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Stop Saying "Can I get a...?"

DCLdit
January 11, 2015
0 upvotes
/r/TheRedPill
Archived from /r/TheRedPill

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Post Information
Title Stop Saying "Can I get a...?"
Author

DCLdit
Upvotes 0
Comments 52
Date January 11, 2015 2:55 PM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2s29o2/stop_saying_can_i_get_a/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/stop-saying-can-i-get-a.27844
https://theredarchive.com/post/27844
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Comments

[–]speakertable27 points28 points29 points 11 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

Next up on TRP: OP advises people to stop saying "please", "thank you", holding elevator doors open for people, because that shit's beta as fuck.

[–]Incognitro777 15 points16 points17 points 11 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Pretty much lol. We're taking this Red pill thing out of proportions really. Before you know it, we'll be replying with "Serve me, I am superior to you", "You should be honored by my presence, beta peasant".

[–]speakertable11 points12 points13 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Remember, when you walk past beggars, you have to hold frame by not giving them any money while staring them down.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

But don't make eye contact for longer than 3.7 seconds or your displaying IOIs and that means you want to have submissive anal sex with them.

[–]TheIronViking7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

This can be negated by verbally stating "no homo" as you walk by. Just claim you were 'mirin his beard gains.

[–]tits_out_forTheBoys1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Make sure it's a backhanded compliment and act aloof when you deliver it. DHV for female bystanders.

[–]TheIronViking5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Remember your alphadom isn't secured just yet. Once you're prompted for payment, the shit test begins again. Handing over cash or your card implies equality as it's being exchanged from one hand to another, almost like a handshake. Instead, toss the bills/card onto the counter and wait for the betafaggot clerk to pick them up. Scrambling to collect the payment you've tossed at them is an act of submission, and will elevate your status.

[–]RICCIedm0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

what is the problem with that? "Act royal and you will be treated as a king", from 48 laws of power.

[–]Incognitro777 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, but the line between douche and royal is very thin. Be careful of how you treat the people who serve you, they're the one's closest to your health. A waiter might spit in your drink, a cook might drop your steak on the floor after cooking it (worked at a restaurant where the cook was telling us strories after hours) etc.

Act royal in terms of expectations for yourself, don't be a cunt.

[–]speakertable1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Good, have you also heard of "don't be a cunt" from the 48 laws of being a normal person?

[–]id-buyer-1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That's not universally applicable in every context. If the average person were to act "royal" in most contexts they'd be treated like an asshole, not a king.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Is this fucking for real? Don't we have better things to discuss than which lexicon is more alpha or beta?

[–]DCLdit-3 points-2 points-1 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

The words 'Alpha' and 'Beta' were never used in the post.

Please read again and comment with constructive criticism.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Make a constructive post and I'll consider it.

[–]DCLdit 3 points3 points3 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Ive taken some time to read and digest the comments and have come to the conclusion that i should work harder on producing better content.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

ITT: poster makes low value content and, upon seeing the feedback, improves.

Have an up vote for making my day.

[–]DCLdit1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The urge to want to help people may have overshadowed my commitment to quality.

I'll do my best so that doesn't happen again.

The current stickied post says better quality stuff in 2015. I gotta remember that.

[–]DCLdit1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I will admit its not as good as some other posts but i would say there is value in it. Others seemed to think so.

Thanks for commenting though.

[–]Killabot1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

As a Brit, I think I've only ever heard Americans say "Can I get a...?" so it could be just a cultural thing. Although I understand where your post comes from, even if I don't necessarily agree with it.

[–]DCLdit2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Hi Killabot.

I often seem to forget that there are men from all over the planet here and that one observation over here doesn't mean it's the same across the board.

Good call.

[–]pTymN 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

"There should be water with our meal." or "I am thirsty."

She should react to either of those statements. I don't tell her what to do, but I tell her what is necessary to be done or how the situation is, and not start resolving it myself. Eye contact is very useful in this context. Is she a "suitable helper"?

[–]larrythetomato1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

While I certainly agree that the use of correct language you use is essential. I think this is less important than you emphasise. You can be a confident (sexy) leader, and be polite. 'Thanks you' and 'Please' are not even that important as you can be grateful with a smile or smirk.

I think a bigger issue that is being indecisive. Knowing what you want is something leaders always have and something to strive for. Dump that "I don't know" and replace with "I haven't decided yet". Sprinkle in the occasional "I know what I want" for good measure.

