Perfect TRP example in r/relationships. [29F] shocked her [29M] BF of 1 year loves her, doesn't love him back, yet wants marriage and to move into his house "to experience having her own place". Says "I know I'm not going to find anyone better than you and you're what I'm looking for".

ItsYourHandInMine · 2013-11-11T21:36:42+00:00

She's about to hit the wall so she's looking to lock down a beta provider, nothing more to say really.

scottishredpill · 2013-11-11T23:02:55+00:00

Welcome to the real world lads. Get to know more women as plates, and as they start to open up to you more, you will hear many stories like the op and this:

"I'm not really attracted to my boyfriend, but we like the same stuff and we get on ok"

"I would leave him, but I can't afford rent by myself and I hate living with people I don't know"

"I don't think about how long I've been married, it's like doing time. It's the kids that matter"

md619 · 2013-11-11T22:50:46+00:00

Oh god this dude is beyond fucked if he marries this girl.

First off, it's painfully obvious she just sees him as her wall approaching beta bucks. Notice she never said she loved him. And she doesn't. A woman's love is directly related to her tingles but for this man she has probably almost none. As /u/TheeRyanGrey pointed out, hypergamy won't allow it. I wouldn't be surprised if she has already cheated on him.

If he does marry her, she will never respect him and he'll probably encourage it with further beta behavior. This ends with either an extremely unhappy marriage or divorce.

semigod__ · 2013-11-11T21:25:23+00:00

in my bluepill days i would be confused too.

but man, is there a TRP red flag that she doesnt exhibit?

TRP advice to him: since he still has the love googles on, keep her for another year. then they should wear off and he should dump her and go for some fresh meat.

TheeRyanGrey · 2013-11-11T21:40:17+00:00

(she has a decent job ($50k) and is staying with her parents for cultural reasons and to save up money (although she was born and raised in the United States)

(She's very attractive and popular (I think because she is just so nice to everyone she sees, in addition to being so attractive)

(She has a lot of friends who she constantly hangs out with (her phone is always vibrating from text messages during our dates)

She's just as old/older than you. She's richer than you. She's cooler than you.

This. Ends. Poorly.

badass9000 · 2013-11-11T21:38:46+00:00

The hamster is realizing that she's about to hit the wall and wants to get married ASAP to get some beta bucks.

LuciusExitius · 2013-11-11T23:45:51+00:00

Two major things I take from this, everyone follow with me here...

Her phone rings off the hook when they are on their dates.
Her sex drive is down, because "birth control".

She's getting some on the side and he is providing her with nice dates. Classic Alpha fux, beta bux scenario.

HumanSockPuppet · 2013-11-12T04:42:05+00:00

"I know I'm not going to find anyone better than you and you're what I'm looking for".

I'm rather surprised by how pithily she states this.

Typically when a woman approaches The Wall and settles for a lower-value man, she rationalizes it as "maturity, a change in taste, and a greater appreciation for nice guys."

But this girl: she's basically straight up admitting: "At this point, you're the best I can do. I'm going to lock this down while I still can."

andromede8 · 2013-11-12T04:29:19+00:00

29 years old.

/tread.

She probably could find someone older but it's probably not an option because ''society''. I have couple of friend who went with older men (not that much older seriously) and they had to justify themselves to me, like it what someting abnormal (i'm talking like 24/35), by saying ''yeah but he's different, act more like someone my age'' (wich wasn't true, they were just... funny...). hehe.

This woman is about to ruin her life and HIS (she will left him, it's a matter of time), that's sad.

tallwheel · 2013-11-12T07:50:13+00:00

Oh fuck. This. I know this experience all too well.

She loves the concept of marriage more than she loves the person she is considering marrying. Hell this is not really love at all as far as I'm concerned.

A woman stating "Marry me or I'll break up with you," makes no sense from the perspective of a man who is healthily in love with a female. Why would a man want to break up with a woman he loves enough to consider marriage? A woman loves what a man can provide for her, not the man himself.

Baby rabies and the wall compound the problem. If she is in beta/provider-seeking mode, she would rather spend her attractive and fertile years pursuing a relationship with a man who she knows has marriage on the to-do list. She'll dump a man who she even claims to love in a heartbeat if she thinks she can find him elsewhere.

RG68 · 2013-11-12T10:50:05+00:00

Slightly off topic, but having never truly loved a woman yet in the romantic sense of the word, I really don't understand the hang up on saying 3 damn words. It's three fucking syllables, how can it carry so much weight? Considering how easy I would find it to say "I love you" sincerely without a single ounce of truth behind it I cannot fathom why it's become such a big deal. Judge actions not words.

drrrrrr · 2013-11-12T02:11:51+00:00

She has a decent job ($50k) and is staying with her parents for cultural reasons and to save up money

If this woman is Muslim, Indian or Asian aren't all bets off? I've always thought of TRP as being a primarily "Western" concept, but maybe I have misunderstood.

angeliswastaken · 2013-11-12T19:12:41+00:00

While I agree this woman is plastered flatly against the wall, I don't think her reluctance to say "I love you" is that big of a deal. Society has so thoroughly idealized those three words, they no longer mean what they are supposed to mean. If she is Muslim, Inidan, Asian, etc then her pragmatic approach to marriage is all you can expect from her based on her upbringing. However the same conservative upbringing that explains the reluctance to say ILU makes some of the other red flags even more concerning (her phone ringing off the hook while on dates with him, and the birth control issue)

Actions are the true test of love.

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