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[–]Moldy_Gecko14 points15 points16 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
More or less, after my 9 year marriage, this is where I'm at, spinning plates, deflecting commitment. And I agree with the maintenance. I'm on every damn app as well as going out. The pool is very small where I live and I basically fuck tourists. Have 3 plates and 1 of them I will be getting rid of soon due to her wanting a LTR.
I first learned about this sub because I failed a shit test and /seduction led me here. I felt the same way about them having names for shit that I knew about, but didn't know how to explain. This place is gold.
[–]Howlgram 7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
You can live your life without LTRs and still be perfectly happy and fulfilled
Honestly this is the one thing that i feel most uncertain and afraid of, that i wont be able to be fully satisfied without an LTR. Perhaps i'll forget all about it once i start learning the game and experiencing abundance, but right now the TRP way feels pretty much like "what if I'm getting into something that in the end will just leave me dissatisfied with life"
[–]Plan_of_Action 12 points13 points14 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
What you need to learn is that you'll never be fully satisfied in an ltr. She (whoever she may be) will make certain of that. It's always best to live your life for yourself. If a girl perfectly fits your ltr mould then so be it, but it's unlikely to happen without settling, and in the case of settling... are you perfectly happy and fulfilled? No.
I learned the hard way. Everything was so close to perfect in my past ltr, but most of it was a lie. She was cheating the whole time. I should have let go long ago and I let her drag me down pretty far. I had what people call true love. We had about as deep a connection as most humans ever have. It still wasn't enough.
I feel nothing but freedom now. This is the life I choose. If I end up in an ltr later then so be it, but it will take damn near perfection, and even then I'll never give up my self like I have in the past. From now on it's just me, ltr or no.
[–]Howlgram 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
What you need to learn is that you'll never be fully satisfied in an ltr.
Yeah this is the other thing that I'm afraid of. I feel like it's a trick question "do you want an ltr or no?" because i do want one but chances are it'll never work out and if i choose not to want one i'll actually still want one so i never win. Only time will tell how true either of these options are, so by common reasoning i'm gonna go first with testing the safer option of deciding not to want an LTR. It's like the only way to learn is by suffering, the dangerous thing is that i still want an LTR and will probably fall for one once i feel like it's "meant to be", which usually leads to a short bliss and a most terrifying, prolonged comedown. But right now it's too premature to draw conclusions on how i'll fall for a LTR, scary nonetheless.
[–]Plan_of_Action 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Life in general involves a great deal of suffering. As insane and shitty as my last relationship was I'm still glad I experienced it. I've had enough ltr for a lifetime until someone can convince me otherwise and I think that's a powerful position to be in. I have experience and know with my gut what I want.
I would say that you should give an ltr a shot, but be strict and cautious. You could be one of the few who make it. As cliche as it sounds, you never know until you try, and really the only thing you have to fear is fear itself.
[–]Stythe2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'd ask yourself why it is you want an LTR. With my ex, I thought we had it made. Looking back, it was a joke. After enough time went by she bailed and fucked somebody else. Shes contacted me since, basically run the entire TRP gamut. I realized I had wanted a relationship because it looked like an end game. It was someone I could stop on my journey of life and say "this is far enough, I'm happy here" instead of continually having to keep going.
I think as men, so much is expected of us that we like to think having just one person who adores us will make the burden that much easier. In some ways that may be true. In the past it seemed to work. Nowa days though, this is a lost cause. It seems far more likely that an LTR would end in pain than succeed. You see it around you everywhere and yet we ignore it. It's almost like awknowledging it shows us how meaningless out existence is. To speak these thoughts in most places is to be ignored of not mocked. It's an incredibly painful realization, it's true suffering, and yet we know that everyone else just wants more, more, more and there's fuck all we can do about it.
I suppose in the end I've simply realized this if I'm going to be used as a resorce regardless of what I do, If much rather only have to worry about myself and what I want, then take care of an ungrateful woman and raise kids. Some may call that selfish. I'd call them hypocrites
[–]Howlgram 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is all too true.
I think as men, so much is expected of us that we like to think having just one person who adores us will make the burden that much easier.
This hits home so hard. You'd expect having someone that loves you for your character would be the one thing that you shouldn't work for and should just happen, and that at least that much joy will make the burden of everything else worth carrying.
[–]Endorsed ContributorMarsupian1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The solution is to always be content (while staying driven). Mindfulness meditation has made a big impact in my life.
