I wanted to write an article about tinder because lately I’ve been quite successful there and I believe I have my game straight with this. That was until I took a massive L yesterday and in retrospect it was obvious what went wrong so I’ll write about that instead. After all you can learn more from mistakes.

First of all, for getting matches on tinder, the most important feature to have are good pictures. I’m not talking you looking handsome and masculine but actual good quality pictures. No topless gym mirror pic, no filtered pouty-face selfie, even when you feel you're looking amazing. There’s more than enough guys on tinder that are physically equally as attractive to you so you have to stand out differently. That you do by having well angled, high resolution pictures taken of you by someone else (no more selfies, none, never again.) wearing good style in a good setting. There’s a very detailed article about that somewhere here, I’ll link it if I find it again.

So I matched this girl and we agreed to meet up. At first I kinda didn’t want to go because her pictures didn’t match. There were some on which she looked amazing and some where I rather wouldn’t have met her and I already got some bad surprises of tinder in the past.

After all I went, same mindset as always: frame stronger than hers and the confidence to be able to pull tonight. That’s my go-to attitude and til yesterday I was widely successful with it as it worked 10/10 times. Til then it was enough to just meet up, brass-balls clanging, IDGAF-attitude, staying relaxed and confident. The rest was casual and natural.

So we met up and I was pleasantly surprised: girl was a real hottie, 9 easily. We talked and drank, I was super relaxed and felt that the conversation was going well. I payed (sure you can split the bill and entitle her to be a strong independent woman but if I invite someone out, I pay. What kind of invitation would it be otherwise?) and we left for a stroll in the park, I made a move and she turned me down ice-cold.

So what went wrong? Again, in retrospect it’s very obvious to me. I was relying too much on the attractiveness of a strong frame and physical attraction. I didn’t escalate at all and from this perspective, our conversation was flowing perfectly fine but was unexciting and trivial. The initial attraction and desire I sensed from her probably trickled away quite quickly during the conversation. I didn’t make her feel anything and that is basically the single most important thing when pulling a woman. They are emotional beings so they want to feel something when interacting with you. It’s not so important if you make them laugh, angry, sad, or feel cute but they want to feel something. A rock solid frame, operating on level 99 IDGAF (I wanted to link Uncle Vasya's iconic guide here but apparently it’s against the rules) are constitutional for dealing with any conversation, especially women. Good looks help a lot, too. But not applying basic game if it’s needed will bring you as far as an unloaded .357. You can still apply blunt force with it but that’s about it. It is easy to dodge such a hit. Which is exactly what I did: I bluntly hammered my brass-balled frame onto her and was expecting her to buy my appearance. But without prior use of conversational finesse, without mocking her, teasing her and actually flirting with her, she evaded the move like Muhammad Ali dodging blows from Michael Dokes.

Best thing I could do after that was not letting my frame crumble, after all I was still in IDGAF-mode. Later that evening one of my plates hit me up and asked if I wanted company. In the end a strong frame and abundance mentality saved me from falling into the trap of feeling defeated. Sometimes it doesn’t work out and you have to roll with it. You won’t run out of potential women to meet.

Things learned:

- Strong frame and IDGAF-mentality are not everything

- good looks are only a bonus

- Basic game has to be applied at all times

- abundance mentality will save you from worrying about meeting the next woman

TL;DR: Was relying solely on a strong frame and neglected basic game, which resulted in ice-cold rejection.