The following is my side of the story about my strategy and takeaway from fighting for custody of my two children after my ex wife ask the courts for full physical custody and to allow her to move them to the other side of the country. There's always two side of a story but I'll do my best to explain this without prejudice (but I can't promise anything).

I don't blame her for wanting to figure out a way to take the kids with her (because I would probably do the same if I were in her shoes) but I absolutely do blame her for the way she went about it (lying, cheating, and being deceitful).

She had learned 9 months prior (to me being served with the custody hearing paperwork) that her Military SO would be transferred across the country so she started planning. (mistake 1) She told the kids not to tell me about any plans of moving and started conditioning them with ideals of grandeur of this wonderful adventure they'd have moving to another state and how much fun it'd be and that it'd only be temporary .

I later learned that the SO's assignment across the country would only last 1 year (for training) and then he'd be transferred again (to another unknown assignment in an unknown location) which she didn't tell the kids. She hired a terrible attorney (mistake 2) and tried to get all of her ducks in a row. If her attorney was worth her weight, she should have told my Ex to immediately tell me of her plans and try to negotiate a custody arrangement but nope, (mistake 3) the attorney told my ex wife to withhold all information about from me until the last minute and hit me with a court custody case using falsified allegations (mistake 4) (more on this later). during those nine months, My Ex found (on base) housing, found schools, Quit her job, and then 9 months later, I was served.

In her initial court statement, the allegations came in the form of me neglecting my time with the kids (by me accommodating their wishes to spend more time with mom - temporarily for 4 months, 5 years prior), me emotionally abusing the kids (in the form of punishment of taking away toys and computers for misbehavior), and me being non-communicative with my Ex (by either not answering emails or texts within an hour or by having my own opinion on certain issues regarding the kids in which I wouldn't concede). She also stated that the kids wanted to go with her (the exact words were "go with her", not move - more on this later). She requested full physical custody and child support.

Since the day I divorced (and even prior), I had kept every email correspondence and kept a journal of all interactions with her regarding the kids. It's something that was recommended to me by a family friend when I initially divorced and it stuck with me.

Once I found out, I immediately talked to the kids and got another story from them. They were told by their mother that their "move" would only be temporary - a vacation if you will, and that they'd move back to their old home and schools shortly afterwards. They were lied to and coerced into going along with their mother's plan (mistake 5).

I told them the truth. I told them a move like this would be irreversible and permanent. They didn't want to go. If it was permanent, they didn't want the change at all.

I was good, but now I needed to convince the court.

My response to her initial statement was glorious. My kids were born here. Grew up here. Have an established life here. All their friends are here. Their extended family is all here (even Ex's parents are here, which I added in my response that I'd be happy to let them visit any time they wanted). I also added that when the kids were younger, I could have moved across the country for a very lucrative job but decided to stay because of my kids and that they needed a stable environment. I can provide them with stability and their existing comfortable lifestyle and argued that my Ex could not promise any of this. And most importantly, the kids didn't want to leave. They want everything to remain the same (status quo). All of my statement was the truth and undeniable.

I provided evidentiary proof negating all of the "allegations" and then I countered with an atom bomb in the form of my own request for full custody and child support in the case that she went forward with her decision to move but I also left it open ended stating that I would not seek full custody if she decided to stay. This showed the court my ability to reason, show flexibility, and the ability to compromise.

My lawyer suggested that we also request that the court perform it's own "limited investigation." This means that the court will have everyone involved (kids/parents/siblings/stepparents) sit down with a court appointed headshrinker and talk about what they want and how their relationships with the kids are. After the interviews, the shrink would then make a recommendation to the court with an opinion on how to proceed. It's expensive but in this case, (where mom lied and tried conditioning) it'd be worth it.

Jump forward to after the investigation was completed and the investigation report was submitted to the court.

The investigation holds that the kids, if given the choice, don't want to move (win 1) All allegations against me were unfounded and quite frankly, petty (yes, these were the investigator's words) (win 2). The investigator recommends that in the case of the mother going forward with moving out of county, the kids remain in full custody of the me (win 3) with visitation rights of the mother. Judge agrees.

Bam, drop the mic.

After about $20k, and over a year of stress, it's now over. Some things are just worth fighting for.

What to take from this?

• Cover your ass. Document everything and keep records. Keep emails. Keep correspondence. You’ll never know when you’ll need them.

• Use your Head. Don’t let emotions rule your decisions. Let cooler heads prevail.

• Use all of the resources available to you. Listen to family and friends. Don’t turn away advice but don’t follow it blindly.

• Use your enemy’s weaknesses against them. Turn their mistakes into your advantages.

• Fight for what you believe in and what’s important to you.