I now always try to take a month each year with no sex at all. If anything it reminds me how good life can be without women. Once you are not afraid to be alone people lose power over you.
I now always try to take a month each year with no sex at all
damn, you have to try to not have sex, what im trying to do now is take at least a month of the year to have sex lmao
[–]2awalt_cupcake0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
had what people call true love. We had about as deep a connection as most humans ever have. It still wasn't enough.
This is the part that genuinely surprises me with women. I've left the same dock as you did. You'd think that they'd get a fucking clue about what's good for them. That if the guy they were seeing (us) has a chance with other women but we didn't choose to be man-whores, they shouldn't either and that what they have is a good thing. But I guess they had no choice. It's in their nature to cheat. And they turn 180 on your when it's over. Makes you think how were you so stupid but their act was PERFECT. Like, they deserve an oscar for their con-woman performance.
Couldn't they just say "I wanna fuck you and see other people too" 'cause I'd not commit so much and have fun too. But that's what they want. They lie to us to make us over-invest in their washed out pussy.
[–]idgaf-0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
After diving into mindfulness meditation and buddhist teachings I'm convinced that every path through life is happy and fulfilling. So long as you are here and awake for the present moment. You don't technically need this or that to be happy, you only think you do. The wanting (a form of greed) is one of the five hindrances that pulls us away from what is here and now.
[–]theultmatecad 20 points21 points22 points 10 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Guess what? All LTR s are temporary. Bitches are not loyal so act accordingly.
[–]TheMGhandi39 points40 points41 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
It's 2016, you can't call 'em bitches! Please don't refer to our female companions in such a derogatory manner because female dogs are a lot more loyal than women.
[–]Plan_of_Action 15 points16 points17 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I just blew an air horn in your honor.
[–]TheMGhandi0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You must share that clip you watched! Never thought I could wake up my neighbors doing something like that. Honestly, Saints fans really love Gumbo don't they?
[–]Plan_of_Action 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Dude. I've read your reply so many times. I still have no idea what any of it means. Lol
[–]TheMGhandi1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I just blew an airhorn in your honor.
Could mean you're a sports fan who has an airhorn or you blew the biggest load in history.
You must share that clip you watched.
Assuming your innuendo, I wanted to keep the ball rolling.
Never thought I could wake the neighbors up doing something like that.
Amazing solo session or you literally blew your airhorn and woke them up. Leaning more towards the innuendo.
Honestly, Saints fans really love Gumbo don't they?
I was defending dogs in my earlier comment, and since you're a 'sports fan', I connected those dots to keep the ball rolling.
[–]Plan_of_Action 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I just thought your diss was awesome. Like if you said it in public and I overheard, I'd yell "Oooooh!!" and play one of these.
Edit: second link is loud as shit.
[–]TheDreadPill2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Long term is not remaining term.
tfw no PTR 'P' as in permanent
[–]TheRavingRedditor 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Really resonated with me, even more than the original titled post, which did as well. Especially the getting over the "feeling weird" part. Not like an urge to do be beta, but an intellectual disconnect. Like saying I'm going to draw a 5 sided square and looking down at the paper and being baffled you actually did it. It doesnt make sense but every time you reassess the drawing , it's still a square.
It's like Neo 10 years after waking up still having occasional dreams at night that take place in his previous life. Just a little disorienting at most, but still never fully goes away.
[–]AndrewWaynePost 7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
HA! This is like a tale of two bachelors. Both of us starting on opposite sides of the LTR fence.
I must say, the commitment thing always seemed off to me. Even when I had that GF in high school, I cheated on her all the time and felt zero remorse. People used to give me so much shit, and all I could think was, "What? She knows what I am about. This is her fault."
There was another time shortly after I started college where a jumped the fence for a while. I was living in the dorms, and already made a couple of friends. A month after the semester started I had a plate, and was looking to get more (though I did not refer to them as plates at the time). As I walked off to meet up with another one, one my beta friends gave me a load of shit. I was incredulous. "What is wrong with this?" I thought, but I listened to him because he was a cool guy, and officially broke it off with plate 1 before pursuing plate 2. You know how that ended. Still, I gave the whole LTR thing a shot with a few others girls. But it felt so wrong, and I was awful at it.
Being in the military did not help either. Full of betas. Especially since I was an officer, I was one of the only single ones. Yet, I still managed to stay unattached. Not really by conscious choice, but because it just didn't seem right, work out, etc...
