I was seeing a guy for a little less than 5 months last year, but due to COVID and me going to school 6 hours in state, we only ever really got to have 3 in person dates. He seemed very respectful (no initiation towards physical/sexual contact) and consistenly showed interest, so we were on a solid path to forming a connection. I was dating around of course to keep my options, but I made it clear that I was looking for a relationship. A couple weeks after lockdown and me moving back home, however I felt that just texting wasn’t enough for me. I needed more effort into pursuing a relationship or thought we should end communication. I asked him to DTR (stupid I know but this was preFDS me), asking if he was open to the possibility of a relationship and his intentions for me. He said that he wanted take things in that direction, but needed more time to spend together, which I thought was fine given the circumstances of being in a global pandemic. We’d started video chatting and seemed to increase his efforts in getting to know me, but after 2 weeks he said that he couldn’t do the long distance when I moved back to school and that he wanted to be friends. The days leading up to this I definitely felt some type of pull back. I told him no and have not had any contact with him since.

Now, I understand long distance isn’t for everyone, but I felt disrespected that he didn’t tell me all of this two weeks prior during our conversation. To make matters worse, when I went to my friends, they told me I was expecting way too much from him to be in a long distance relationship with me. I wasn’t even upset about that part, we hadn’t had a lot of in person interaction, so if he would’ve told me all of this two weeks prior, I wouldn’t have been upset. I was just mad that he’d basically lied and strung me along, yet my friends failed to acknowledge it despite me trying to bring it up them a few times. We’re in our early 20s and he’s a grown ass man who should be able to communicate what he’s feeling. If he needed time to think, he’d could’ve just asked (although I probably would’ve ended things right then and there).

Since then, I’ve absorbed all the FDS material I could find and have taken some time to heal from my pick ways to become a HVW. I want a HVM/HVW who goes above and beyond. A friend who is also on the path to becoming HV brought this situation up a few days ago (again saying I was expecting to much from him) and its really been bugging me. Was I asking too much of him to know how he felt about me given our level of interaction? Was I too harsh? Should I reconcile with him?