[–]DCLdit1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

This is golden!

I think this is less important than you emphasise. You can be a confident (sexy) leader, and be polite. 'Thanks you' and 'Please' are not even that important as you can be grateful with a smile or smirk.

I wish I was able to articulate myself like you have done. I should of said this post was for new guys to TRP.

I think a bigger issue that is being indecisive. Knowing what you want is something leaders always have and something to strive for. Dump that "I don't know" and replace with "I haven't decided yet". Sprinkle in the occasional "I know what I want" for good measure.

That is spot on what I should of said. Being indecisive isn't a good character trait.

Comments like these are why I write stuff on here.

They help me find out what I was really trying to say.

Thanks larrythetomato.

[–]SwagYoloJesus1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It may feel a little strange using those at first but that’s just your social conditioning fighting back. Stay strong and ignore it.

There is a very solid reason why there is social conditioning for that, it's called fucking politeness. If you don't understand why politeness exists and why it is not anti-TRP (because, let's face it, it's submissive, and everything submissive is anti-TRP, AMIRITE??), that's your problem.

It's simply basic fucking politeness to use a question form when ordering (or at least adding "please"), not "I'll have this and that" because you'll just come off as a fucking douche. Period.

This has nothing to do with being more direct and TRP and shit like that. It's politeness. There's no need to flex your TRP muscles in every fucking interaction you ever participate in. Sometimes you have to turn it down a notch so that you won't look like a douche.

These "make this unimportant little change in your everyday behavior because it's more TRP than how you were acting previously" threads are getting out of hand.

[–]DCLdit1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

There's no need to flex your TRP muscles in every fucking interaction you ever participate in

Hi SwagYoloJesus.

This post was an observation about how people can become lazy in the ways they communicate to each other.

I was writing this from the perspective of 'during my unplugging'. I'm not fully RP.

I was a needy and submissive person. Observations like these can help guys that are extremely needy become more direct. It's practice for a new guy to TRP.

I never suggested you should flex muscles in every situation. I should of made it clear that this post was for new guys.

Thanks for commenting.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

Restaurant servers tend not to like "Can I get...".

The answer is no. She has to get it. That's her job. If you could get it, she wouldn't be here. Now what the fuck do you want her to get for you?!

I once listened to a 15 minute rant on this from 3 servers (1 male). Doesn't seem like much, but they hate you for it.

Anyway, I think what this is missing is that people like to help others, but need a reason. I'm reminded of a study I wish I could find. They sent people to Starbucks to politely butt in line. These people were to ask random people if they could cut ahead and give no reason why. Most people told them no.

A couple of days later they went to the same locations and had them ask to cut it "because I need my coffee". That meaningless little "reason" got more they than double the positive response of just asking. People want to help, they just need a reason. Any reason.

[–]kogsworth2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

Get in this context means receive not fetch. It's totally acceptable from a semantic viewpoint.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points-1 points 11 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

It's about the connotation. If you have to explain the semantics of it, don't say it.

[–]kogsworth1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

Everybody besides waiters understand the semantics. They're looking for bones to pick.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points-1 points 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Yeah...no.

If they have to think about the semantics, then don't say it.

Jesus you love semantics. Semantics are why nobody can hold a fucking conversation any more. Everything needs to be quantified and qualified and every possible meaning thrown in the mix. Jesus. It's a rude phrase people don't like.

I thin you're looking for a bone to pick. Fuck off with the semantics.

[–]id-buyer1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link

...They would have to think about the semantics to interpret it any other way than "May I have X."

If a waiter does not understand that people mean "May I have" when they say "Can I get" and that it's an extremely common phrase then they have nobody to blame but themselves for getting angry.

It would be like getting angry over the phrase "Elephant in the Room" because there isn't an actual elephant in the room. Everybody understands the implicit meaning of those words right away.

I honestly don't understand how that's any more rude than "I'll have X". In fact, it would be more polite since you're making it a question - Think "can you bring me that book over there?" vs "Bring me that book over there."

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Yes. Everyone understands the connotation of elephant in the room.

Why don't you realize the connotation of can I get a?

[–]id-buyer0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

The connotation of "can I get a?" is "may I have a?". That's what I've been trying to say.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

The connotation of "Can I get a" is "I'm fucking rude".

That's what I'm telling you.

[–]id-buyer0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Not only is that incorrect but it demonstrates that you didn't even read my post. Framing it as a question makes it polite, not rude. I'm not going to demand shit from my waiter because I have manners.

