~ archived since 2018 ~

Scared of all the hate we get :(

October 25, 2020
76 upvotes

I love and live the FDS lifestyle. But recently I have seen some absolutely disgusting YT videos about this sub, and read the death threats that people comment below our posts before they get banned. I'm not sure if I can deal with this much negativity even though I know they're all lies. The hate comes from men, women, left, right, middle, it's scary. I'm being called names when stating my standards in online dating and men have even told me they wish I get raped. I get accused of lying about my accomplishments and lifestyle because I'm single. I feel like I have to keep the concepts that I identify with a secret in order not to get attacked verbally or physically. I don't have a single non-pickme friend to share this with. How do y'all deal with this?

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Post Information
Title Scared of all the hate we get :(
Author FleetingDaisy
Upvotes 76
Comments 14
Date October 25, 2020 6:02 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askFDS
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/scared-of-all-the-hate-we-get.1068289
https://theredarchive.com/post/1068289
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/jhxugd/scared_of_all_the_hate_we_get/
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Comments

[–]Anodynic 30 points31 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you were a libfem you would get the same amount of hate. There are disgusting YT videos about libfems, about regular reddit subs in general, death threats towards liberal women. Same goes with women who are overly religious or women who are athiests. Same goes with liberal women from conservative men and conservative women from liberal men.

It is in human nature to be critical. While it is always easy to see the praise that people who disagree with you get, you have to recognize that anyone with any type of opinion gets dissenters. Don't lower your standards, but also don't feel the need to be so open with people. Don't tell people about FDS and don't go sharing things as part of a bigger principle.

About sex, just say you're not comfortable being intimate so fast. Avoiding 50/50 just say you're not used to this type of treatment and you are used to relationships where you are treated that way. About high standards, just say that you don't want to date someone who can't follow the same standards you set for yourself. And on and on. You don't have to label yourself, especially publicly, if you don't want to. But never lower your standards for fear of being judged, especially as you will be judged regardless. That is just the nature of being a woman. If you have too much sex you're loose, if you have too little you're a prude. If you have too high standards you're a bitch, if you have too low standards you're easy. If you enjoy partying you're irresponsible, if you don't like partying you're frigid and boring. You can never win, so stop trying to impress people who don't matter. All you need is one when it comes to a partner.

[–]Phoenix__Rising2018FDS Moderator 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That last paragraph is as true as it gets.

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Don’t be scared. You get used to it and your skin will get really hard to this over time. The threats are something I laugh at now. They are all talk, so you don’t have to worry about anyone acting on it. In all my years of online activism no one has ever had the balls do to anything to me and I use a picture of my face as an avatar. They are just cowards. The lies about single women like us not having any accomplishments come from misogyny. People just can’t fathom a woman making a life for herself without a man helping her! It takes time to build confidence, just keep working on you and don’t surround yourself with the negativity and stay focused on you.

[–]FleetingDaisy[S] 32 points33 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

The fact is, I’m single because since I adjusted my standards about a year ago, the absolute most men simply don’t make the cut. Every single one of them will make me cringe at some point by being low level/misogynist/narcissist/etc you get me. But the women! WTF they get so aggressive when we talk about out standards. I mean if greedy ass LVMs that make you pay money to run after them are your jam, go for it sis, but calling me names for being different? Demoralizing and frustrating.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Don’t talk about your standards with the pickmes. If you know they are pickmes, they demoralize your standards bc let’s face it, they are giving away their worth and don’t want to accept that

[–]FleetingDaisy[S] 11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This was in facebook groups that I thought were feminist, such as ones where we drag screenshotted content posted by shitty boyfriends/husbands, etc. But I guess I won’t comment there anymore.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That makes sense. They are bitter about being in relationships with NV/LV men, they have low standards, settled, and are miserable. You on the other hand have high standards. You see? They say your standards are too high and you won’t be able to get a man (NV/LV). At FDS we don’t want those anyway, we want High Value men or no man at all.

[–]FleetingDaisy[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm so comfortable with being single, that I can't understand this desperation to keep a LVM boyfriend/husband even though I'm miserable. But then again if they were not miserable, they wouldn't have the need to put other women down to feel better. They probably learned it from their men in the first place lol.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Right. They’ve internalized misogyny. You can tell them that you keep your standards high as a way to vet out undesirable men. It’s the truth. And if they neg you again just be like “id rather be single than miserable” that’s what I do

[–]lunatigre 22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Women have been harassed and threatened for every demand to be treated as human, the right to vote, to have credit/bank account in our name alone, be paid the same as men for the same job etc. etc. etc. The internet does change dynamics in that you can cyber bully someone with relatively low effort and anonymity.

In person I test the waters with people to gauge how receptive they are to FDS ideas. With some people I might engage further with others I don't.

Do what you need to protect yourself online but don't let haters silent you though.

[–]FleetingDaisy[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. You put it into perspective. The bullying of women hasn't changed, people just use different ways to convey it. And sadly, women have joined their forces.

[–]dkwantsdk 26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You should read The Alchemist. The closer you get to your goal, the harder it will get.

The anger you see from those around you is from fear. It is a sign of what they value and not of what your life should or will be. You will level up, they will be in your rear view mirror for a bit, then not on your map at all. It can be hard, you will have to say goodbye to people and places that were once important to you, but they now no longer serve you. That may mean deleting your Facebook, leaving hobby communities, straight up moving cross country. It's okay to be scared. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other towards your goals.

[–]FleetingDaisy[S] 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you. Coincidentally, the moving country part I have already checked off my leveling-up list 😊

[–]dkwantsdk 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I did the same. Changed my life!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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