hi everyone. i’m wondering what to do about a situation with a friend who revealed feelings for me recently.

he and i are in the same fairly small graduate program and had most classes together last year. we’re also involved in some of the same activities this year, so we see each other around pretty often. he was possibly my first friend in this program, and he’s probably one of the most popular people in it. we clicked almost immediately over a bunch of things, and lately we’ve been finishing each others’ sentences haha. in addition to our shared interests/personalities, he’s smart, funny, and kind. he doesn’t give off creepy, just-trying-to-get-in-your-pants vibes.

i’ve occasionally wondered if he’s dating material. but i’ve been focusing on myself lately—for quite a while, actually—to the point that dating isn’t even a blip on my radar. [nails emoji]

we were chatting today and somehow in the course of our conversation, he revealed he had feelings for me. i wasn’t surprised—i know it’s not too uncommon for friends to fall for each other. but i feel conflicted. i think he’s a good egg, and we’re compatible in terms of interests, personalities, and the like. at the same time, i’ve never felt a physical attraction to him. he’s not unattractive per se, just…idk, it’s not there for me personally. i’ve sometimes wondered if i should be more pragmatic about dating and less shallow, but at the same time, i think i deserve exactly what i want hahaha.

i ended up saying things like “that’s really nice, that’s really cute,” lol. i didn’t turn him down, but i didn’t say “i like you too” obviously. we have exams soon (he said he wasn’t planning to tell me until after them actually), so nothing will happen over the next couple weeks.

here’s my question - should i nip it in the bud before we go on a date due to my lack of physical attraction? or should i see where things go?

if the latter, i think i’m in a good place mentally for it because i don’t otherwise care about dating; anyone who wants to date me will have to actively benefit my life since i’m so happy single! it will take a LOT of green flags and vetting for me to even consider letting someone (him or anyone else) take up any space in my life, to say nothing of being my boyfriend. i think this is an opportunity in that respect but idk, i don’t want to drag things on if there’s a 0% chance i’ll end up being attracted…aaagh.

thank you all for any advice <3