Animus (noun):

  1. Hostility or ill feeling.

  2. Motivation to do something.

All our lives, we’re told not to hate. That hate is bad. That hate pulls people apart.

I’m here to tell you that that is fucking bullshit.

Hatred is the most effective method of growing closer to another person that I've ever discovered.

It’s so fucking easy to immediately establish a TON of common ground with a girl, simply by discovering something that you both hate. Hate is a primal, intense, full-body emotion that you can easily and instantly elicit in anyone you encounter. Hate brings people together.

Think about it: Almost all communities are based on hate. America itself is based on it.

It’s incredibly hard for humans to band together and agree that they like something – because things are in limited supply, so people tend to get competitive when they establish that they both want the same thing. But it’s UNBELIEVABLY easy for humans to get together and agree that they HATE something.

(If you and I both want the same job, then we’re not friends. We’re competitors. We don’t like each other. But if you and I HATE the same job, then we can EASILY become friends. We can bond over our mutual hatred of the job).

The hate isn’t the point. Hate is not the end game. The end game is to connect with other human beings, and a great way to do that is by establishing mutual hatred of something that you both dislike.

This principle works across all relationships, but I’ve found that the principle of mutual hatred might be the single most powerful tool in my game arsenal.

Let’s say you’re talking to a girl. If you say “I love Picasso,” then she has to do a whole series of computations in her head to decide whether or not she likes Picasso too. She has to decide whether or not it will make her look cool to like Picasso. All the while, she has zero primitive emotions coursing through her central nervous system.

But if, instead, you say, “Don’t you hate pretentious art snobs?” then she doesn’t have to think at all. She agrees immediately. Everyone hates pretentious art snobs. BAM – all of a sudden you’ve established common ground AND you’ve stirred up a very strong, primal emotion in her: hate.

And the two of you can bond over how you both feel that same strong, primitive emotion. And then later, in bed, you can bond even more about the other strong, primitive emotions you’re feeling.

Hate is an incredibly powerful tool. Use it.