Is it even possible to change?

Demonspawn · 2014-01-02T01:18:00+00:00

Do I have to continually step out of my comfort zone?

Yes. And you will keep stepping out of yer comfort zone until you are finally comfortable in the place to where you keep stepping.

Atleticomadrid · 2014-01-02T00:56:23+00:00

Yes, they can be overcome.

Read the sidebar thoroughly along with "No More Mr Nice Guy" and "48 laws of power". Take the knowledge from 48 laws and apply it everyday.

Also /r/becomeaman is great for building a foundation and /r/AskTRP is great for general questions. Good luck and remember all of us have been beta a some point and most of us still have beta traits.

2014-01-02T01:41:26+00:00

Absolutely it is possible. I wish I'd discovered this knowledge as early as you have. You have lots of time to develop into the person you want to become.

Exposure to the things that make you anxious is the way to overcome that. However, if you're just anxious all the time for no reason, I'd recommend giving the Nootropics subreddit a look. Specifically, check out L-Theanine because it helps some people a lot with anxiety and doesn't have any real withdrawal, dependency, or side-effect issues involved like most anxiolytics do.

Some would consider this a crutch, but if your brain makeup causes you to be more prone to anxious thoughts than the average person, I don't see it that way.

Definitely don't fall into the trap of using excessive alcohol all the time to overcome this. It is a terrible solution. It might help you feel less anxious, but it will also fuck up your conversational abilities and you'll feel more anxious than normal anytime you're not drinking.

Edit: Also wanted to add that the whole scene kinda sucks at your age. Things will improve the older you get, so just keep working on yourself and practicing.

pcadrian · 2014-01-02T02:37:01+00:00

You sound like me, except I wasn't lifting. I assure you it's possible to change. Take it from a guy who couldn't even keep eye contact with people.

MightySurly · 2014-01-02T02:53:48+00:00

This is what happens when you remove gym class from school. Youngster's don't know that practice makes perfect.

Visualizing yourself succeeding will help path the way.

emptyform · 2014-01-02T02:31:24+00:00

Yeah man, absolutely. I started changing around 22 and am completely different internally now at 25. You're only 19, you have no idea how young that is.

2014-01-02T03:11:36+00:00

Your question is the first one we all ask ourselves before we get here.

You can (and very well should) read the entire sidebar, take it in, understand it, learn from it, and still not change. You need to want to change. I guarantee you aren't going to change immediately. It'll be like your experience with lifting.

You can, at most, put on 1 pound of muscle a week. So you need to take it slow. You need to evaluate your strengths (as you've pointed out, your intelligence is one of your strengths) and you must evaluate your weaknesses (social anxiety, confidence, and the way you perceive yourself are notable in your post). You can't knock it all out like you're studying for a mid-term. RP mentality isn't to be lightly taken.

Again, you need to want the change.

Wake up, man up, chin up, rack it up, tear shit up. Swallow the pill, my friend.

~Potato

classicjimmy · 2014-01-02T03:21:18+00:00

You are never to old for TRP, and if you’re determined to make a change, you will. Not everyone here is a “natural alpha”, I can tell you I sure as hell am not. Acting RP and doing well for yourself is a skill for most people, insofar as it has to be learned. You really need to internalize it, and practice it. Practice Practice Practice. You can sit by yourself, reading /r/theredpill, Return of Kings, The Rational Male, or any other source of RP litterature and even if you really understand it, there is no substitute to going to your local dive bar, your local coffee shop, or any other locale where you can pick up women. Talk to them. Get numbers. Get laid. While you’re doing that, reflect on what works and what doesn’t. You cannot do the same thing over and over again and expect different outcomes each time. Costantly take time to reflect, make changes, and try to truly understand what’s going on. I wish you all the best.

mrpoopistan · 2014-01-02T03:21:45+00:00

I have had a few "hookups" but they were all in drunken stupor at clubs or parties. I'm still a virgin.

I'm I so fucking old that work "hookup" no longer means sex? Fuuuuuuuck, I am sooooooo old. Get off my lawn.

Honestly? You sound like my one friend who's 22 years old. He was a skinny dude who had to go fucking insane to put on weight. And then he'd mindlessly nice guy his way through shit like a swol nice guy.

These days he's really good. The first thing he did was assemble a very good social circle. In fact, I know him through a family friend who functions as a bit of a fixer for people (in the touristy TV show sense of the term, not the Tarentino movie sense of the word) who basically took him on as a rebuilding project. Now that group of guys just rolls, raises hell, and lets women kind of come to them. If you're in good shape and you and your friends are having a good time, women will come to you.

(Disclaimer: I generally roll solo and kind of ping around like a free electron among social circles that I know when I'm out, but that's just how I'm comfortable -- I have to have an easy escape hatch when I socialize.)

jcslzr · 2014-01-02T18:08:33+00:00

As a former beta now I am 42, here is my 2 cents: 1. Meditate: this will make you more comfortable with yourself, it goes beyond getting the girl, is something basic in being all right. 2. Read Shakespeare: I would say it explains society, and you will see that fear is not wise.

DirtyCashIWantYou · 2014-01-02T01:52:53+00:00

You need to read some PUA stuff. My recommendation is Blueprint by Tyler Durden.

Title	Is it even possible to change?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	19
Date	January 2, 2014 12:35 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1u6y3g/is_it_even_possible_to_change/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/is-it-even-possible-to-change.9487 https://theredarchive.com/post/9487

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