Greetings!

Recently entered a LTR, and three months in, she started acting bitchy. She started making biggest deals out of the smallest things, and stupid (light arguments) would ensue from silliest of topics. Stupid shit. On top of that, she also showed less affection and her tone conveyed a general lack of disrespect.

So I had two options:

  • 1) Cushion her with love and agree with her, telling her she’s right, apologizing...hell, maybe even do the dishes to make up for it.

  • 2) Not take her shit and my ground.

Well I did both. Can you guess what the reaction was with option #1?

It got worse, she disrespected me more, because she thought she could get away with it. She even began pushing me away more?

So I tried option #2. The next time she gave me a tone, or started an argument about stupid shit. I calmly told her that her tone/comment was inappropriate, uncalled for, and frankly disrespectful to the relationship. I told her communication would cease competely until she learned to communicate properly.

She kept talking and saying it was somehow my fault, but I ignored her, doing my own thing. She finally broke through and apologized profusely, showering me with love, and affection.

I wasn’t an asshole, or rude, or mean. I was calm, stoic, and respectful in my firm words to her. I was a man. Who stood his ground. Eventually, I got exactly what I wanted - by doing exactly what I wanted.

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A few days later she did the same thing. I quickly swatted her down respectfully and made her aware she was becoming hostile, and engaging in a silly argument. She fought back a little more this time. Clearly removing myself from the area wasn’t enough.

So I said “Since you haven’t changed your tone, I’m leaving”. I didn’t live with the chick, but I had some stuff I gathered up as if I was never coming back (like toothbrush).

She kept talking to me, insisting I was wrong as I packed to leave. I said nothing. She even encouraged me to leave, being indifferent. I opened the door and said bye, and that’s when she said “Stop! Don’t leave!” “Just please close the door!”.

She began to say how sorry she was and how wrong she was to speak to me this way. She knew she was wrong.

Always chose option #2. Not just for what you want, and standing up for yourself, but for your woman who needs a man and a leader, even when she herself doesn’t know what she’s doing. Be stoic, do not let her convince you that you’re wrong.

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TLDR LTR GF decided to be bitchy, cold, make stupid arguments, and disrespect me. When I gave her love/agreed/apologized, she stomped on me more. But when I stood my ground (by calmly telling/coaching what she did wrong in her communication skills, and that there was NO excuse for disrespecting me) even to the point where I told her I would leave if it continued. Only then did I get my respect, love, and affection back.

Women need leaders. She was so convinced she was right, and it took a calm strong leader who stood his ground to show her where she was wrong. Not in a belittling way, in a learning and developing way.

And when you talk this way, if she continues the barrage. Leave.