~ archived since 2018 ~

Success Stories

November 18, 2020

Hi ladies! I’m new to FDS but this sub has already changed my life entirely. I see a lot of posts calling out LV behavior that I might’ve not recognized as LV on my own, which has been so helpful in coming to terms with the fact that my boyfriend is an extremely narcissistic/emotionally abusive person and that I need to leave ASAP.

My question though, is how many of you have success stories after implementing FDS in your life? Sometimes the sheer volume of posts outing LVM is overwhelming, and I start to wonder if there are even any decent men left out there.

If any of you have been in a long-term, successful and fulfilling relationship with a HVM I would love to hear your experience and how you met him. Especially that last part because it seems like online dating is just a no-go. Thank you so much <3

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Post Information
Title Success Stories
Author udontknowshet
Upvotes 57
Comments 5
Date November 18, 2020 5:15 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/askFDS
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/success-stories.1068106
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/jwjtcw/success_stories/

[–]werker115 21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am curious about these stories as well! I think the point of FDS is more about becoming a HVW regardless of whether you get a HVM or not. But for some of us, a partner/family is a goal so it would be encouraging to hear from those who found that on their HV journey.

[–]MakeURegret 13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sometimes the sheer volume of posts outing LVM is overwhelming, and I start to wonder if there are even any decent men left out there.

I mean this is kinda like looking at the news and wondering if there are any good people left. Of course there are! Many of them are just being decent/normal people which isn’t necessarily newsworthy. Think about it. How often do you see uplifting news versus negative news? Same dynamic plays out in FDS. It’s just a natural human bias.

[–]dzgataFDS Specialist 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is true. I’ve seen some great HVM stories on FDS but the bad stories stick out so much more so it’s hard to remember the good cases.

[–]Sea_SoilFDS Specialist 14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm 25 and dating a HVM! We met in college during a theatrical production. He was playing one of the main characters and I was assistant stage manager.

When we met I hadn't actually yet discovered FDS, so I had a huge crush on him (though crushes are RARE for me because I have high standards, I can count the number of crushes I've had in my entire life on one hand) but had never been in a relationship and was too shy to act on it. We were in the same friend group from theatre and became friends through that, then he asked me out on a date and we dated for about 2 months before he asked me to be his girlfriend. He pursued me the whole time and I never had to bring up the "what are we" talk (if you're the one who has to bring it up it's a 🚩).

We are planning to get engaged soon! He's honestly my best friend, we laugh together so easily and really click. He's super hot and fit and lives a really healthy lifestyle like I do (organic, whole food diet, exersize, doesn't drink or smoke, doesn't use harsh carcinogenic household chemicals etc). I feel immensely supported, protected and provided for by him. He would literally die for me and has proven this in some unsafe situations we've unfortunately had to experience. What's most important to me is how much he loves me. I've never met anyone in my life who is as accepting of me as he is, not only that, but he celebrates me. He's shown me how to value things about myself that I never valued or saw.

It's not ALL "perfect" in that we are young and both artists so money has always been tight. He's ambitious though, a good saver and puts in effort regardless of the financial situation. I have a cousin whose boyfriend makes 3x what she does and still INSISTS they go 50/50 on everything. So regardless of what male lurkers want to project, just being rich doesn't make someone a HVM! I know my boyfriend would NEVER tolerate that. His end goal is to make enough to support us both so that I don't have to stress about a job I don't actually like and can just do what I'm passionate about.

I had tried online dating on and off for a couple of years before I met him and never had any luck. I really don't reccomend it. Building something naturally is so much more rewarding in my opinion. Men on OLD all just seemed like they only wanted sex or were so desperate and lonely they wanted a girlfriend RIGHT away and would take whatever they could get. Never found a HVM on online dating. I honestly don't think they really need it.

[–]udontknowshet 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for sharing, it’s so nice to hear about a healthy relationship. Wishing you two the best! 💘

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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