I like to write in my free time, and I've been working on a small book that I intend to share with my close friends.

Below is an excerpt from it regarding conditioning, and how hard it is to actually break it.

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By now, you are probably feeling some sort of excitement after having read the previous chapters. You are ready to take the game by its balls, and live your life to the fullest (however that may be.) The most difficult part of understanding the game is actually internalizing it. The problem with just reading this short book, is that at first it is exciting; but many underestimate just how powerful our conditioning regarding the dating world actually is.

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I still have to be aware of any “bad” habits I have, habits that are tough to realize are even there. That is the first half of what makes internalizing this information difficult. The other day, I agreed to meet one of my friends. I was short on money, and she agreed she would come over to my apartment this time. All was going well, until she said her uber needed 5 minutes. I felt a pit in my stomach; I thought she was going to walk. The first thoughts that arose in my head were “how am I going to pay for her uber back to her home, I’m broke,” and “how embarrassing, I’m going to have to tell her I don’t have any money for her uber back.” This is an example of conditioning that I still personally deal with. I took a step back immediately, and looked at the situation from an omniscient lens.

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I have seen this girl multiple times, and most times in her home. I’ve walked over, and walked back to my house, taken an uber there and back home. All of these were on my expense. Personally, I enjoy paying for women. It is part of my culture and it is also much less of a hassle on the mind. If I had the money to pay for her uber back home, I would not have even been thinking of this situation; but since I didn’t it made me feel insecure and worried. For what reason? I smiled after realizing that this was a feeling I could overcome if I thought about it objectively. The girl wanted to come over, which is why she was taking an uber in the first place. If I was her, I would also want to pay for my uber back home. Why? I was worth it to her. If anything, me paying for her uber could make her feel like a whore. She would much rather want a man who was not afraid to make her pay once in a while. At first, if she heard that I would pay for her uber back, she would feel comforted (monetarily,) and not on an attraction level, but if you think about it more deeply, someone who was not concerned about issues like that would be much hotter for her. Someone that she was willing to pay for both trips for. I could not stop smiling. This also happened to be the last time I would be seeing this girl as we were both leaving the city. I ended up telling her exactly what I transcribed above, with exactly how I felt just for the fun of it. She could not agree more.

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The second difficult half of internalizing all this information is the ever-changing situations you find yourself in. I think “halves,” is the wrong word to describe the internalization process, as I think the following part is more like 70%, and realizing your conditioning and attempting to be aware of it is 30%. The conditioning is so ingrained in us that we do not even notice it, and is present in a myriad of different situations as seen above. The harder part is that there are always NEW situations that arise: these will break you, and will make you doubt all of this new information (you will be surprised at how easily you will drop everything you have learned and give up.) A simple and quick example could be you at a bar talking to a girl and she leaves to talk to someone more objectively good looking, or wealthier, or of a higher social status etc. A lot of your first thoughts would be to blame women, and the game instead. A more detailed example could be the following scenario:

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You are on a fourth date with a stunning girl you are fond of, you know the game inside out, you are confident, and you are on top of the world. There are a few underlying things going on in your head: First, you are letting her beauty get to you a little bit, you are letting her overstep universal boundaries that you normally would not allow from women.

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--- These could be her being late multiple times without a valid excuse, (you are not a dictator, I don’t mean to punish her, or be weird about it, but a simple joke about her being late would suffice.) For example: You're late again C. You don’t get to order your first drink, (2 Jamesons on ice please), no bitch drinks for you! They could also be you being afraid to state your honest opinions about certain topics around her, because you are afraid to lose her. These start to add up, and slowly you start to find yourself being completely inauthentic, and at the same time, losing your power. ---

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I just went off on a tangent, but to continue with the scenario: You are supposed to meet her in the park, and you are 10 minutes late this time. She responds to your text angrily, saying “I’m walking to the park I’ll be on a bench.” This should already make you uncomfortable just reading it, how could she say that when she has been late for all our previous dates? You do not have her picture available to see now, so that’s easy for you. If you were in this situation, you would definitely feel annoyed, but it would be extremely tough to make the RIGHT move and: call her and tell her that you’re not going to play hide and seek and to tell you what bench she’s on, or simply don’t go to the park and go do something else. 99% of the time you would submit to a situation where you shouldn’t be submitting, and go to the park and look for her between 100 different benches like a lost puppy. Remember, this girl is stunning.

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That is the hardest part of internalizing the game, the new and ambiguous situations you find yourself in where it is HARD to do the right thing.

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Always be aware of your personal boundaries, and always look at situations objectively.