IS being NICE actually BETA?

projectself · 2015-04-07T16:42:37+00:00

motivations trump actions.

If you are being nice from a perspective of trying to please someone because you want them to like you, or want something from them, yes it is very weak.

If you are being nice because you are secure in your positiion and can give value freely without the need of approval, then no, it's fine.

Something like 80% of communication is non-verbal. Your motivations will be sub-communicated through your vocal inflection and body language.

go read this, http://madamenoire.com/290330/14-gestures-we-wish-men-knew-are-just-creepy/

every single one of those things can be creepy, or they can be fine. In fact they can be quite attractive IF the right person is doing them. And how does that work? because if a needy person is doing them, it is unattractive and creepy. If a non-needy person is doing them, it is endearing and charming.

more about what you are than what you say.

bbidabbong · 2015-04-07T18:28:29+00:00

Here are few definitions of mine.

Nice = passive aggressive doormat. Give him a right chance and you will see how "nice" he is.

Polite = knowing some manners, and treating yourself and others with class. Also, including good body language and style (dressing, grooming) .

Assertive = is all about intelligence and intentions. You do not have to be strong, loud, and obnoxious to be assertive.

Jerk = idiot who is not polite, nice, and thinks that he is assertive because he is the loudest and most muscular in the room. Only people that submit to him are nice guys and girls if there is no Alphas in the room (polite, assertive, and muscular guys).

These are few homemade definitions. I am coming from Eastern Europe country, I was raised to be polite, and I find most Americas I have ever met ridiculously "jerky". No class, no manners.

Guy with a stronger frame and more politeness is a winner regardless of muscles. Two guys with equal frame and manners, the one with more muscles is more dominant.

Hope this helps.

cmiovino · 2015-04-07T16:54:20+00:00

Many times when being 'nice' we're supplicating to society's standards of being 'nice'. Basically, we're not doing what WE want, we're doing what society says is good to do.

So, you're not actually acting out your own will, not on your path, and aren't conveying your feelings. This is beta behavior.

If you want to be nice, it has to be 100% genuine and come from you. Problem is, we're not biologically built to be nice all the time. We're meant to be acting out our own primal selves of getting money, doing stuff, and procreating the human race... not 'being nice'.

MattyAnon · 2015-04-07T17:10:49+00:00

If you're nice, make sure you're also:

Sexual
Interesting
Set boundaries. Not a doormat.
Not supplicating.

flexiblehold · 2015-04-07T17:20:28+00:00

I run similarly, but I have to say, "nice" is a tricky word. "Nice" to a beta means "deferential, non-confrontational, passive," to an alpha it means "supportive while tough, gentle while firm, giving credit where it's due without heaping praise," it's just more subtle for alphas...

But you raise an important point, which is "don't be nice" does not mean "be cruel and mean."

turnballZ · 2015-04-07T16:33:23+00:00

If you're being "nice" to your detriment then that would be considered beta. You can be a nice guy , but nice is such a subjective term

Gunplayin · 2015-04-07T16:35:16+00:00

90% alpha nice- Cocky, witty, teasing, " your my little slut" etc. 10% beta nice- genuine compliments.

HeyZeus121 · 2015-04-07T17:22:15+00:00

Unselective kindness, ie being nice to everybody, is a sign of weakness. Being respectful is not the same as being nice. Only be nice to people who give you reason that they are worthy of it. Being respectful is more than sufficient for all others.

throwmeaway3399 · 2015-04-07T17:45:33+00:00

There is a difference between being "Nice" and being a doormat. Nothing wrong with being considerate, kind, polite, etc as long as you carry yourself in confident matter. Being a "nice guy" is going way beyond that, an emotional tampon, orbiting a girl, put everyone else's meaningless problems before your own basic needs etc. Be nice, don't be some girls tool.

CoachGordonBombayD5 · 2015-04-07T18:03:31+00:00

There's nothing Beta about being "Nice" if its actually genuine. What is Beta is putting on a phoney "nice" act to get a chick and pander to their needs. You can be a nice guy, and just not take any shit from anyone. Thats alpha without being a dick.

If you're being "nice" to someone for the lone reason of getting in their pants, its not genuine and its not really nice. Its an act, it's phoney (and usually pretty easy to spot)

Title	IS being NICE actually BETA?
Author	DPestWork
Upvotes	5
Comments	19
Date	April 7, 2015 4:30 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/31riaq/is_being_nice_actually_beta/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/is-being-nice-actually-beta.31100 https://theredarchive.com/post/31100

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