Fast forward a few years, and I was officially introduced to TRP. I could not believe it. The friend who introduced it to me said the only reason any of it clicked with him is remember me in college.
Now I know what the fuck is going on, what I always knew deep down, despite the constant thrum of the FI buzzing in the background. Now I keep to my guns, life is pretty grand, and I only see it getting better.
Anyways, great post. This was a fantastic addition as it covered points and perspectives I could not have.
[–]Howlgram 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How were you raised/how was your family like? Especially concerning the relationship between your parents
[–]metalhead47 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Struggling with this right now. I want to spin plates, but I always fall into relationship trap because it genuinely makes me feel happy. I'm just comin out of a 6 month relationship with a woman who is bipolar, so any bit of Cray Cray I could share already makes sense because she's literally got a mental disorder.
I think of the future a lot and I'm only 25, but I can't help but feel like I don't want to be alone when im old and want to have a family that will visit and care about me. I feel if I pursue the full TRP lifestyle I'll just end up sad and alone.
[–]1OneRedYear30 points31 points32 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You will always want what you don't have. I've had a family. I have a kid. I'm past my 30s. My married friends envy my singleness. I was the same way when I was like them. The difference is that now, I only live life for me and my daughter. I don't mind being alone. I pick up a girlfriend every now and then. When it becomes a hassle I let them go. I don't owe them anything and they don't owe me anything.
Will I end up dying alone? Sure. We all do. Nobody is going into the darkness with you. You might go in a car wreck tomorrow, miles away from everyone you know and love. You may go in a home surrounded by nurses. You may go surrounded by a loving family. You never know.
If you want a relationship, get one. If you don't don't. Do what makes you happy and stay true to who you are. But don't act out of fear. Act out of decisive thought. I will not get married. I will die alone. I don't have a problem with that. You might, so do what you will.
[–]RPmatrix2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
haha! So true
as is your usernym, today!
[–]mechman39 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel like I love myself to the level where I would only want to be alone when I die. Not to get too philosophical, but saying good bye to myself is something I want to do in privacy and serenity.
[–]War2kali6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
To each their own. This sub is full of bitter, angry men who will die alone. Not necessarily sad, as they have had more sexual fun in their lives than 200 married men combined, but they will die alone. You need to decide whether the potentially high sexual fun overrides the more common need for a stable family relationship, which has all its risks of failure. You could go for the stable family and it could blow up in your face and end up dying alone. One thing is for sure... if you're 25, give TRP a try and have some fun. If you tire of it, seek and find the "one," give her a try. Could work... could not... you won't know unless you try.
[–]Howlgram 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
This is exactly how I feel, my comment. You know what's wicked? Girls are afraid of committing at a young age, afraid of missing out on the fun that is getting drunk and ass fucked by a different Chad every other week. But us men, we are afraid of living unloved, not of missing out on degeneracy fun.
[–]2awalt_cupcake1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's a good point. We can "ration" our fun. And willingly make sacrifices in our life if it guarantees good for our mental, financial, etc. well being. Women can't ration fun. They go ape shit. And they end up having most mental problems. Can't make sacrifices or they feel "controlled". Well... kind of yeah. It's called self-discipline. Something they'll never comprehend or have to for that matter.
[–]Battle-Scars0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Men are not loved in the sense that you are talking about, that's a representation of "mothers love" and you will never find it in a relationship with a woman. Women love what you represent not who you are. It took me a long time to figure out the greatest love you will expierience is the love you give yourself. Can be a bit depressing knowing that but think of it in a Buddhist sense. You will never die alone because you will be with yourself and that is the only love you need.
: ( sadly i think you are right
[–]TRPMaidenSlayer0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hello fellow metalhead!
LTR crew here, but if/when this one ends, 3-6 month relationships is exactly what I'd probably end up doing (after going hog wild for a few months, that is). 6 months is perfect. End it right before they want to move in and all that.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, so do what makes you happy.
When I read all these threads about spinning plates and stuff, all I can think is, "Holy hell that's a lot of work and time spent". No matter which way you cut it, you're still spending a fuckload of resources on women. As an ambitious person, I would professionally suffer were I to do that.
But 3-6 months? That's not a "struggle" at all. Perfect sweet spot, IMHO. Rinse and repeat as you get better and better in life.
The fear of ending up sad and alone is ludicrous. And you can re-consider your choices when you're 50, if you still care.
[–]Rasalom72[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
parents are disraught that I haven't yet 'grown up' and knocked up a good girl to give them nephews.
