NYTimes Article - What Teens Are Learning from Porn

Archive link because I am not linking to the NYT.

https://archive.fo/bXUmj

The first 8 paragraph focus on boys. And it's clear the slant of the article is going to be that porn that focuses on male enjoyment is bad.

“It gets in your head,” Q. said. “If this girl wants it, then maybe the majority of girls want it.” He’d heard about the importance of consent in sex, but it felt pretty abstract, and it didn’t seem as if it would always be realistic in the heat of the moment. Out of nowhere was he supposed to say: Can I pull your hair? Or could he try something and see how a girl responded? He knew that there were certain things — “big things, like sex toys or anal” — that he would not try without asking.

“I would just do it,” said another boy, in jeans and a sweatshirt. When I asked what he meant, he said anal sex. He assumed that girls like it, because the women in porn do.

The reading of these paragraphs in this order perhaps is how the conversation really took place, or perhaps it didn't happen this way and the author wants us to know that porn consumption directly leads to anal rape.

But for around two hours each week, for five weeks, the students — sophomores, juniors and seniors — take part in Porn Literacy, which aims to make them savvier, more critical consumers of porn by examining how gender, sexuality, aggression, consent, race, queer sex, relationships and body images are portrayed (or, in the case of consent, not portrayed) in porn.

The NYT is supposed to be this beacon of journalism. What does that last parenthetical even mean? Is the author saying that consent is rarely portrayed in porn, never portrayed? I would argue that since it's actors and a camera, consent is always conveyed in legitimate marketed pornography.

(There are alternative narratives in L.G.B.T. and feminist porn, and studies show that for gay and bisexual youth, porn can provide affirmation that they are not alone in their sexual desires.)

Porn for queers and women is good. All other porn, not good.

Drew told me he got the sense that girls wanted to be dominated not only from reading a few pages of “Fifty Shades of Grey” but also from watching the movie “Mr. & Mrs. Smith,” with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. “She’s on the table, and she’s getting pounded by him. That’s all I’ve seen growing up.”

Drew is observing the real world and learning from it. Who was that book's target market? Not Drew.

After some gains by the Obama administration to promote more comprehensive sex ed, which includes pregnancy prevention, discussions of anatomy, birth control, disease prevention, abstinence and healthy relationships, the Trump administration did not include the program in its proposed 2018 budget; it also has requested increased funding for abstinence education.

Has anyone else noticed the trend of articles that have or should have nothing to do with Trump always placing his name in them in a negative light? I'm really sick of this one. I'll be reading an article about something mundane like travel, and the author just has to tell me how bad Trump is.

Note the above paragraph in the article is above a picture of a naked woman. In fact all the pictures in the article focus on naked women. I guess the NYT is also into degrading women just like porn producers do.

“How much do men get paid?” one girl asked. It is the one of the few professions in which men are paid less, Rothman explained, but they also typically have longer careers.

So the wage gap, in this instance, is acceptable.

Daley then asked the teenagers to pretend they were contestants on a reality-TV show, in which they had to decide if they were willing to participate in certain challenges (your parents might be watching) and for how much money. In one scenario, she said, you would kneel on the ground while someone poured a goopy substance over your face. In another, you’d lick a spoon that had touched fecal matter. The kids debated the fecal-matter challenge — most wouldn’t to do it for less than $2 million. One wanted to know if the goop smelled. “Can we find out what it is?” asked another.

The goopy substance question seems like a rational question to ask...

Then Daley explained that each was in fact a simulation of a porn act. The goopy substance was what’s called a “baker’s dozen,” in which 13 men ejaculate on a woman’s face, breasts and mouth.

What in the actual fuck?

There's a huge difference between filming someone getting goop poured on them vs a 13-man bukakke!

The second scenario — licking the spoon with fecal matter — was from a porn act known as A.T.M., in which a man puts his penis in a woman’s anus and then immediately follows by sticking it in her mouth.

“No way,” a 15-year-old boy said. “Can’t you wash in between?” Nope, Daley said.

