I'm self-employed and I have to travel a few times a month to see clients. About 80% of the people I have to deal with are women. Here's what I have to face:

1). The names

I have a name. Nobody asks what it is. Instead here's what I get:

Sugar.

Darlin'.

Hon.

Sweetheart.

And my favorite: Babe.

 

Yes, that's right. I'm a grown man, and I have women half my age calling me Babe and other childlike names. It feels demeaning.

 

2). The looks

A very typical occurrence is this: I roll up and all of a sudden it's time for a smoke break, and it happens right outside the door where I parked my truck. So four women are standing around silently watching me, and nobody is in the office. I joke "who's answering the phones?" They say "the machine." And I get swolested as I lug my heavy shit into the building.

I'm outnumbered and hundreds of miles from home. I don't feel safe.

 

3). The clumsy come-ons

"How long you been on the road, darlin'? Ever get lonesome?" I've heard that more than once.

Or, there's this one woman who will ask "Whatchoo got for me today, babe?" Now, she knows what I'm there for, so I have to assume she is referring to something else when she asks "what I got". So creepy.

 

4). The pseudo-stalking

Once a woman asked me if I knew a particular semi-famous person. I said yes, I do, he lives about four blocks from me.

Then I realized that this woman, who I know has no business looking at the invoice, must have looked at it the month before, saw the town I live in, which is 400 miles away, then looked up a semi-famous person to ask me about.

I use a PO box, but now she knows where I live to a 4-block radius. So now, not only do I not feel safe on the road, I don't feel safe at home.

 

No, this wasn't a rant. But was there a point to the humble-brag?

You are a man; your future is almost certainly brighter than you think.

I'm not a super-handsome guy, in fact, I think I'm kind of funny looking. Crooked nose, not a real cut jaw, kind of jowly, but maybe a good brow. I guess I look like a cross between Clint Eastwood and Gomer Pyle. So that's not what women are attracted to in me.

What they are seeing is this: I'm fit, I have a decent haircut, I wear pressed shirts and cowboy boots. I have good posture. I smile.

Also, they see that I am confident and competent. In the context, I am an authority. I'm happy and in a good mood. I make their life better by what I do. I'm free, and it shows.

The common feature among those things:

all completely under your control, and not difficult to attain.

Maybe you are in college right now. Yeah, the competition might be stiff. But when you get out in the real world you will find that it is so fucking easy to get in the top percentile. And it just gets easier as you get older, because most men are slobs.

Eating real food isn't hard. Doing a minimal workout, or just playing some pickup basketball isn't unpleasant.

Stand up straight, have the confidence that comes with being the descendant of warriors, and go out and kick the world's ass.