Let's discuss frame: How do you deal with nagging/bitchy ltrs/gfs/plates?

nevva_Again · 2016-05-10T13:26:37+00:00

How do you deal with nagging/bitchy ltrs/gfs /plates?

Stop dealing with them.

Your attention and commitment are the only playing cards you've got, withdraw them.

MentORPHEUS · 2016-05-10T15:39:38+00:00

Don't feed the beast! Withdraw comfort, provisioning, and commitment until she shapes up or there is none left. Make her earn her way back to your good graces. If she doesn't learn from a few iterations of this, she never will, ESPECIALLY if you put a ring on.

For this type of conditioning to be effective, it must be immediate and certain after a misdeed of hers. Letting her slide some of the time negates several sanctioning episodes. A hard line attitude is necessary to prevent crappy behavior like this from escalating and entrenching.

The same woman will be bitchy to boyfriend A and compliant to boyfriend B according to the men's behavior.

UrsusG · 2016-05-10T12:11:51+00:00

Is my roommate acting in the most alpha way possible

The consensus here will most likely be that he should dump that bitch, but it's up to him. Maybe his DGAF levels are through the roof and he's truly unfazed.

Is it possible to train your LTR

It may be possible with a very young person, but it's never worth the effort.

If your LTR needs 'training' then you're with the wrong girl.

do we just have to accept

Never accept bitching. There are billions of women out there. Pick one that doesn't bitch, and if she starts bitching afterwards, dump her and get another.

What is the best way to respond to her nagging, and does the strategy differ for plates, gfs and LTRs?

Withdraw attention / affection / interest. If you're dating, ignore her for a while. If you're living together (bad deal, Jack) distance yourself.

Now, for some balance: you can tolerate bitching if it's occasional, like once a month or so. Cut her some slack when she's PMSing, some of them just really can't control themselves at the time.

Whatever she says, don't let it rustle your jimmies.

NightwingTRP · 2016-05-10T14:42:41+00:00

Is my roommate acting in the most alpha way possible, or could he have done something better?

By joking all the time he's providing no leadership. That's why she's still shit testing him. With plates you can walk off without needing to learn leadership or commanding (but it helps.) With LTRs, this is not a reasonable long term option.

Women are like children. If you LTR one, you've effectively just adopted a child with a plethora of physical and emotional needs that you have to cater to. One of these is providing her with direction... if she has no direction or idea of what she should be doing then she'll just do what comes naturally. Hence shit-testy and bitchy.

mordanus · 2016-05-10T16:19:58+00:00

The problem with your friend here is that there is absolutely no dread in the relationship. This cunt of his knows that he will sit there and take it. She can be the biggest bitch in the world to him and there is absolutely no consequence for her. I guarantee if he were to threaten to leave her or show her that he has other options she would cut this shit out immediately.

Is my roommate acting in the most alpha way possible

Not even close. He is showing her that he will tolerate disrespect because he needs her. This gives her the impression that she is the prize in this relationship. He needs more control and more options. If he doesn't do this then he will probably wed the bitch and be trapped and miserable.

Is it possible to train your LTR into never turning into a nagging bitch

If you can train a dog, you can train a human. Women aren't some mystical force that is beyond your understanding or control. Let a woman know that there is consequences for her actions and she will learn to control her actions.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2016-05-10T20:39:37+00:00

However, I always thought that if I'm ever going to commit to a LTR again, I want it to be with a girl who respects me and never acts bitchy towards me in any way. Is this achievable?

Fucking hell it is. Holding frame is key.