And if some delusional waiter doesn't understand that "Can I get a" means "May I have a" I don't give a shit. They are going out of their way to get offended at an implication that never even existed. They are in the wrong, not me, and I should not have to concede to them by changing my phrasing.

[–][deleted]1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

1: Find a dictionary

2: Look up "connotation"

3: Go fuck yourself.

[–]id-buyer1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Dictionary.com connotation: The associated or secondary meaning of a word or expression in addition to its explicit or primary meaning: A possible connotation of “home” is “a place of warmth, comfort, and affection.”

Not only does the dictionary support my point ("Can I get" connotes to "May I have"), but earlier you were arguing that semantics is bullshit. Now you want me to look up the meaning of a word?

Lol, I thought you were a man. But clearly you don't know when to give up and resort to insulting people because they disagree with you. You know who also gets that emotionally invested in arguments? Betas and feminists.

[–][deleted]1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I thought you'd enjoy looking it up. Got you off my back for a couple days, so I'll call it a success.

That took you a long time...

[–][deleted]1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The connotation is what a word or phrase makes people think.

"Can I get a" makes a lot of people think k you're a rude idiot.

Your definition supports me, not you. You're thinking of a denotation: the actual meaning behind the words. That is "May I have". The connotation is you're stupid.

[–]Azothlike1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I worked as a waiter.

If your biggest grievance is what diction customers use to place their order, you've got a cushy fucking gig. Never once heard a complaint about "Can I get" in 3 years.

Customers that tell you what they want are great.

[–]DCLdit0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Anyway, I think what this is missing is that people like to help others, but need a reason.

I think maybe I could of used a different example other then the coffee shop. It was more for practicing not saying "Can I get a...?" then it was about someone asking you for something.

I'm all for helping people and I'm not sure where speakertable saw that I was suggesting being rude.

Restaurant servers tend not to like "Can I get...".

I worked in the restaurant business for a while and have heard similar rants ha.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

My point was it's been shown that people want to fill requests if they can, but need to be given a reason. Can I get... usually has no reason behind it and comes off as just rude, which is why it often gets a No in return.

You're right. It's a brutal phrase overall, but you don't need to avoid questions to be assertive and get what you want. If it's something small, they're more than happy to help. It let's them pat themselves on the back for nothing. Let them have it.

If you want to see hypergamy, be in the pass-through when someone famous for anything shows up. Amiright?

[–]DCLdit0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

you don't need to avoid questions to be assertive

That's true. This post was more for people who seem needy and not direct at all. Not saying "Can I get a...?" can help with that. For practice on becoming direct.

I'm actually glad there are some people (like yourself) on here that are helpful when it comes to dissecting posts or ideas.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks. I think it's an important aspect too.

The problem is people have a habit of going all in. In this instance "all in" leaves you as a demanding pick, after years of being a milquetoast, which confuses and infuriates most people.

[–]ilovemingers0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

At a sitdown dinner etc:

"May I please have" or "I would like X, please."

Not fucking rocket science.

When ordering coffee "I'll have a medium double double, please."

Don't forget, some RPers are Canadian too, politeness is key here.

Edit to add: fuck servers. Having worked BOH for years, they're the most entitled and spoiled cunts.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm Canadian.

And I agree, most are. Doesn't change the fact that the people handling your food hate you.

Think about that a second...

[–]ilovemingers0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This is one reason I prefer to not eat out. Dinner at home with a bottle, close to a bed, golden!

[–]garlicextract0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Oddly reminiscent of the topic about the guy who stares intently at a line of bricks on the sidewalk and DOES.NOT. MOVE. for anyone

[–]Incognitro777 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Brickman. He should move to NYC

[–]rivoltocontra0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Despite the critics, I agree. Language is fundamental to our experience of reality and the way we use it is as critical to how others' view us as it is to how we view ourselves. I usually say "I'll take xyz..." Never thought about it before. I'd say anything you can do to eliminate unnecessary superlatives (definitely, very) or neurotic indicators (uh, um, probably, maybe) is good for your thinking. I've found women respond well to directness because it's something they lack.

[–]DCLdit1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Language is fundamental to our experience of reality and the way we use it is as critical to how others' view us as it is to how we view ourselves.

That should of been my thesis. Thanks rivoltocontra for great comment.

[–]DCLdit-3 points-2 points-1 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Glad people are engaging.

This was something I was pondering and am happy to see the discussion.

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