Brothers (and I mean that, as this subreddit has been fucking invaluable to me),

I’ve been lurking for a couple of months and both discovering new concepts, as well as feeling redeemed in concepts that I’ve come to discover on my own over the years.

Going from beta to alpha — after years and years of being a horribly pathetic beta — is something that I’m putting a major emphasis on. I’ve got several years of weightlifting under my belt (and this sub has really pushed just how important lifting is, I’m glad to say), stopped being needy with women completely, and have begun working on making myself successful and self-sufficient, as this sub correctly advises that by doing so, the women will come.

One of the most alpha behaviors — and one that I needed to change the most — was standing up for myself and to finally stop taking shit from people, which I’ve been doing my whole life. After a lifetime of bullying from so many people, I am fighting back against people who try to fuck with me, or straight up taking revenge on those who did.

Until now, it has all been non-violent; exposing bullying coworkers as being inept in front of the boss (legitimately), talking back when people talk down to me, etc.,

However, my cousin viciously bullied me years ago, when I was a scrawny beta loser in a very bad phase of my life. I was in a bad spot, with no father or older brother to guide me, and instead of guiding me like a kind person, he was viciously cruel and mean to me. I’m not saying this to whine and play victim, but rather to give context to this post. To make matters worse, in the “hierarchy” of my family (being immigrants), he is older than me, so my only recourse (and one of the main reasons I never stood up to him when he would insult me, threaten to hit me, humiliate me in front of my younger siblings, or straight up attack me and treat me like utter shit) was to sit there and take it. If i EVER fought back, the family would back him up and not me — mainly because he’s a successful hotshot lawyer, but also because he’s older than me, and in my culture, you defer to those who are older, no matter what the situation.

After a particularly heartless and vicious attack (roughly 12 years ago), I was so hurt by his cruelty and fed up that I cut contact with him completely, seeing him only at sporadic family get togethers - may 2 or 3. In that time, i have been lifting hardcore, took some BJJ classes (nothing crazy), and as I said, reformed my thinking. I no longer give a fuck what the family thinks; if they’re just going to take his side, I might as well regain my dignity.

And that’s where I need some help. There’s going to be a family function in a couple of months, and I’ve been hitting the gym specifically harder, only so that I’ll be ready to give him some comeuppance. I carry his abuse with me throughout each day, and have hated him so much over the last few years for the way he treated me — the way he just felt he had the right to fuck with me like that, just because he was who he was, and because he had immunity.

I must stand up for myself and regain my dignity. This is a MAJOR step toward leaving my old beta self behind, and being proud of myself for once.

Since I have done so with other bullies in my life, the negative thinking that I always carried with me in regards to those people have completely erased from my mind. I mulled about the abuse I took for years by various people, but with each person I took revenge on (verbally, and never physically), those negative feelings disappeared completely. It was therapy — the best therapy I could imagine. Alphas stand up for themselves, and I always hated myself for absorbing the abuse without a response. As soon as I gave a response — albeit years late — the negative thinking disappeared completely, and was replaced by a sense of contentment.

This motherfucker needs to get his.

I am writing to ask you guys how you think I should go about it. One simple punch to the face is all I need to feel better, and I think it’s fitting; as a man, I’d be giving him what he deserves. At the same time, I need to think about the way not the family, but the guests, would see me after doing such a thing, and I don’t want to cause a scene. He will not press charges for violence (that’s something else that doesn’t fly in our family), so if I keep it to something minimal, but still get done what needs to get done, I’ll be golden.

I think of different scenarios; my dream would be to be alone in the bathroom with him, where I can knock him out and leave, but the chances of that happening (or happening without anyone else in the room) are slim. I thought to maybe simply as if I could speak with him outside, and leave during the reception, knocking him out in the parking lot, etc., Again, he will not press charges. The family code that gave him free reign to fuck with me will do me the small favor of having the uncles and aunts tell him to keep this in the family only.

With all of that as background, any advice? Thanks in advance.

tl;dr - I was viciously bullied by a cousin. Words will not do justice to how intensely he fucked with me. That was beta me. Alpha me is lifting and trying to settle scores with those who fucked with me. He’s the main enemy, and I’m seeing him in several weeks at a wedding. Need advice as to how to give him what he has coming to him. Thanks in advance.