking World and another night you could feel yourself wishing to retreat back to the womb from which you came.

After a bit of maturation and acclimatization to the nightclub environment, you should have figured out that getting into State, i.e. getting in the zone, having a good time, loosening up, letting go, becoming “un-stifled”, activating your brain’s Winner Effect, achieving this higher state of Being is predicated (almost) entirely on your own actions. This is the main lesson of the RSD of old: “Action is King”.

Okay. This is all well and good. But I have something deeper and more powerful.

Once upon a time, I would need to get a positive reaction in order to get into State because that was just how my green and naive brain worked at the time. The reason for my action taking was in order to get this positive reaction and if I didn’t get it, I would just be DRAINED from forcing myself so hard out of my natural introversion.

This is how I broke out of this unreliable vicious cycle. Now, I can talk to anyone and get into State.

You have to understand that State is a matter of “letting go”.

Letting go of what? Tension.

And with this bodily tension comes the flood of mental anguish, social anxiety, self judgment, and pessimism associated with being stifled and stuck in your head. For some, such my former self, this is your everyday life.

So here is how you can get into state anytime and anywhere...

Whenever I am speaking to someone, I place my focus into my body and into relaxing it so my brain can function properly.

When I walk around the world, I find myself creating unconscious tension. For example, when in the gym, I will unconsciously suck in my stomach so that my waist seems smaller. This is due to some ideal image in my brain I presume. It is not until I actively relax my body that I realize that I was unconsciously sucking in my gut. This is probably just the tip of the iceberg too. Anyways, I am confident this unnecessary somatic tension exists in your own body as well and is a dominating cause of your severe social anxiety and mental anguish. This tension is a sign that you are Trying Too Hard.

All you have to do to solve this habitual hell is take extensive alone time to meditate, be with yourself, and release the somatic tension in your body and become acquainted with that relaxed feeling. Then, once you’ve found it, try walking around with conscious focus on releasing that tension. Then try relaxing while speaking with others. You’ll see that different environments engender differing levels of stress in your body and will require differing levels of conscious relaxation. Eventually, as you practice this awareness, you will come to see that this physical tension was causing a lot of mental grief and inhibiting your natural social expressiveness. Every time you practice this active meditation, it will become easier and easier. This is how you enter the flow.

And with this newfound freedom, you will look up into the heavens and thank me for bestowing unto you this Actionable Advice.