If you’re new to TRP, or even if you’ve been reading the sub for some time, chances are you probably have some form of approach anxiety: which is basically the fear of approaching women, whether it be in broad daylight or at a local bar.
For months now I’ve been trying to get myself to approach women, only to rationalize it away with goals like: I need to get bigger at the gym, or I need to finish reading Models and learn to be less needy. The thing is, once I did put on a bit of muscle and I did digest the material from Models, my approach anxiety wasn’t any less. In fact, I was thinking of other goals to accomplish next before approaching women to continue rationalizing the daunting task away.
Most advice on overcoming approach anxiety revolves around the idea of not being a bitch... following your male instinct and not being a pussy. But there had to be more to it.
I watched Julian Blanc’s video (of RSD) and he revealed one of the best tips to overcoming approach anxiety, and that’s to simply ignore your emotions.
As Julian explains in the video, your emotions will always try to keep your current self in check and keep you from doing things that are out of your comfort zone. Does the thought of skydiving scare you? Yes? It’s because you’re not a skydiver. Skydiving is not in your comfort zone and your emotions will do everything in its power to stop you from skydiving… they’ll instill a sense of absolute fear in you.
The same thing is true with approaching women.
Approaching random women is out of your comfort zone, so your emotions will instill a sense of fear so you don’t approach. But guess what? Your emotions are fucking with you. You have all the tools to approach, you just have to do it.
So how do you overcome your emotions? Ignore them. When you see a girl worth approaching, go into a meditative state: don’t let a single thought run through your head because it will only be negative. Then just fucking move your legs and approach.
I used this tactic today and approached four random women during the day for the first time. And guess what? It really wasn’t that bad. I didn’t try to number close, I just asked questions, turned them into 1-2-minute conversations, and said bye and left. For the first three, my conversations progressively got a bit longer and the third one got a bit flirtatious. It was actually pretty fun.
The fourth one was a mess. I approached from the back (that’s a no, no – but now I’ll always remember not to do it) and made a joke based on the surroundings of where we were on campus. The girl didn’t get it (my delivery sort of sucked, I got nervous when she turned around), she totally blank-faced me, I froze, said “Okay” and walked away.
Did I handle it well? Hell to the no. Did I experience something different and learn something new? Yeah! And that’s what counts because you’re only going to get slicker, more confident and just all-around better by constantly approaching.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how many times you got rejected or looked like a creep. It really doesn’t fucking matter. Abundance mentality is key. Find the humor in all of it, craft it into a good story to tell your bros and move on.
TLDR: Overcome approach anxiety by ignoring your emotions and thought process, and simply approach.
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