You would be giving your parents grand children. Just FYI.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hey man, some people have unusual familial relationships.
[–]El_Diablito2 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Some family trees don't branch.
[–]AtlRP2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I wanted to protect that beautiful precious dream of a life that I still believed was as a fragile as a crystal sculpture.
When you remove pussy from the pedestal, you replace it with your own life.
Great post, OP.
[–]Nycredpilldad3 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Good read, this was my life for a good number of years before I knocked up a plate & went through beta hell trying to be a good family man.
I was happy living my life, spinning 5 plates for years on end. I wish TRP existed back then to warn me of oneitis, about how shitty single moms are & how divorce rape/losing your kids can destroy a mans frame.
[–]_the_shape_1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Never having a girlfriend does win you a reputation as a player, and my parents are disraught that I haven't yet 'grown up' and knocked up a good girl to give them grandchildren. In general, this isn't a lifestyle choice that you can flaunt, as people will give you equal parts of mistrust and envy for it. You have to be very private, which can kill some of the fun of it.
The funny thing is that the same people who cast disapproval on you for this sort of lifestyle will also use lines like "you can't make everyone happy", or "you have to do you" in respect to other areas of your life, like career choices or choosing to live in one city versus another. There you are allowed to say "fuck the world!" and do as you please, but in the dating game? Having great sex with multiple women and never committing to any one of them? Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Delicious showcase of cognitive dissonance.
It is true though - you will be seen as "the bad guy" if you live this sort of life. It will blow your mind to see how deeply it affects others what you do with your own life that has no direct bearing on them. I wonder if in their minds, spinning plates is something nearly on par with being a petty white-collar criminal, someone who, according to their view of the world, ruthlessly exploits the system for their personal gain - a snake, basically.
OP is spot on - do not showcase your conquests unless it is to other "players" or people you are certain will not get their panties in a bunch and ostracize you for behaving in such fashion (ex. redpill dad, grandfather). If they ask, either tell others you are too busy trying to accomplish something requiring loads of your time (ex. PhD, starting your own business on the side), meaning you have no time for something "serious", or lie and tell them you have a long-distance relationship with some chick somewhere far away (be prepared to have a backstory though, possibly even with pics). Personally, I suggest the former, as it's something most people will back down from pushing their disney-bullshit onto you ("Oh, of course, of course. Concentrate on getting that small business going and then you can be the perfect beta bucks.")
[–]Endorsed ContributorPopeman790 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I became pretty intolerant of drama. And as drama scales exponentially with hotness, my plates are invariably capped at HB8s
Same here. I've LTRed a few gorgeous women, but now I don't have the pacience to deal with their bullshit and I'm stuck fucking 6s and 7s that are grateful to have me. But I do remember fondly these gorgeous women.
The thing is, gorgeous women know their worth usually, and unless your SMV is off the chart they won't be plated -or will stay plated very shortly.
I still like my life as it is though. Variety makes me forget about lower quality.
[–]The-Battletoad 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've arrived at this point. Doesn't take any fear or bitterness, you've just got to realize that an LTR offers nothing that you can't get from a wide friend circle and some fuck buddies. Men will always fuck easy and without commitment, and good friends give the companionship that is desired.
[–]RedTheFuckUp0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Your journey sounds like what I'm starting and I'm excited for it however, do you have want kids? I'm not sure how I'm going to go about that in 5-8 years when I actually want something of a family, even if I don't ever actually get married.
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[–]Moldy_Gecko14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Howlgram 7 points8 points9 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Plan_of_Action 12 points13 points14 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Howlgram 2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Plan_of_Action 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Stythe2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Howlgram 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorMarsupian1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Howlgram 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]2awalt_cupcake0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]idgaf-0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]theultmatecad 20 points21 points22 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheMGhandi39 points40 points41 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Plan_of_Action 15 points16 points17 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheMGhandi0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Plan_of_Action 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheMGhandi1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Plan_of_Action 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheDreadPill2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Howlgram 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheRavingRedditor 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AndrewWaynePost 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Howlgram 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]metalhead47 points8 points9 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]1OneRedYear30 points31 points32 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RPmatrix2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mechman39 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]War2kali6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Howlgram 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]2awalt_cupcake1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Battle-Scars0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Howlgram 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TRPMaidenSlayer0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Rasalom72[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]El_Diablito2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]AtlRP2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nycredpilldad3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]_the_shape_1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorPopeman790 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]The-Battletoad 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RedTheFuckUp0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link