“We don’t question it when we see it in porn, right?” Daley went on. “There’s no judgment here, but some of you guys are squeamish about it.”

“I never knew any of this,” Drew said, sounding a bit glum.

So kids, there's your introduction to capitalism 101! While you may want $2 million to lick a spoon that touched some shit, some woman out there will do it for a few hundred, maybe less.

Daley went on to detail a 2010 study that coded incidents of aggression in best-selling 2004 and 2005 porn videos. She noted that 88 percent of scenes showed verbal or physical aggression, mostly spanking, slapping and gagging. (A more recent content analysis of more than 6,000 mainstream online heterosexual porn scenes by Bryant Paul and his colleagues defined aggression specifically as any purposeful action appearing to cause physical or psychological harm to another person and found that 33 percent of scenes met that criteria. In each study, women were on the receiving end of the aggression more than 90 percent of the time.)

They are defining spanking as physical aggression, and are also including verbal aggression in their stats! How many PG-13 movies have scenes that include verbal aggression? My guess is 100% or close to it.

“Do you think,” Daley said, standing in front of the students, “watching porn leads to violence against women? There’s no right or wrong here. It’s a debate.”

There's no right or wrong, but there is a clear answer we expect from you.

Kyrah, a 10th-grade feminist with an athlete’s compact body and a tendency to speak her opinions, didn’t hesitate. “In porn they glamorize calling women a slut or a whore, and younger kids think this is how it is. Or when they have those weird porn scenes and the woman is saying, ‘Stop touching me,’ and then she ends up enjoying it!”

I have watched a lot of porn and have never seen a "stop touching me" that then showed enjoyment. I did see one video where the girl was not comfortable and asked to stop filming and everyone stopped what they were doing instantly.

Earlier in the article, they said there weren't even plots in many of these videos anymore, and now they use an example where there has to be a semblance of a plot.

Many girls at Start Strong were decidedly less enthusiastic. One senior told me a boyfriend asked to ejaculate on her face; she said no. And during a conversation I had with three girls, one senior wondered aloud: “What if you don’t want a facial? What are you supposed to do? Friends say a boy cleans it with a napkin. A lot of girls my age like facials.” But a few moments later, she reversed course. “I actually don’t think they like it. They do it because their partner likes it.” Next to her, a sophomore added that when older girls talk among themselves, many say it’s gross. “But they say you gotta do what you gotta do.” And if you don’t, the first girl added, “then someone else will.”

A girl changing her mind about something sexual? Never happens.

At one point during sex, Drew’s girlfriend at the time, who was a year older and more experienced, asked him to put his hand around her neck during sex. He did it, without squeezing, and though it didn’t exactly bother him, it felt uncomfortable. Drew never asked if she got the idea from porn, but it made him wonder.

These poor boys. Really think about this. The article wants you to believe that it's the boys getting all these bad ideas from porn, but it turns out when real life comes and their girlfriends want to be choked, they don't know how to handle it.

Can you imagine being 15 years old and your girlfriend wants you to choke her? I don't think porn is totally to blame here. This is "Fifty Shades", "You go girl", and "ride the carousel all you want". It's cultural, and porn is just a small portion of it.

Little Billy just wants to have some fun and maybe play Call of Duty after. But he's being asked to choke. And he knows something is wrong -- 15-year-old girls shouldn't be asking for that sort of thing.

Yet men are the oppressors. Remember. Women have no role to play except being victims.

Before he had sex, porn had supplied his images of oral sex, including scenes in which a woman is on her knees as a man stands over her. At one point, he thought that’s how it might go one day when he had sex. But when he talked with his girlfriend, they realized they didn’t want to re-enact that power dynamic.

Negotiation always gets the pussy wet.

Aside from some private schools and innovative community programs, relatively few sex-ed classes in middle and high school delve in detail into anatomy (female, especially), intimacy, healthy relationships, sexual diversity.

I know when I had to take sex ed that they showed way more of the female tubes and vulva and all that shit than they ever did the man. Testes was like 2 minutes, women reproductive was 2 hours.

