In high school I became your typical WoW loser who had no friends, no social life, and could care less about my appearance. For years I suffered from the depression knowing that while I was in college that everyone around me was having the time of their life and I was too scared to talk to people because I lacked confidence and self esteem. So I actually managed to have 0 sexual interactions during this time. Not a date, not a kiss, not even so much as a drunk make out until senior year when I desperately fucked some fat girl I met online so I could lose my virginity.

But since that time I have dedicated myself to self improvement. I was tired of being a fat loser. I hit the gym with no guide or goals and just went for it. I went 3-4 times a week and would stay until my muscles burned. I tried to eat healthier and stop eating so much junk food and drinking so much soda. I quit gaming and opted for reading. I played my guitar more often and would go to the quad to play and be outside more often. I pushed myself to try and get better any way I could. To make myself feel like less of a loser.

Then I graduated college and got myself a job in IT (surprise surprise) doing web development. I was on my way straight out of school to the career I wanted. And so I worked hard and lived at home for a year. I saved money, continued to work out, and try to improve myself when ever I could. Then after a year I decided to move from home and live in a major American city. I moved to Austin, Texas where I was greeted with a job that payed me 10k more a year than my last job and payed me a moving bonus. I drove halfway across the country to my new adventure.

Since living in Austin I've gone to countless concerts, explored the city, continue to workout with great gains, have a better wardrobe, got myself a decent hairstyle for the first time in my life, dropped a ton of weight, learning about cooking, reading all the time, writing more music than ever, learning to record my music, go out downtown and to bars frequently, and even met a some people who I play volleyball with on Friday nights... Between the well paying career, the talents, and the travel it's safe to say that I've accomplished a lot in my life. Certainly more than me or anyone in my life thought I was capable of. I still have a long way to go with a lot of things like with my body/fitness and I'm pushing myself to continue with my career and I'm excited to see where life goes. At 24, I've come a long way from the guy who used to just play video games all day and night.

And yet...

I still have the hardest time in the world with women. I came to reddit years ago to learn about self improvement and what to do for myself to make myself more attractive to the opposite sex. I still don't know why things in that regard don't feel any different. I'm not the most attractive looking guy, but I sure try with my clothes and hair. I'm bulking right now and my body isn't perfect, but I can honestly say I'm in the best shape of my life and look the best I ever have. Yet women still don't ever seem to notice me. I walk around downtown and feel so inadequate when I see all these hot girls with guys who look like they're straight up off the set of an abercrombie and fitch photo shoot. I smile at girls in my everyday life and none of them return a smile or even seem to notice me to begin with. I feel like I'm invisible and I just don't get it. The number 1 thing I've learned from here is self improvement and the importance of it. But I still can't get dates. I still have a hard time making friends. I spend my nights alone and there's only so much reading and guitar playing I can do before I realize that I haven't had sex since college. I had one day this year with a girl who turned out to be crazy. The guys I meet who I get along with don't seem to want to be my friend and hang out. And I'm very personable when I open up to someone. I read how to win friends and influence people, so I've learned a little something about the right way to talk to people. It feels lame to say this... but I've done my part. I've done what I was told to do. I cut out the shit in my life and on paper I have a lot of great attributes, so why do I still struggle so hard in this area of life? Maybe I'm not the smoothest and I approach when I can. I fight my social anxiety and introverted tendencies all the time to talk to people, but with women it feels so demoralizing when they don't even seem to notice your existence.

And even though it's hard to always be alone and feel like all the things you've done to get people to like you more haven't worked, I still keep going. I still workout and eat healthy everyday. I read and play music and fill my life with good things. My life is on the right track, but for once in my life I want to feel powerful and desirable to women and have friendships. What am I missing?