Preface

The smile is the first form of communication we learn as infants. It is a sacred, powerful gesture at the core of human expression. But as we mature in the world, we learn that not all smiles are equal. Some are cruel, some are polite, some are out of pity.

Being highly sensitive and precise about what these different sorts of smiles express is a skill that I call smile management. Smile management is absolutely essential to men who want to be seen as composed and intentional about their self-image. There are two sorts of people who I've noticed have possess smile management: Psychopaths, and people who are very well socialized - in other words, people who have never had to put on a display, and people who have always had to.

Then there's everyone else that falls in the middle, most people on this sub and in the world. They're just farts in the wind with little to no control over their face. They instinctively giggle at whatever painfully unfunny TikTok is shoved in their face. They muster a weak beta smile when their boss makes off-color jokes about reprimanding them. They are stone-faced and autistic looking when an attractive woman approaches them with interest. Watching them perform socially can be embarrassing and unbearably pathetic.

Let's waste no time and get into some fundamental levels of facial expression for men, ranking from negative to positive.

The look of judgment

The mean mug. This look needs no introduction. Stern brow, tense jaw. Lowered, beady eyes. "Don't fuck with me. You're on thin ice. Who the fuck do you think you are?"

People who under-smile often default to this look, and don't understand why no one approaches them or why they fail to progress socially even when they treat others well. If you learn nothing else from this thread, grasp this:

THIS SHOULD NEVER BE YOUR EVERYDAY FACE!

It is an incredible misstep to think you should always look like someone pissed in your coffee. It does no increase your value or frame, it only serves to indicate that the person you're directing it towards has depleted their value in your eyes. Realistically, most people in your life deserve a pokerface or alpha smile (more on this later.)

This face is best deployed in unacceptable cause-and-effect scenarios. A friend of yours makes a joke that's way out of line? Someone you don't know that well oversteps their bounds? Your girl is dressed like a slut and says she's ready to go out? Shoot them out of the sky with your glare.

The pokerface

Neutral brows + lips. Steady, calmly blinking eyes. Lukewarm. Composed. The sort of face you see all the time in face-offs between boxers before their match, and of course poker games.This is a far more effective default face compared to the look of judgement. It is civilized, approachable, but not too soft. It can scare people. It masks the emotional context behind your words and actions, no one can read you.

When you are not to be bothered? When the topic of conversation becomes serious? When you're making demands/giving orders? Just received unexpected or bad news? Give them the game face.

The alpha smile

Have you ever been told you just look... happy? Or someone asks why you're smiling at your phone while you're texting some chick, even though you could swear up and down you were straight-faced?

That's the alpha smile.

Look at yourself in a mirror. You probably aren't making much of an effort to look any sort of way, it's like a mushy pokerface. Now let the corners of lips naturally perk up. Maybe let your eyebrows rise a bit, your eyes widen slightly, whatever comes naturally. It should be a subtly positive expression that you can hold on your face forever, a 51/100 on the happiness scale.

This tiny smile is the manifestation of effortlessly holding frame. Because of this, you should be using this smile often with everyone in your life, good or bad. It exudes confidence and control of any situation.

People who grow used to your alpha smile immediately notice when it's absent, and especially notice when it morphs into a look of judgement. The change in intensity can burn a hole right through them.

This is also the "kill them with kindness" and "smile through the pain" expression. It can easily mean "I'll beat the shit out of you, stomp your head into the pavement, and have a cold beer after." No need for a toothy psychotic grin, just a mildly amused look.

Pro tip: Alternate unpredictably between the look of judgement + pokerface + alpha smile with people you hate, and it'll drive them insane.

The polite smile

Your "regular" smile. Hardly needs explanation, you've been doing it your whole life. It's not huge, but you can only hold it for about 30 seconds before your cheeks start shivering. People who over-smile mistake this for an alpha smile, people who under-smile think this is a winner's smile.

It hardly ever means much. It's usually the smile you give when a smile or laugh is expected of you, and you are gracious enough to give it.

Group photo? You're expected to laugh but the shit wasn't that funny? Didn't hear what somebody said? Don't overplay your emotions, just flash a polite smile.

The winner's smile

Teeth on display, dimples, bright eyes. The whole package. The smile you shoot yourself in the mirror after a nice haircut or you're feeling particularly handsome.

The winner's smile is not exactly rare, but it's certainly not free. Only the alpha smile and polite smile are given indiscriminately. The winner's smile is a reward you hand out strategically for great behavior.No one should ever get accustomed to this level of visible elation from you; it will skew the weight of all of the subtler expressions. It's best cleansed off your face by reeling back to the pokerface or alpha smile after a moment or two.

Boss just gave you a raise and extends a handshake to you? Your plate is getting hot and bothered? Your LTR is passing shit tests? A brief winner's smile followed by smooth concise words reigns supreme.

Some celebrity examples of smile management:

Jimmy Fallon is notoriously godawful at his smile management, which has earned him a level of contempt from some people. He's like an immature child constantly pressing random buttons on his emotional panel.

Kanye West is a good example of someone who knows the importance of smile management, but lacks all of the poise and subtlety. His switches come off as forced and sociopathic.

Eagles QB Jalen Hurts just nails it. His expressions are always well managed, he almost always looks positive, but big bursts of glee are uncommon and earned.

UFC fighter Jon Jones is great at deploying the evil alpha smile.