Don’t want to get into the details but it’s been almost two years and every so often it still gets me.

He took my virginity and made me believe he loved me and then left.

He’s a classic, rich, LA fuckboy. Famous ex girlfriend (so the fact that he was still obsessed with her destroyed my self image) and has a ton of models and sexy girls that he’s had casual sex with and talks to on Instagram.

I’ve done everything I’ve been told to do in my situation. I’ve gone strict no contact after the break up. I’ve read books, meditated, tried with my hobbies and built up my body image, tried to live my best life.

I’ve got cute and cool pictures on my Instagram and people say I’m looking great. But it all feels useless because he doesn’t give a shit and a he never will. He got away and never looked back at all.

It’s not even “I want him back” because I don’t. I’ve realised he’s a lying, selfish loser who didn’t deserve me - it’s more “he won”.

He fucked me and got what he wanted and an ego boost - I gave him love and affection and letters. Then he got to leave without a care in the world and have his far more beautiful exes and side pieces.

No matter how beautiful I think I look, he’s got a more beautiful girl somewhere. No matter how hard I try, he’s winning by forgetting all about me. He unfollowed me on everything.

If he knew that I was still thinking about him, he would laugh or ask who I was. I feel so plain and pathetic compared to his crowd.

God, how do you get closure or any satisfaction from knowing you were rejected, abandoned and completely disregarded for other rich and gorgeous girls that he can have. (Don’t even know how he does it - he’s kinda ugly, balding and terrible at sex)