There are times when I am pulled strongly towards a relationship. The girl is sweet, submissive, and supportive of my goals. I can be straightforward with her; I can be demanding of her. She is pleasing to my friends and my family. But I've fucked this up in the past. I have to make sure to do this right. This is the rule I use to evaluate whether I'm doing it right: is my SMV increasing or decreasing?

If my SMV is decreasing, I'm in a trap. My partner's attraction for me is waning, and I know that my options back in the marketplace are limited. I cling to my partner, increasing my commitment, but they pull away. The relationship ends. I'm in a pit of despair because I can't attract a high quality partner without significant time and effort. I hate myself because I want it, but I know I don't deserve it.

If my SMV is increasing, I am saving "money" for the future, money I can buy things with. I get attention from other prospects, and my partner notices. She is more attracted to me, more submissive, more sexual, and more likely to be faithful. Even if something does go wrong, it is not a catastrophe. I move on on to other options, options that sculpt themselves to my preferences. I feel great about myself because I can handle something that I couldn't in my youth. I have grown, and I deserve my success.

The biggest mistake that modern men make in LTRs is allowing themselves to think that they're somehow immune to market forces. They allow themselves to think that increasing your value is something that single men do. That is a delusion. Men exist in a hierarchy, and climbing the hierarchy is your life's work. You can choose your leisure, but that is your work. Whatever your other goals, climbing the hierarchy will enable them. Men who give up the climb are treated as half-men by everyone else.