TRP is.... giving me oneitis?

whatsthisgarg · 2017-09-06T16:52:51+00:00

Man, I could write you a book on this, but I don't have to. Your "Pros" list is moot. But this:

Sex is not nearly as frequent as I want. 3x a week maximum, avg 1x a week.

I initiate sex 98% of the time. Success rate is 50%

Building on above, probably 1 spontaneous BJ per year.

These are shitty numbers. And this is after 3 years? Completely unacceptable. Guaranteed to get worse when life gets in the way, especially given that she has "serious" body issues over very minor changes.

Also, I suspect a case of cognitive dissonance on your part, looking at how you described those numbers. They don't add up. Average once/week, but success rate 50%. So you are initiating twice a week? And you say you have a voracious sexual appetite?

Rian_Stone · 2017-09-06T15:43:56+00:00

Thank god it's TRP's fault. For a moment there, you almost had to own the decisions you make, and their consequences.

Fuck, have you learned nothing?

Self-honest · 2017-09-06T15:33:50+00:00

I think you're looking at it the wrong way. I would definitely view the "cons" list as a "failures" list. You are in control of all of those issues. Overall, I think the point of TRP is escaping you. AWALT.

WISE_TURD · 2017-09-06T15:45:32+00:00

She gets extremely wet yet she's not giving you sex? I find this perplexing - she may be getting some on the side. The ones who cheat are usually the jealous type.

You should probably bail, she sounds too high maintenance for only 3x a week anyway. In the end always go with your gut, it's way more well-informed about the subtleties of your situation than anyone else could possibly be.

d4ng3rz0n3 · 2017-09-07T10:39:48+00:00

Learn to use frame in your relationship.

Definitely dont leave your girl because you are coming in to your prime and want to bang random sluts.

Promiscuity is boring. There are plenty of empty nights where you not only dont get sex 50% of the time but have nobody.

That being said, if you have legit issues with the relationship that are dealbreakers or dealbreakers arise then yes get out.

Otherwise focus on being a better man physically, in business, to others, etc. Sex is only 1 aspect of life.

ColinSmiley · 2017-09-06T15:38:40+00:00

So basically the vibe I'm getting from here is that if I break up with this chick I'm doomed to sluts for the rest of my life.

Not necessarily. Look for higher quality women and you'll find that eventually, look for sluts to plate, you'll probably find some.

IonianIdol · 2017-09-06T15:28:45+00:00

First of all, it depends of where you're from. But even in America, my experience is that AWALT is a useful theory, but it's not actually true. I figured that the plates I had to drop were mostly girls who didn't quite fit the stereotype that TRP supports. But it still works for most of the girls, so it's a useful idea. I've dated a fair amount of girls who weren't slutty in the least and I actually enjoy that more; it's definitely better for LTRs. The girl you're describing sounds like that kind of girl and I can assure you it's not that hard to find, especially with day game.

I initiate sex 98% of the time. Success rate is 50%

That's the only thing I would find problematic, but a bit of dread game should fix it. You also need to raise the amount of sex needed to get your affection, because if you give her all the attention she needs for that amount of sex, that's the amount of sex she's going to give you.

Rantamous · 2017-09-06T22:30:02+00:00

I'm not gonna lie. I skipped most of the shit you're posting, here. If TRP is giving you "oneitis," then you're doing something horribly, horribly wrong and need to re-read the sidebar. Assuming you even read it in the first place.

The biggest things that stand out to me: 1) Watch what she does, not what she says: Has she really only had 2 more to her "n" count, than you, or is that just what she says? She's likely had many, MANY more than you and is just lying to seem like less of a slut. 2) "she doesn't cheat or even have orbiters" are you serious / sure!? If she's as attractive as you say, there's no fucking way there's not a thirsty beta or cluster of them hoping to "nice guy" (tm) his way into her pants.

I'm not gonna bother continuing beyond those two, because, like I mentioned, I didn't bother to read the whole thing and don't want cancer.

MartinMcFlyy · 2017-09-06T23:25:52+00:00

Most of these lies wouldn't take much effort to tell. "Only blowjobs to boyfriends" I'm not even sure you believe that as much that I'm a multi billionaire that only sleeps with playboy bunnies.

MattyAnon · 2017-09-07T00:24:25+00:00

Sex is not nearly as frequent as I want. 3x a week maximum, avg 1x a week

I initiate sex 98% of the time. Success rate is 50%

This means you're lowering your demands to try and meet her low interest or libido. This fucking sucks. You're asking for less than you want, and getting only half of THAT.

You are with a girl who uses sex for power. She is reducing her sexual availability to you. Fundamentally this is due to loss of attraction, and this is because you are supplying security.

1 spontaneous BJ per year.

Look, as a man, you are PAYING. You are living with her, committing to her, and you're having an exclusive sexual relationship with her. And you are not getting what you're paying for (which is normal, because commitment kills attraction).

She has developed serious body over a tiny amount of weight gain, stopping her from wearing makeup, dressing feminine

Not wanting to be attractive for you? I think I see where this is going.