Porn is “not all bad,” said A., who was frank and funny, with a slew of advanced-placement classes on her transcript and a self-assured manner that impresses adults. “I got my sexual ways from porn, and I like the way I am.” But what she learned from porn had downsides too. Because she assumed women’s pleasure in porn was real, when she first had intercourse and didn’t have an orgasm, she figured that was just how it went.

The NYT found out a girl had consensual sex and didn't orgasm and is blaming it on porn. It's almost like the author had to add this fact in because the girl wasn't providing the narrative that was needed.

“We can’t just say, ‘I don’t like mainstream porn because it’s chauvinistic,’ ” says Lust, whose films feature female-centered pleasure. “We have given our children technology, so we need to teach them how to handle it.” But she takes it a step further by suggesting that parents of middle- and high-schoolers talk to their teenagers about “healthy porn,” which she says includes showing female desire and pleasure and being made under fair working conditions.

We can't just tell the kids the truth, because then we can't brainwash them.

“Unlike organic food, there’s no coding system for ethical or feminist porn,” Crabbe notes. “They might use condoms and dental dams and still convey the same gender and aggression dynamics.” Also, “good porn” isn’t typically free or nearly as accessible as the millions of videos streaming on mainstream sites.

Modern feminism: Literally inventing problems that don't exist.

The problem with porn “is not just that it often shows misogynistic, unhealthy representations of relationships,” Vernacchio says. “You can’t learn relationship skills from porn, and if you are looking for pleasure and connection, porn can’t teach you how to have those.”

Because what I need most when I have blue balls is my porn teaching me how to improve my relationships. That's why I watch.

Crabbe notes one effective way to get young men to take fewer lessons from porn: “Tell them if you want to be a lazy, selfish lover, look at porn. If you want to be a lover where your partner says, ‘That was great,’ you won’t learn it from porn.” And parents should want their teenagers to be generous lovers, Cindy Gallop argues. “Our parents bring us up to have good manners, a work ethic. But nobody brings us up to behave well in bed.”

These people are literally lunatics.

But only a tiny number of students agreed in the postclass survey that “most people like to be slapped, spanked or have their hair pulled during sex,” compared with 27 percent at the start of class. And while at the beginning, 45 percent said that porn was a good way for young people to learn about sex, now only 18 percent agreed. By the end of the class, no one said pornography was realistic; just over one-quarter had believed that at the outset.

Most of these numbers started low and went lower. What was the exact problem before this class?

Also, note the question: most people like to be slapped, spanked, hair pulled... people=women. In porn, men aren't typically slapped unless it's a dom film.

When Drew watched porn, he found himself wondering if women were having sex against their will. As another student said with a sigh: “Nicole and Jess ruined porn for us.”

They've robbed Drew, the one who read 50 Shades, of his agency. Now he's wondering if the women are having sex against their will. But not the men. Wonder why that is?

In the months after the class, A. had created a new mission for herself: She was going to always have orgasms during sex. “And I did it!” she told me. It helped that she had been in a relationship with a guy who was open and asked what she liked.

Narrative alert! Women love men who negotiate, that makes them cum so hard.

“In porn, the guy cares only about himself. I used to think more about ‘Am I doing something right or wrong?’ ” Porn may neglect women’s orgasms, but A. wasn’t going to anymore.

Again -- male enjoyment is the issue, nor pornography. They hate pornography not because it's addicting and it creates loser beta males, but because it shows male enjoyment. It's irrelevant if it also shows female enjoyment.

Maybe that porn clip in which the nice, tender guy didn’t excite the girl was wrong. What Drew needed was a girl who was open and honest, as he was, and with whom he could start to figure out how to have good sex. It would take some time and most likely involve some fumbling. But Drew was O.K. with that. He was just starting out.

Drew, I hope TRP is around in 5-10 years. You'll need it.

TLDR: A huge anti-porn narrative piece run by the NYT that also shows how libs brainwash teenagers with their propaganda.