I hasd a girl friend like that. Used to get angry and lash just looking to hurt. First time I warned her. Second time I told her the third would be the last. The third I broke up with her on the spot. Begged for forgiveness after a week or two. Got back together for another year with no problems. A year later she became bitchy and insecure again. Three strike rule applied and now I am a gorgeous girlfriend that respects me and wanders around my personal space with silk gloves and utmost education. I'm too old for games

RealMcGonzo · 2016-05-10T13:36:14+00:00

Proper treatment keeps bitch/nag to a minimum, so yeah you can pull it off. Study up and practice, practice, practice. Don't get oneitis. My last LTR never dared to even raise her voice to me - 4+ years. Having said that, one chick's minimum is the next one's max. A strong predictor for bitch/nag - check her parents.

Il128 · 2016-05-10T14:10:58+00:00

Why would your boundaries be so low that you'd allow that negativity in your life?

yomo86 · 2016-05-10T15:14:38+00:00

My thoughts are nagging is a part of the LTR/plate game. There are different levels. Starting with sweet drooling over nagging about things in your own apartment to the level of disrespect. And my life is the totem pole. Disrespect me and you pack your things. Up to that level I guess it is just how much is a man willing to take, or his alphaness can endure.

p3n1x · 2016-05-10T16:54:34+00:00

and never acts bitchy towards me in any way. Is this achievable?

No, because you aren't perfect. Can you cater to her every whim? Is that achievable? Can you promise to never be "bitchy"?

You can't ask for something you can't give in return.

yummyluckycharms · 2016-05-10T19:58:26+00:00

Women will continue to shit test and complain till the day they die....and probably longer if they could engrave something on the tombstone. Ignore them, agree and amplify are the optimal routes until you moved too far along the betaization curve and you need to dump them

Plates, gf, and LTR will express their shit test differently but all are generally meant to lead in the same direction. In general, a woman will continue to pressure you to gain more commitment of time and resources from you while simultaneously they will shit test to probe for weakness. Which is why you see men will, despite putting a ring on it, the minute they display any sort of weakness, are instantly dumped.

Example:

Plate - DTR talk
GF - do you have what it takes for me to commit?
LTR - when are we going to get married?

myschadenfreude · 2016-05-10T14:19:35+00:00

Freeze them out until their attitude improves. Your attention, time, etc are not free commodities, if they don't turn around minor attitudes in a day or two or major attitudes in a couple of weeks then NEXT. If they keep getting negative often look at your behavior, are you causing or condoning this? If not NEXT.

They, or anyone else who is not your child, is entitled to your love. Do not give to those who don't deserve it, it lowers your worth since you appear to not care about your own value.

excesssound · 2016-05-10T16:03:59+00:00

What is the best strategy for dealing with that?

Personally, I wouldn't put up with it. Sex lasts, what, 2 hours from initiating/foreplay to finishing up?

Then you get to deal with her nagging for 4-5 hours? You paid $5 and got $2 in value, what kind of fucking deal is that?

verify_account · 2016-05-10T16:51:04+00:00

Feed them or take them for a walk.

TheGatherHunter · 2016-05-11T17:58:05+00:00

who is the most nagging/bitchy person I know.

Didn't have to write anything else. He should dump her.

TheRedStoic · 2016-05-16T13:28:13+00:00

Reality check- all bitching comes down to two basic intentions. The real question is, is she right? Or is your self respect so low you'll tolerate it.

1, she wants attention, maybe for confirmation, maybe for power, maybe because she's bored, maybe because she's honestly a pure bitch.
2, You're fucking up. You're not leading well, she's finding no direction from you, maybe you've missed comfort or failed too many shit tests.

So either trash it and set a boundary, or own your shit.

Note, either of the above can be done respectfully or disrespectfully, if anyone is disrespectful put them in line, girls especially, if they won't step, get rid of them.

[deleted] · 2016-05-10T14:22:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Let's discuss frame: How do you deal with nagging/bitchy ltrs/gfs/plates?
Author	Venenarium
Upvotes	21
Comments	43
Date	May 10, 2016 11:55 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4iou9s/lets_discuss_frame_how_do_you_deal_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/lets-discuss-frame-how-do-you-deal-with.58320 https://theredarchive.com/post/58320

Comments