So basically the vibe I'm getting from here is that if I break up with this chick I'm doomed to sluts for the rest of my life.

At least the sluts will fuck you.

There is no guarantee this relationship will last. And when it ends, you'll be gutted at all the sex you passed up.

Did I really find the needle in the haystack

Errr... no. She's low n-count because she's not that sexual.... or more likely doesn't respect you that much and isn't that attracted.

strikethrough123 · 2017-09-07T00:55:54+00:00

She keeps you alpha? How much mental gymnastics did you have to perform to come to that rationalization? And do you seriously believe a girl that's 1-2 counts above your SMV only lost her virginity at 21? Give me a fucking break. Come on dude. I didn't even read your cons list. Unfortunately we're all "doomed" to sluts for our entire life, you aren't actually planning on getting married given the current state of affairs do you?

Thotwrecker · 2017-09-07T02:50:17+00:00

All of your cons are your fault, or rather, even if they are her fault they are fixable by you behaving more alpha. Her pros are decent, but her cons are from her not being confident / sure in how to categorize you. Are you alpha fucks, beta bucks? She can't decide, so she does shit like feel the dread when you get hit on, but that doesn't lead to her inhaling your dick. She's clingy and jealous, which is how girls get around higher value guys, but she's not doing that from a place of attraction, she's doing that from a place of habit because you've tolerated it and it's become her default behavior.

When my plate gets jealous, it's fucking hot, I'll be concerned that she's about to snap my dick with the way she rides it trying to impress me.

But your girl doesn't give a shit about staying in tip top gym booty bunny shape for you, she doesn't doesn't fuck you like she's trying to exorcise her demons, so you're not her alpha.

You say she keeps you alpha by calling you out when you act beta? And you defer decisions to her, and she feels uncomfortable, and gives them back to you? How in the fuck did that seem RP or alpha to you? You think Elon Musk needs his bitch wife to keep him motivated and hungry to be an alpha in the tech industry? Fuck that shit, an alpha IS. He doesn't have to be kept that way by his woman giving him opportunities and reminders to nut up.

You found a decent chick who is of average base material (decent SMV and RMV it sounds like). You have two options. You can either dump her and do better with the next one and keep her fucking you by, you know, actually being alpha and actually arousing her through spontaneity, dominance, leadership, etc. Or you can revamp your behavior in this relationship and try to get many of the cons to self correct.

Both are doable, but the latter is way more work. You'll have to get ripped so that you can lead her towards getting her body in shape (which will help her sexual confidence and make her want to fuck more in the long run). You'll have to have a frank discussion about sex and your expectations, and then use light dread to get her to value you sexually and not take you for granted. You'll have to get firmer about your boundaries and shut down all these typical female behaviors that come out when she's taking a alpha/beta hybrid (like always questioning or advising you on what to do).

All of that is a lot of work, and you may be best served by just saying fuck it, I'll start again with a fresh canvas. That is what I would do. But you can do either, provided you are willing to nut up and lead the relationship through what is sure to be a painful transformative phase.

hafunnylol · 2017-09-07T03:15:14+00:00

Sounds like you found a good girlfriend, not a unicorn which you seem to believe. There are slight issues, which are always the case. Biggest problem here is you seem to think you found a unicorn.

VictxrSenpai · 2017-09-08T04:21:42+00:00

Are you retarded? If TRP is giving you oneitis than go swallow that blue pill and put all your chips down on your girl and come back and tell us how that works out for ya

TheJedi_Lied · 2017-09-07T01:01:48+00:00

Tell girls you're poly? A solution to cheating. I think you know what to do. Yeah, most girls are sluts. Yours too. With only three guys she's gonna want to try more soon. Best of luck

CarnivOre93 · 2017-09-07T13:54:30+00:00

I'm coihabited with my ltr. If I walk around with my shirt on she always takes my pants off and sucks me or initiates sex. You need to step your fitness levels up bruh.

XLovesBush · 2017-09-07T15:14:17+00:00

Dude don't do it. If she's a keeper keep her. I regret breaking up with mine

PsyMonk- · 2017-09-28T21:29:07+00:00

I'm 24 and all those wonderful things you mentioned from living a single life sounded like you don't want those things. Dump the broad bro. My very first symptom of ingesting the red pill was losing oneitis and gaining immunity to relationship thinking. I can still feel the places it damaged and its scars. But I feel cured. You need to believe it too. Think of all the reasons why you feel the need to have somebody there, eventually your pros list will dwindle and you will appreciate the value of personal space and thinking alone. I honestly can't imagine being with one woman for the rest of my life ever again. Not through my spiritual learning nor through red pill mastering. The blue pill day rage is like the Kaioken to it all.

Title	TRP is.... giving me oneitis?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	18
Comments	33
Date	September 6, 2017 3:15 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6yg86c/trp_is_giving_me_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/trp-is-giving-me-oneitis.45815 https://theredarchive.com/post/45815

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